As you know, as title of this post I written not long back: I don’t know what to make of Christmas, this year. Although I did not mention in that post who my family was with dementia, you would more likely know who, if you are a regular reader of this blog, or know me personally. For those that missed when I first mentioned here about my aunt having dementia, it was in this post: Grief. At the time of writing ‘Grief,’ I was feeling the grief of how it affected my family, which eventually got a little easier. The dementia how it affects a person, I felt hard to, because I had seen it before, but for my family, it is all new.
Now I am torn, as I see the effects of dementia taking hold of my lovely aunt and I feel the pain of my family around me, who are affected.
I know that as Christmas gets nearer, I still feel the same as before about it, except I do know I really don’t want to party, or have my tree up. I just want a quiet time at home, which was what I had planned anyway, with my mum, as well as us maybe seeing our loved one, if she is still with us.
I have been feeling like I am in a world of my own at times, or distracted. For those that know me well, they will have heard me say I cannot write poems to save my life. Only very rare moments have I managed to write a poem and I wrote a poem recently, to get the feelings I have out of my system. I find this seems to be the only time I can do it and not just sit down and create one. I will share this poem later with you in a separate post, called ‘Cruel Dementia.’