(Content Warning: mental health, emotional abuse, dealing with my childhood trauma.)
This post continues on from my previous posts, which I have included at the end of this post for you, should you have missed them. For those that are new to my blog, you may find reading them first is the best, before reading this one.
I have taken a little while since my last post, to progress to this next step. It’s not because I have been avoiding it, instead it is because I needed to find the right time to sit down and do this, knowing I would not rush the process, or be disturbed. There were two things I needed to do, to continue with my wellbeing journey:
- re-read the letter I wrote to Dad
- write a letter to my dog, Brin.
Letter to Dad
I chose to read the letter to Dad first, as I knew this would be the last time I needed to read this. The last time I read it, I was still at counselling and I found it wasn’t painful as before while reading it. It was like I was dis-connected, as though I was reading someone else’s letter. It was only when I got to the part about Brin, which brought up my guilt feelings I have, that it hurt. (Reading this letter was the same again for that part.) But because the letter was to do with the feelings I had about my Dad and now these don’t hurt as they did, I feel it is now time to dispose of this letter. At some point soon, I will burn that letter and when I do, it will be to signify of finally letting go of the hurt I have felt and be free.