Talking therapies

As you know from reading this blog, I have had counselling in the past, the last two sets of sessions being very helpful for me.
This was because after the counsellor who I had for my first of theses two sessions, identifying my childhood past being the cause of how I was now.
Since these sessions have ended, I have been writing this blog as my continuing therapeutic way of dealing with things, as well as other things, like learning something new, remembering to give self-love.

I recommend talking therapy to anyone who is struggling. Talking therapy can work alone, or alongside antidepressants from your doctor, depending on the individual.

I recently learnt that someone closer to me was not doing well as I thought. After this person asked for advice, which I gave, I could see there was a bit more to it then the person was letting on, so I asked further. The person wouldn’t answer this question, as was concerned how I would feel ashamed of them, of their response.
I reassured that person, that I am sure you have done nothing to be ashamed of and that the advice I gave before would not help alone, as I could see whatever this issue was needed to be addressed. This would mean if they felt they could not be open with me, then to speak to a counsellor where you will not need to feel worried about being judged, because they are there to listen.
On answering further questions about what to expect in counselling sessions to reassure this person, because they have never seen a counsellor before, I printed off the necessary information, so they could self-refer. I hope this person does follow it through, because I know this person would benefit from it so much.

If you are feeling the need to talk to someone and have no one, or not confident in speaking to a friend, or family member, then please do speak to a counsellor. They are not there to judge, they are there to help.

I do recommend talking therapy, because you are in a neutral place where you do not need to worry about upsetting, or worrying a friend or relative, so you can unburden yourself. A place where you also won’t feel judged.

For more information on talking therapies, please visit this page at Mental Health Foundation.

Self Soothing ; Coping with Anxiety and Depression




.Self soothing and having a variety of coping methods for anxiety is an important part of surviving life in this world. Some children are guided to learn these things, while others are not. If you grew up with parents that were neglectful or abusive, then you most likely grew up with no self soothing skills. 


Everyone has anxiety and stress to deal with, but some people end up with anxiety disorders that overpower their lives, and their ability to interact with others in stressful environments.


If you never learned coping skills for anxiety growing up, then you can still find methods that will work for you. 


If you suffer from depression and anxiety, then you need to be able to self sooth. You need to find special methods that work for you. Everyone is unique and not all coping skills work for all people.

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Bedtime and Health Revamp Update

In the short time I revamped the way I sleep and prior to that, the results have been quick. It did not take long for me to settle in bed by avoiding using bright screens like my laptop and iPad for example a couple of hours at least before bed.
I have also recently bought a new bedside clock from a deaf company, where I can now sleep with an unlit display. Having this clock has certainly made it feel better for me in my bedroom. I only have my fire alert that emits a light, but it has not bothered me as I thought it would.

My rash I was suffering with has almost gone, so it has calmed down quicker than expected. I just have a flare up on one side of my neck.

From not wearing fleecy nightwear, I have noticed a difference in how I don’t get overheated at times. Also, with me finding I am sleeping better at night, I assume this has contributed to me sleeping well at night, as well as omitting unnecessary light.


Virtual Coffee – late October

If were having coffee, I’d be talking about how I have been having lots of coffee meet ups of some kind, with my friends.

If we were having coffee, I’d be saying since our last chat, it wasn’t long after when I did decide to put my warmer duvet on. It feels much better at night.

If we were having coffee, with the weather now cooler, I’m sure I’d be having something hot and depending where we were, it would vary from either a chicken roast dinner, or a jacket potato. What would you be having to eat?
On talking about the weather being cooler and food, what is your comfort food when the weather is cold? For me, it can be a jacket potato with cheese and beans, or a proper hot dinner. Sometimes soup can be comforting too. I like tomato soup, dipping cheese toasties into the soup as another winter comforter. Does anyone else do this? 🙂
For a sweet, there is nothing like an apple pie with custard. Yum. 🙂

If we were having coffee, since our last chat, I’d be saying that my artificial hedge order was causing me problems, due to the courier that the company unfortunately uses. The boss of the company took the matter seriously and put in a complaint to their local rep, which then was escalated further. This resulted in someone from the courier service getting in touch with me to apologise for the inconvenience it caused me and my mum, when they failed to deliver on the day expected. The person who contacted me, said to me that she would ensure that my chosen day would run smoothly this time and that the order be delivered by their courier within a particular morning time slot.
The boss from the company where I ordered the artificial hedge panels offered me free delivery next time, should I wish to order more and if I did, to email so that he could monitor and make sure the courier did not fail again. So  I am happy with how the company dealt with this.
When it came to receiving my order, the courier did bring the order before 10am, but my boxes on inspection looked battered.

