So without trying to go into much detail and make this post long. If you have been following for sometime, you will know it has been a very difficult time, for some time, with my mum and how it’s affected me during that course.
Part of the afternoon, (just 2 hours abouts) it was a whirlwind of emotions.
During that time a fair bit of communicating earlier in the day to after lunch in parts. I decided with communicating to my mum’s Social Worker about it, that I was going to take on responsibility of mum’s financial affairs. I wasn’t going to let the council do it because in the end I would have no say. But as Social Worker also mentioned, it wouldn’t have been personal, like it would if a family member took charge. So Social Worker is happy to hear I will take it on. So I will be applying for Court Of Protection.
Court Of Protection has to happen with there being no Power of Attorney and a Power Of Attorney can’t be done now, because mum doesn’t have the mental capacity.
Although I will get eventually reimbursed, due to this, the hoping of having a house deposit by middle of next year is not going to happen. I shall have to see what the year after brings, because I know from already reading about Court of Protection, that there is a fee each year. I don’t know if that would come out of mum’s, or mine. But I will learn as it happens.
The fee is higher the first year, because of the support you receive for the role. I may talk about that experience later, when the time comes. Or I may not. It’s starting to feel even more of a very personal journey. Not just for me. But mum too. So it more will likely be the part I won’t talk about here.
So the 2 hour window of emotions came on as soon as I knew I would take it on. I went from feeling good and happy, to sad. A quick headache appearing. Sadness turned to tears, for the reality biting more, that mum will never be as independent as I would like and the nursing home being only option where mum will be.
Mum’s Social Worker is supporting me where required. She advised how I could proceed, via two ways.
I could do it myself online, or if I find it difficult, then to use a solicitor, although extra costs would be involved.
I tried the link and looked at the forms and procedures, for where I could do it myself and it felt very daunting and I wasn’t feeling confident with it. So I enquired with two solicitors.
First one, after reading their email, regardless my savings would cover, my heart was sinking as I totalled the fees. Some of these fees could go up, or it was minus the VAT. I knew my dream home wouldn’t happen next year, because it was going to gobble most of my savings. (Although before all this, I wondered if it would happen anyway.) But now, it’s definitely not.
The second solicitor was more clearer than the first. There were no grey areas and would work out cheaper.
Still expensive. But cheaper and I was feeling very relaxed reading this email. So the happy face returned. So the second solicitor will get the job.
Yes, it may cost more this way than trying it myself. But it will be less stressful and I will feel reassured. I can concentrate on other things.
I was going to buy Christmas presents this year, for friends. But now, I think I have to give it a miss this year. So I hope you are reading this, so you are all aware. It saves me letting you know individually. So let’s just stick with Christmas cards again.
This is going to be a slow process. So I need to focus on this, instead of shopping for presents. I know you, my friends will understand.
© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.
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