I am still taking a break from blogging, but I had to write this letter here for a friend and reader of this blog. (He knows who he is and he does not need to reply to it on Facebook, as I want to keep this friend anonymous, for who it is for. Written here instead of privately, for reasons we only know.)
As long as we remain friends on Facebook, you have not blown it. So please don’t think that.
You need to thank your friend for being such a good mediator for us, that I choose to still be friends via Facebook in the way you know currently.
As long as you respect my space, there will be a chance when I am back on Facebook sometime in July, that you will hear from me in regards to meeting up. But only as long as you continue to respect this break I need. (No trying to hopefully bump into me, just because you are there and hoping for a chance I could be there too. This may not go down well with me.)
This had to happen because I started having anxiety attacks with not having the space I needed. Not having the space I needed made me react in ways I probably would have not, had this been respected and had my studies not been disturbed, along with other things I won’t mention here.
The way I started to react and how I was feeling in the end totally surprised me too. It set some kind of trigger off. How I have been, I cannot be like this when I start to learn to drive and that is why I have cut you off to a certain extent and I feel I cannot risk it at the moment, because of how many chances you have had so far. I do not want to feel like that again. I also learnt from my friend and work colleague how I had changed at work. (I was apparently quieter.) I did not think I was.
As for me taking a three-month break from Facebook, that I not long announced, this is because I just need to do that.
I see that you are taking in what I said in an email I last sent, by seeing your other friends. This is good to see. You have friends that love and care for you, so do continue in doing what you are doing and when one day we actually chat and maybe meet up again, I want you to keep seeing them and not just focus on me. Don’t forget them.
If you have a chance of a new experience that takes your interest, then go for it! We all only have one life and how we choose to make it, is only down to ourselves.
Until I am back on Facebook, take care and don’t beat yourself up. Keep up what you are doing and anything more that takes your fancy.