Now pay attention, I said boxes.

I was only expecting one package and one of them definitely was not mine, even though it had my name on it. After taking several photos of the boxes from all angles, including the one that was not mine to show there was a label on addressed to me, then partly removing the label to show the one underneath with another address, I found both ok inside. My order I was expecting was not damaged thankfully and neither the extra one that was full of toilet rolls.

I let the company know what I had happened, showing them photos of battered boxes and that their package they sent me although battered, everything was ok inside. I then informed them about the other packaging, adding that I knew this other box had not come from them and that I blame the courier. Next time, should I order, they will use a different courier for me. This was because I told them I would not place a future order with them if they continue to use the one that they use.

I then emailed the lady who contacted me from the courier originally, saying how I was not happy and why and enclosing same photos. The box of toilet rolls were collected by the courier in the end. (The crappy courier, I will not be naming here.) The lady involved looked into how this happened and I received an email on this, which I wasn’t expecting. It was blamed on human error, which I do not believe for one minute and apologized. I did not bother replying to this as far as I am concerned, it is now done and end of.

There is obviously more I have been doing with regards to getting things for my garden, but I will talk about that more in its own separate post later sometime.

If we were having coffee, I’d be telling you how I received a Merit for Lesson one, in Health Care: Challenging Managing Behaviour.

Maybe our next coffee chat could be at my place and I can introduce you to my cat, Miley. I know some of you will know Miley, but she has never been introduced properly here. (Some of you will be thinking, why did I take so long.)  So see you then, in November time. Take care and bye for now.

When I feel like I have got two heads

It doesn’t happen often, but when I am looked at in a certain way that makes me feel like I have two heads, I try to think of positive things, like:

  • maybe they recognise from me from this blog, or my previous one
  • I could bear similar resemblance to someone they know
  • maybe they do know me, whilst I do not know them
  • interested in what I am eating, or doing
  • being nosey


Letter to my impatience

Dear Impatience

I have noticed recently you have been slowly creeping in and more so since I have been self-conscious and concerned about my rash. Catching me at a slightly vulnerable time.

I now write to tell you that I will no longer allow you to enter my life, because if I do, I know you will invite anger into my life again.
I have felt good since anger left and now way do I want to see anger in my life again.

When I observed how you were creeping back into my life, I decided to change things slightly as you appeared, to ignore you. It is feeling like a battle with you, which you will not win. I will be inviting kindness back into my life, who I neglected, to say kindness made me feel good. Allowing kindness back into my life, a reminder another blogger gave me, will mean you will no longer be around impatience.

I find you rude impatience for uninviting yourself and pushing kindness out. I will be making sure you are out of the door this time and not kindness. I need to make sure I do not ignore kindness who makes me feel good. I will need to make sure kindness is with me more often, making sure I am ok.

Bye bye, impatience and don’t come back.


Related post:

Letter to my anxiety

How I manage Raynaud’s

I suffer from Raynaud’s. Exactly when I first started having this, I don’t know, but I remember about the age of 8, being fascinated as I got up during cold nights to use the toilet and looking down at my feet, watching them change colour. I was never worried about it and I don’t remember being in pain then.
But in my teens, I remember my legs being in a lot of pain when it was freezing. You can imagine in the last year of school, when trousers were allowed for girls as optional uniform, I happily said to my Mum I want trousers and I felt so much better wearing them.

When I noticed having further problems, it was when I was about 21. I was in a factory that was cold, as shutters would be opened for stuff we packed to be taken outside on trucks. I remember my hands turning blue and I would drop things, complaining of the odd pain, which got worse for my right hand after an injury I had from my job there.
Someone else noticed how my hands were turning blue and said, “Oh, you have got Raynaud’s, my Mum has it.” At the time, I did not know what Raynaud’s was. But she said to me, who noticed my hands changing colour, that I had it. As I discussed my problems I was getting, she said, “Yes, my Mum suffers like that, you ought to get it checked out.” I didn’t. Instead, I just put on some gloves.

