Just some unhelpful comments I can remember over my lifetime that I have heard, or still hear.
Oh how I hate this one. I have said about hearing this, in this post, How has stigma around mental health affected you?
Depending on my mood at the time this is said, I can either be sighing and rolling my eyes inside myself, or sarcastically thinking how I could give you chin up if my fist went upwards to your chin, then you would certainly be chin up.
Surprisingly, I have never said where to stick that one, or respond in any way! But I have noticed instead, I distance myself off, like I am not there.
“Snap out of it”
Only heard this once and a very long time ago, that the memory of this one is vague to the situation.
“There is always someone off worser than you”
Oh, don’t you think I don’t know that?
But all the same, does that mean my feelings don’t count? Are my feelings worth nothing?
For years I kept my mouth shut and, did not say how I felt and it did not get me anywhere. I was silent and broken at times and I felt I did not belong in the world, because my feelings were not validated.
When I could cope more, then counseling begun, because there you are not judged.
“Oh… I have felt sad sometimes.”
OMG and eyes rolling when I got this one. My eyes were literally rolling as this was said once when I first talked about my depression and taking meds. At first, I thought she understood, but when a comment came out afterwards she said that, it clearly wasn’t the case. I even asked a question to be sure. I can’t remember my exact words now, but I clearly put this person in their place and corrected the different between sad and depression. This was the same person who was ignorant about my deafness, only a few years before.
“But that’s in the past.”
Seeing my dog get beaten, doesn’t make it go away, like it never happened, or the fear of my dad that I remember.
Being raped doesn’t make how it affects me go away!
So you think I don’t? I am doing well trying to be positive and some days are really hard to be positive, that I am tired being positive. I think I can have a day off, or two from being positive.
What comments have you received, that you found not helpful?
Do you want to read up on further unhelpful comments. I found this page below, which will take you to The Mighty.
© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.
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