Thoughts and feelings

Glad I don’t have children

One time, I always wanted my own child, or maybe adopt. But after the last relationship I was in, I knew it wasn’t going to happen. (I wasn’t going to waste my years in another relationship to not go somewhere.) I later learnt by accident via Google, that he turned out to be jailed after abusing a child, as my long term readers will know from when I blogged anout it here. So with the disgust of knowing that, which created my own triggers from past as well as new ones at that time of discovery, I swore blind no one would touch me again, as well as definitely staying single. Which that remains.

But with how things have been with my mum and how I am from the effects of it, I am so glad I don’t have children. What I have felt in my childhood and as an adult, would now be repeated and passed on in some form. I wouldn’t want to put them through it.

Lows and highs for today

I can only foucus only on a day at a time. Each day is a mental struggle. If I try to focus on anything more than a day, even for the positive things, I just find it overwhelming.

I have had a few little highs this morning, that just perked my morning a little.
After my morning job was done, I chose to walk through the nature reserve, as I was going to my local supermarket and there is way off the reserve that brings you to it. On my travel through the reserve, I seen a heron and oh my, I was really close. I have seen a heron before, but not as close as I was today. I wasn’t able to get a photo unfortunately, as it flew off.
My other pick me up was while I was in the supermarket. I came across an apple pie that was actually vegan and it wasn’t expensive. Which makes a change. It was under £2. I am going to be enjoying this with dairy-free custard today and tomorrow.

Photo of packaging of my vegan apple pie


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22 thoughts on “Thoughts and feelings

  1. I would like to add, you may notice the soya cream in the photo. I was going to have it with that originally, until I realised I had custard in and so I wanted comfort food as I know it.

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    1. I will do thank you. Sometimes you just don’t want to make your own and it’s been a while since I have had an apple pie, so definitely will be looking forward to it.

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      1. Thank you for that suggestion, as I would not have thought olive oil in mash potato.
        At home, it’s not an issue as I have dairy-free equivalent spread, if I want mash. It’s eating out that’s the problem, as places don’t adapt fully as you would at home. But it certainly gives me a new idea should I want to have a change and do this.

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      2. When I have mash potato one day at home, I will out of curiosity put olive oil in, as I recently bought some for drizzling over avocado yesterday.

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      3. I don’t like olives, but I did enjoy the olive oil in my avocado. I also added garlic granules to the avocado and had it on toast, as a mid morning snack. I enjoyed it.

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