Roll on to my 30’s and I noticed when winter came, my hands were getting bluer and right hand getting more painful. My feet and hands would still feel like ice hours later from leaving the cold outdoors, even though I was inside my home, in the warmth.
Every winter I had to wear socks in bed to keep my feet warm and pain-free. I noticed how my feet were feeling numb too, so I ordered myself some thermal socks for when I was out and about which helped.

A few years ago I was pestered by my then boyfriend, (now ex,) to see the doctor about it. I said why? they can’t do anything for me, then what I am doing already. But he was still persistent and so when I did have an appointment with the doctor on something else, I mentioned about it there and then. The doctor confirmed what I knew for some time myself, that I do have Raynaud’s and, what I was already doing was fine and she said that’s what I need to do. But also there were tablets I can take to help. But I already made that clear at the start that I did not want to take anymore tablets, so my doctor said, just keep on doing what I am doing, by keeping warm and wrapped up. But if it ever was to be troublesome, I could always come back for those tablets if I wanted.

For now, I still manage by just keeping wrapped up, making sure I am warm.

Do you suffer with Raynaud’s?

Bedtime and Health Revamp


Although I have not revealed here, over the past few months I have been having bad sleep problems. Some were lasting the odd days to a few days, where I had insufficient quality of  sleep. I put my lack of sleep down due to the upset with the dentist experience I had and maybe worrying about it.
Lack of sleep makes me feel tired, grouchy on myself and it can make me feel low, or fed up. My motivations levels can drop and I can eventually start to eat unhealthily, which you will remember in one of my earlier posts, I did reveal me slipping up in that area and I have again, today. So I need to get myself sorted here and remind myself why I do this and the benefits for me.

Those who I chat with via Facebook quite regular, may find that I will not be on at night most times now, because I want that hour or two away from any bright screen, to allow myself to settle for bed. I have already been doing it at times and I have noticed the difference on those days. (I will also stop myself going on very late at night there, or browsing the web in general on bad sleep days and find my alternative that will be better to aid sleep.) I will answer any FB messages in the morning if I have time. If it is important and you know my mobile number, then it advisable to text and I will answer back when I can.


On top of this, my contact dermatitis I had under control has started flaring up and a rash has now started going up my lower part of my arms. So I am trying to control this.

My hands, I have started treating them with Betnovate again and I did put some on my arms once, but decided to stop doing this there, because originally it was for my hands and if I was to put it elsewhere on my body I would really need to see my doctor first.
My mum said, I ought to go back to my doctor after seeing it. But I can not just yet, because with my hands, I had been using a different cream and hand wash to my usual and I think this is what has done it. I have thrown it away and carried on using fully what I usually use and although it is very early days, I can see it is starting to look better and it is starting to be less irritating.
As for my arms, I did go back to my previous wash powder, so it could be this, but also the rash on my arms and possibly my hands as well, that I could be suffering from heat rash. (I had it round my neck last week.) I have noticed when I have felt hot and especially with having a cold since middle of last week, (that I am getting over,) my rash got worse when I was hot. To cool down my arms and resist me from scratching, I am using aloe gel, but I also put Tea Tree on today and I have found this especially good on first application. The downside is the smell. I have also read Witch Hazel is good for this, so I think this is something to consider for the future.

Nightwear: Bye bye fleecy pyjamas

As I seem to be having problems with heat rash, I have decided to get rid of my fleecy pyjamas and fleecy dressing gown. This was after reading up how wearing fleecy pyjamas in bed although cosy, it does not allow air to circulate and so when you are sleeping, you could be getting overheated. So I have treated myself to a few new cotton ones, a couple of them being brushed cotton to make it feel cosy.

I will miss my fleecy nightwear, but the heat rash as bad as I am having now, I am trying anything to combat it. It is not pleasant as you will know, if you have suffered it yourself.


Failing, after doing all this and it is not any better, I will go back to my doctor.

An open letter to all airlines who serve passengers with invisible illnesses — THE DISCLOSED

I am re-blogging this post to help raise awareness for invisible disabilities. Please go and visit the original blog post to read the rest of this story and re-blog her post. Thank you.

People of all ages can get sick.

via An open letter to all airlines who serve passengers with invisible illnesses — THE DISCLOSED