Think about what is most challenging in your life right now and name as many positive aspects of it that you can.
This above prompt came out of my gratitude journal, that I mentioned about in this post, Gratitude. I have been struggling with this page the last three weeks. Knowing how I have been feeling because of all the things that have been going on, I looked and thought during those three weeks, how the hell can I think of something so positive out of my most challenging in my life right now?
After three weeks of just staring at this prompt, I was able to write something today. I wanted to share this with you, due the support you have all gave me during my difficult time I am going through.
My challenging time is anxiety, not helped by Spark Energy, the administrators of Spark Energy and the council from the district I left. But also, after witnessing what happened outside my door in January, which left me terrified and now my anxiety even higher, on top of feeling jumpy at every noise and at times broken, that I have to cry with it all.
The positives are, that regardless how I feel and the above that’s happened, I still somehow seem to be fighting. I’m also determined of what will change and that’s me moving to another flat, or house, depending what appeals at that time, when my contract comes up. I am hoping my savings will still be there by October, to allow me my move.
Spark Energy have not heard the last of me and after seeing someone at CAB today, the manager at Spark Energy will be getting a letter, as advised by CAB. The administrators will also be getting a very similar letter, when I have heard from them. These letters what I have to say are all from a particular email I found in my spam box. So what I have to say to both of them, reminding them on a law that they have breached, someone here needs to acknowledge who is at fault here. CAB told me to keep them on their toes and I will be doing.
Come late August to September, I will start packing stuff I don’t need, like books for example.
Come October, I will start looking where I am moving next and hopefully that part won’t take too long.
Now, that is a true goal. Something tells me that this is one you will definitely succeed at, without a doubt. 😊
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Thank you for reading. 🙂 Regardless how I am feeling, I still don’t get how I manage to do it. I have crashed and burned, sleeping most of weekend.
Anxiety is no better, regardless I have spoken to the police today and gave my statement for the gun incident I witnessed, as I said to policeman, it has left me anxiety high and jumpy and all I can think of is to move. X
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All that you are feeling is normal, and with a valid reason.
If your body is crashing, don’t fight it. It’s obvious you need rest after this whole ordeal.
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I didn’t fight it last weekend. I slept most of the afternoon, dozed in between then to going to bed. Surprisingly, I still slept well in the night, although I did have a dream that reflected my anxiety and the gun business.
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Again, that is completly understandable. Try and hang in there. 😊
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Thanks. I feel like dropping to sleep now, but out of flat and walking around town till nearer time for work. 🙂
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Amazing post! 👍👍😊
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Hope you find it helpful. 🙂
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Yeah!! 😊
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Fantastic post Liz x
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Thank you. X
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You’re welcome Liz x
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Liz, I just read back through other responses, and did not know about a gun incudent. How absolutely awful. Did you post about it where I can read it? Oh my goidness. I think my anxiety levels woukd be through the roif too. Take care Liz, and like others say, just do what your bidy is telling you to do. Trauma takes its toll on us, i know from experience. Much love to you dear friend x
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The post Tainted View, which I think you have read was when I mentioned something had happened, but I didn’t go in the actual detail of revealing the gun. But when I did decide to reveal about it, I mentioned it in a post called, “For the first time tonight, I did not want to go home.” Link to that post, I have added below in this comment.
https://mywellbeingandlearningjourney.wordpress.com/2019/01/30/for-the-first-time-tonight-i-did-not-want-to-go-home/
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Thanks Liz. I will read it later. I am about to go out. But sounds like you had a horrible experience though. Take care. Back later xxxx
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It has made me very jumpy and anxiety higher, after witnessing this.
My statement to the police though, regardless what he did was wrong, I made sure they knew that verbally he wasn’t threatening and all he gave prior to this were warnings, and he really apologised greatly to these two people afterwards. It terrified me, because I never knew he owned guns and never would have thought he would point one at someone. I even jumped and had a little panic attack when my mail came through the door.
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Hi Liz, That was a challenging prompt! One of my courses in communication studies at the university was on conflict management (although our teacher renamed it on her materials as “harmony maintenance” 😉). A big concept we were taught was to look at difficult people as teachers brought into our life at a particular time to teach us a lesson we needed in order to become the person we were meant to be. It was up to us whether we learned the lesson or spurned the whole experience. I have not mastered this idea myself but I am encouraged by how you have looked inside yourself and found a fighter not a victim. That’s amazing, Liz!!!
If the people who were involved in the gun incident were to move from your building, would you want to stay?
Hugs, Sarah
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Hi Sarah and thanks.
After speaking with policeman, I learnt he was registered to own these guns. They have been taken away though, since I raised this incident. The investigation is still ongoing, but my statement alone could prevent him having his guns back and license taken off him.
He has lived here many years and so he won’t be going anywhere. But if there was some surprise turn around that he left, no, I wouldn’t stay. There are things with the flat I did not spot when I first moved in. Had I spot these, I wouldn’t have moved, as hard as it would have been to make that decision. But I loved the view and so I was blinded to everything else.
I can find a better place, if I am able to move when the time comes. It all depends on my savings and circumstances. Xx
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Bravo Liz! You pulled yourself out of that, nicely! Did you notice that the more you fed the negative, the more it grew and festered inside you? Then when you started searching for the positive…well, things got a bit lighter for you? You are so magical and smart! Congrats kiddo!
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It has took some weeks to find that and I am proud of that, but the effects of that night, with the others things are not helping my anxiety. I am a very jumpy person at the moment since that incident outside and counting down to moving somewhere else in town. Xx
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Now I have achieved that prompt finally, I wonder what else the pages will have in store for me. Like anymore challenging prompts? 🙂
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Yes! Challenge is good. Challenge brings growth. Without challenge, we stagnate because, everything is changing and change is good.
And oh my, how did that ‘challenge’ appear at the time when you needed it the most? That my dear, is synchronicity at its finest. Spirit was dancing with you……helping you and you allowed it and grew from it…..
This is so fun, watching you grow and become more of who you really are. Thank you
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Wooohooo, you go Liz! xx
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Thank you. 🙂 Xx
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