A trigger that can still catch me out

A trigger that can still catch me out, is when I am accused of something I have not done, that is of a serious nature. I can quickly show my anger as the response I feel brewing inside of me is so strong. This is because of when I was a child, I was once accused by a close family member of taking money from a particular place that she had. Looking back on my very earlier blog posts where I talked about my childhood, I thought I had raised this there, but I don’t seemed to have. I can see why I chosen not to do it, to protect the person. I still am, hence using the word ‘close family member.’ But that person, knows how to this day that accusation has affected me. Who ever I shop for, it doesn’t matter, I will still always come back with a receipt. It’s my protection.

Now recently, another same situation cropped up at work. (Not to do with money, but instead a key.) It wasn’t aimed directly at me, just the department I work for which I will call A. The people throwing this accusation were where I get the key from, which I will call B. It was B’s fault, because from the week before when it was signed back in, at some point it went missing and they did not have anything to show in their book who had it. No one in A had it at the start of the week and it is not needed by us at the weekend. But no, like before, B like to blame A.

Now although I know it was not aimed directly at me, my response and how I felt inside was the same as it would have been, had I been accused. Like they did when this happened before. They decided it was someones fault I found later, from our department, but that person never had that key, because he wasn’t given that one and this person has the proof. But because I knew they were throwing the same trick as they did to me, it got me angry and pent-up. I let my department know what was going off and they were not happy to hear of this happening. (I hope they have done something about it.)
From telling them, I thought that as well as letting them know what was going on, that also it would undo all the pent-up anger I had inside me. Did it heck.

When I was home I focused on my cat, did mindfulness drinking of my tea and lit a scented candle, which after doing this, I was 90% better. I then decided to go to bed early, to switch off, but when I got up the next morning, my body was telling me about it from how I was the day before; painful joints, feeling tired and a little tense.
I went out to focus on my studies and I drank my latte mindfully. Eventually, I was mindfully better, but I still had to contend with my pains and tiredness for the rest of the day.

I know, through the help of my counselling I had that time, that I am now aware that these feelings I have when I hear of accusations like this, whether directly at me, or at A, are the same emotions I felt from my childhood. This, along with the injustice of it all.
My response has reminded me, that there are still times when I have some work to do, to try to ease these emotions less.
I have to remind myself that whether against me, or others in A, that for my own health, I have to try and keep this stress minimal as I can. By doing so, I won’t have the side effects afterwards in my body, where I am tired and having joint pain. But this is going to be hard, I know.

If you can relate and you have tips to share, that are different from what I am practising, then please share.


Driving lesson update

Today was driving around to use the skills I had already, as well as going somewhere new where it meant I had to go even faster.
Over the next few weeks, my instructor said we will carry on doing something like this, so that it hopefully improves my confidence and I feel less anxious about it. Also driving like this, we see where also I may need to improve and there are a few of those, but as my instructor had mentioned, it is all normal and it will improve on each lesson.

I am also being booked for my theory test and when he gets some dates for those, he will let me know, so that a date can be chosen.

A short post, but that’s about it for now. 🙂

Giveaway Time – Two Mindfulness books up for grabs!

I have two books up for grabs, which I am going to run as two separate giveaway type competitions.

Book 1 giveaway: is this magazine, (bookazine,) for one reader. This giveaway is running due to me not realising I had already bought it earlier on, so I would like to give this one away to one lucky reader.


This magazine, (bookazine) is called “The Mindfulness Book” and is certainly something to keep on your bookshelf and refer back to later.

Book giveaway 2: is “The Little Book of Mindfulness,” by Dr Patrizia Collard, which you will remember I did a book review about this here.


Do you fancy entering? If so, please see how to enter below.

How to enter:

  1. This giveaway is open to anyone, regardless of where you live.
  2. Email me, to liz.myjourney@gmail.com, leaving just your first and last name at this point and stating in the email you are entering for the Mindfulness books giveaway, so I know.
  3. This giveaway I will keep open until 28th August 2017, at 9am UK time. I will then put all names into a bag and draw out two people, if they are sufficient entries. (So do come back to this post, which I will pin to the top of my blog page and I will keep you updated there, at the end of this post.)
  4. When the names have been drawn sometime that day, (if there are sufficient entries,) I will then contact the winners, which then at that point I will need to know where you would like me to post your giveaway. You will have 2 days to respond back, otherwise I will draw out another name.
  5. Once there are official winners, this will be announced in this original post and kept to the top of the blog for following two weeks.
  6. Details given are only for the use of this giveaway and not shared to anyone else. Details will not be kept once the giveaway has ended.

