#If depression were a choice

I created this post after inspiration from blogger, ‘Summer Starts to Shine,’ where she created a post of the same name: ‘#If depression were a choice.

#If depression were a choice

If depression were a choice, I would not have witnessed as a child of the ups and very bad downs of my mum’s mental health. I would not have worried whether she would disappear again, like before.

If depression were a choice, after seeing how it affected me personally as a child and, also how it affects other people and their families, then I would not choose depression myself. Because after all, it is no fun.

If depression were a choice, I would not struggle to get out of bed some mornings, or sometimes worry about the day ahead.

If depression were a choice, I would not have wished at one time that I was dead and that I was of no use to this world.

If depression were a choice, then I would choose to not have depression. But unfortunately it is not that easy.

If depression were a choice, then I would not have needed the doctor, counsellor or my medication.

If depression were a choice, then my mind would choose to stop dwelling on things.

If the bad experiences of childhood (including bullying, if I did not have enough already,) and early adulthood had not happened, then I would be able to stop my brain having the memories of those days and re-living them.

Until you have been in my shoes, or other people’s shoes of people suffering mental health, then you do not know. So please do not judge.

What I experience to another person it is different. I know how my experiences affect me, but it does not mean I know fully how it affects the next person. I can only be there to support, or to just listen.

Receiving comments of the following I write below, that I have heard personally myself over the years, are not helpful at all.

  • You can choose not to dwell on things
  • It happened to you a long time ago and so you should put it behind you
  • There’s no point living in the past
  • Isn’t it time you moved on?

So until you have been in our shoes, suffered what we have suffered, you will not know how exactly how our past affects our mental health. So do not judge, but listen to our stories and try to understand how it affects us.

If depression were a choice, then I would choose not to have depression.

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20 thoughts on “#If depression were a choice

      1. Thanks! It’s the simple ones that are the best. I felt really impressed reading yours 🙌 I waa wondering, would it be ok if I publish yours on my Twitter feed? To get the message out to different people? It’s your choice 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Wow, this is so powerful! I have also had all those things said to me. It would be like telling a paraplegic to get over it and walk already. It’s just that our wheelchair cannot be seen or understood. But the more blogs like this one will, over time, change the ignorance. Thanks for taking on a hard topic!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for joining and commenting. I totally agree with your comment too, that it is just like saying to someone in a chair to get over it and walk. Just because mental health is more hidden, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect us greatly.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is such a powerful post and so true. Thank you for sharing. Thanks to Summer for re-blogging.

    Even people who go through the same experiences don’t necessarily “feel” the same thing. We are all built differently. My being, my system and the wiring of my brain isn’t the same as another person’s. I used to feel bad and guilty for being such a baby and a spoiled brat, because I went through what many people breeze through like nothing. I was affected differently.

    No one can judge and no one can assume anything. If someone who has gone through the same but “successfully handled” what life has dished out for him/her cannot assume anything because he/she can’t possibly know how it is for us, someone who has never experienced what we experience has no right whatsoever to judge. They can give us emotional support, not accusing looks and judgement.

    Like

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