So since this first post back in January; “First chit-chat of 2018” when I revealed on how I found out about an ex and then further airing off about him in this post; “You don’t always know,” it has been quiet on the topic. Both the two posts came with trigger warnings, but this one won’t need one, as I won’t be talking about the triggering topics, so you will have to read them there, in the above two posts if you don’t know what this is all about.
Some of my blogging friends will know that although I have been quiet here on the matter, they will know I am still affected since finding out this awful news, because of leaving comments elsewhere on similar topics, venting away, because I understand and it being a touchy, triggering subject close to my heart.
As regular readers and close friends will know, I plan to stay single. I don’t want another relationship. I did not want another relationship after I left the last one, but since finding out what he is and the time wasted in that relationship, it is single all the way for me now. (A very determined one.)
Mum has hoped I would always settle with a particular friend, but when I finally came to an uproar with her because I was so pent-up of hearing the same repeated topic and because I felt that pushed and, my personal views not respected by mum, mum finally realised that friendship was all it was a going to be and a good friendship at that.
The effects now since discovering about the ex, is that I cannot stand red in my home. I found this out when I was going to view a flat one time. The photos shown a red wall in the kitchen. I could not stand looking at it and I knew that this would be the first thing I was going to change. I associate red with him. Especially red walls, as this was what he wanted to do in his kitchen where he once lived. Luckily this flat did not have any red, as it had been decorated all neutral, since those photos were taken. (The flat was not suitable in the end, as I blogged about.)
Thankfully, I have no red walls, but I do have a red microwave and kettle. I want to get rid of these and although I cringe as I use them, thankfully it is not the full effects as a red wall would be. Mum wants to get rid of her microwave I learnt recently, as she hardly uses it. I said I would have it, so I will go and check it out in the next couple of days, as mum said it wasn’t working properly. But I shall see how it is, as it shouldn’t be.