Good luck to those who take part.

Giveaway Update!

Winner of Book giveaway 1 is: Christy B.

Winner of Book giveaway 2 is: Caz

Congratulations to you both and I hope you enjoy them and find them useful. 🙂


Not Your Typical Introvert — Solivagant Spirit

Something I can relate to as an introvert,  that I discovered today. Do pop on over and continue to read.

I don’t always have my nose buried in a book, You will not always find me hiding in a nook, I like talking to people. Surprise,surprise! This is normal for me, I’m not unstable. I don’t have an outgoing best friend, I may not even be good in studies, I can be like you, […]

via Not Your Typical Introvert — Solivagant Spirit

My driving lesson update

It was my 10th driving lesson today, but today it was just to focus on my Theory Test and Hazard Perception. No driving today.
It was coffee at a place not so far away from where I live and I had a go at my Theory Test, followed by Hazard Perception test, so I could be given tips on how to improve on the Hazard Perception.
The Theory Test I passed, which I have always done and so I am confident there, although I still always revise as there is always room for improvement.
Next was the Hazard Perception, which I was nowhere near passing. Not a surprise for me as this is where I struggled. So the next thing was to go through these individual videos and see where I went wrong and discussing what it was I seen in each video. Once I was given the tips, I practised on a few with my instructor and reviewing them after to see where I went right or wrong. I then had a go at the Hazard Perception again and this time I passed with flying colours. 🙂 So between now and when I have my next lesson next Thursday, I am to practise my Hazard Perception and more of my Theory Test if I want and if I feel happy about it all, then he will get me booked in for the tests. 🙂

So while this is going on, I may be quiet here at times. There is only one post ready for schedule in about 11 days, but do please leave comments on any of my posts and I will air them when I can, as well as reply. 🙂


My learning

I finished a while back, my final assessment of my “Health Care – Managing Challenging Behaviour” course I and now await the result.
I just have my “Health Care Foundation Course” to complete, but I am not focusing on this too much while I concentrate on my driving. I will do it when I can, without the pressure behind it to do it, because I have over a year to do this course anyway.
Although this course and the one I finished before; “Mental Health” may not come in use for me, I have enjoyed the learning from it, especially the “Mental Health” one. I learnt more about me in that one, as well as new things on the topic in general.

Change of place

Usually, I like to study where it is quiet, but when I was studying for my driving on one occasion, I decided to study out; this was two coffee shops and the library while using their internet.  Mainly my studies were different tests, to see how well I was doing and I used their internet while doing this. The costs being just lunch and a couple of coffees and an ice-cold drink. I was out from morning till the afternoon doing this and it made a refreshing change. I was a right squatter that day, my break being only when I had lunch, then a short break when I got home in the afternoon before focusing on a different study for half an hour. After that, I thought I do truly deserve to have a break for the remainder of the day.

The weather

The weather has been varied; one minute hot and the next cold. Also, looking like it was going to rain, but never did and instead the sun shone brightly and it was hot.
Sometime back I was affected by the weather, but my cat, Miley has really been affected by the weather this year. For a short-haired tabby cat, she has been moulting very badly and suffered with fur balls. I have started brushing her every other day now, hoping this will help her. With how she has suffered this year, god knows how the long-haired cats are coping.

How is your pet coping with the weather?

When my mind is miles away…

I was inspired writing this, after reading this post “Anywhere but here…” at, “On Gypsie Mountain.” Do take a look.

So as you know, I want a change of jobs, but this has been a struggle due to no replies and suspected discrimination on definitely one of them, but possibly two. Along with this count and the job hunting over the last three years on and off, I have a total of definitely two, to a possible three where they have been discrimination.

So, when my mind is miles away…

  • My heart as well as my mind is in Brighton. I am longing to go back for a holiday, but I would love to live there.
  • I would like to be in a different job, to the one I have at the moment.
  • Sleep.
  • Just be miles away in general. (My mind drifting, I’m on about.)
  • Sit on the beach watching the waves.
  • Sit and watch the sun set and maybe rise.
  • Maybe start my own job. But there is an obstacle that may stop me.
  • To drive a car. (This one I am working on as you know.)
  • To hopefully afford a car one day. (Saving.)
  • Smell the lavender.