Why I am back early from my blogging break

I have enjoyed my blogging break, but I have also partly missed it. While way, I have had a lot of ‘me time,’ just doing what I want to do, on my own. I have also enjoyed spending time with a couple of family members on days I have seen them.

I have some stressful times as you know, and while I have been away from blogging I have had some ups and downs. But most of these have been ups, as I shared in my first post back from my blogging break.
I have dealt with these ups and downs in ways that are suitable for me, to get it out of my system, which two of them being doodles and sharpie drawings.

I came back earlier to blogging than planned because I wanted a distraction from earlier that day. For two hours, I had to talk a lot about negative stuff with someone from Welfare Rights who was helping me with my PIP application. Like many others who are or were on DLA originally, regardless if you had it for life, we all have to go onto PIP. But if you want it, you have to apply for it. Luckily the person who is helping me with my PIP is the same person who helped me with my DLA. But regardless I am having help with filling it in, it does not make the process any easier.
Talking about all the negativity of your disability, so it is filled in properly on the form to get across to them looking at it on how your disability affects you is hard work. I cried at one point while talking about the negative effects of my hearing loss, saying how easier just being on my own can be, so I can just be me and take my hearing aids out.  Comparing to before when I applied for DLA and now for the PIP, there is a lot more down on paper. I was there for two hours. To say the PIP form is thinner than the DLA form I remember, there is still a lot of writing had to go into it.

Originally my DLA was just for my hearing loss, (although other things were mentioned, but not important then.) Now I have to talk about my depression and anxiety.

Although I left the place where I met up with Welfare Rights person better than during my session, I did start to feel tearful again while eating lunch in town. A place where I was going to have originally lunch in was very busy, so I went to another cafe very near by. I felt a little edgy where I choose to sit, with the cafe being in the centre of the shopping centre and choosing to sit on a seat around the edge. I should have really sat somewhere more in the middle, then I may have felt less edgy.
Before going home, I thought I’d pop into HMV and buy a couple of CD’s to hopefully cheer me up a bit. I bought Ed Sheeran, ‘Divide’ and Anastacia, ‘Ultimate Collection.’
It took towards the evening though, when I was working with my colleague, before my mood picked up much better.

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9 thoughts on “Why I am back early from my blogging break

    1. Yes, it was tough talking negative stuff about my hearing loss, in addition to anxiety and depression now. Things to do with my hearing loss frustrate me, it can also knock my self-esteem depending on the situation. I get tired easily with the lipreading and trying to listen. I know my Welfare Rights person from before and through visiting deaf society in he past, that I have not been to a few years now.
      When we had done this, she was telling me about whats on at deaf society to see if I would like to come back. She said she would even try and be there when I attend so there is that familiar face.
      The cd’s helped, but it was later at night with my work colleague and friend when I finally picked up. 🙂

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    1. Thank you. 🙂

      The PIP application is just as difficult as when I applied for DLA, to say it looks a thinner form, there is still lots to write inside.

      When I go over my deafness it is difficult because of how I feel about it, talking about stuff that I would not have talked about before and because of my anxiety being more worse than DLA days, along with taking medication currently for that and my depression, then that has to go in too.

      When I cried, I was holding myself together hard for about half an hour before that. I was feeling tired at this point with the concentration of lipreading her while listening as best as I can. Talking about the negativity of my hearing loss which upsets me and frustrates me was really difficult and it was hard to understand with the form with understanding how it worked, which she tried to help me understand to get the answers down in the right way.
      Talking about negative stuff for two hours is depressing and emotional draining when you try to get away from this and be positive in life. The PIP form has to be treated the same as the DLA form in calling it a negativity book, because its all what you can’t do and difficulties that you put down in it. x

      Liked by 1 person

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