I hide it well – Anxiety

Not my words, but instead from my friends that know me well. Any anxiety I have, they have said I hide it well.

Anxiety is when a person has a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something. Anxiety is related to the ‘fight or flight’ response. You can read more about it here, at Mind.

I have suffered anxiety many times, along with depression. Anxiety has put me in a situation where I have had panic attacks and although I have not had any panic attacks for a while, it does not mean I feel some sort of anxiety at times.
I am on medication since last year for when I had depression and anxiety. (Anxiety being the main problem, because of panic attacks I had at that time.)

As well as work that started off my depression and anxiety, it was also things that happened my childhood that were affecting me today. As you will know from my past posts, counselling has really helped to uncover this and since my counselling finished, I am still working on my wellbeing myself. If I ever need further counselling, I only have to refer myself back.
Anxiety can happen to me, when I travel to somewhere I am not familiar with and although I go on coach holidays in the UK mostly without a problem, I can be different if I take myself on a bus, or train to somewhere new. (Even though I prepare the best I can, by arming myself with a street map. I would never be without a street map!)

I have always said to myself in the past, that I will just get myself on a bus, or train and travel somewhere different, just to gain that confidence. But I haven’t. Although my day trips, or holidays have increased, so I suppose it is all not bad.

When I have discussed new areas I have visited with friends and how I have planned in advanced to know where I am going and revealing how I feel, I have had friends say to me, that I don’t show this and that I seem confident. Some friends have said what I have done on my own, they would never dream of doing, because they would not feel confident, or would panic at the idea.

Soon, I will be making a trip to an area I have never visited before. This will be an appointment to visit someone in regards to volunteering. (A different area of volunteering I am considering which I will blog about later, should I decide to do it.) So although I have looked up the area and I have my street map ready, along with asking a friend, to see if I was right with buses to take me there, I am feeling some anxiety. I have been feeling distracted because I have this on my mind.

I have ordered a eTrex. I have thought about using something like this some years ago, but put myself off from buying one. Although I know there are apps on phones you can get, my current phone is not ideal to use something like this. I am also on pay as you go. So again, it’s not ideal. (I am happy to stay on pay as you go, as it’s cheaper for me.)
My previous phone, which was an iPhone, the battery was getting poor. So even with that, I could not rely on it, because of the poor battery life, if I wanted!
Although I will see how I go with the eTrex, I will still be armed with a map, as a back up.

Do you suffer with anxiety? Do people who know you, find that you hide it well?


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

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