I am not going to go too deep in my thoughts, but lets start with when I first decided it was time for counselling. My private one I will be having in under 2 weeks, paid for by work. (Just 6 sessions are paid for by work.) When I filled the assessment form, it required next of kin details. For the first time I wrote none, because it’s not like my mum is available as next of kin. Mum can’t decide for herself, let alone me, if something came to the worst.
Maybe you are in a similar situation of having no next of kin. Maybe you have. Do feel free to comment.
So who do you put down for next of kin, when you have no one?
I know from researching and asking for advice back in August, that I am not forced to put down next of kin. So this looks like how it will be from now on for me and where I do know I have my mum down as next of kin on my records, I may start removing.
I had to visit the ward today so I could see a staff member in charge of my mum, regarding some personal affairs, after checking on her bungalow and mail today. I hope they will be dealt with. I hope they dealt with the other, because what I was reading today made me wonder.
I chose to see my mum, but told them how I have been and am at that point I was there. I only managed 5 minutes with my mum and it wasn’t a pleasant experience. In that 5 minutes mum spoke about:
- Germs in space
- Wanted me to save her savings book and bank card, which I said no, because she will need that. I have saved it before, for her. But I am not now.
- Wanted to know how I knew she was there
- Convinced she is well
- Told me to keep away while she’s there like she told me to before. (Even though mum has tried to make contact in between.)
Mum is very unwell in the way I expected. I don’t know when my next visit will be, but it will be no time soon. I can’t see mum being home for Christmas and I still feel like I have no mum. A feeling that I have had for some time now.
Our relationship won’t be the same again. And that’s if there will be ever one.
I still feel there is a chance my mum won’t be around by Christmas, regardless she is in a safe place. The only comfort I have, is knowing my mum is in a safe place.
Now, after this post airs, I am dealing with all the charities that ask for fucking money, or send raffle tickets to sell. Mum has not helped half of these and there are charities that I have never heard of. But whether she has helped or not, I am fucking telling them where to go. Those that know the full extent of this and what mum does, will know where I am coming from. But mum is like any other elderly person in the UK ; more fucking charity mail on her doorstep than what should be expected on her doorstep.
© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.
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