Weird… Strange…

I have been classed weird, or strange over the years. These times are rare when they happen and when they do, it’s usually by people who don’t know me at all.

Regardless that this can still hurt when I hear this. I don’t care what they think, when they don’t know me.

I don’t automatically let anyone in. I have to know you first, then slowly the walls will go down. Depending on how much I trust you, or how much you are involved in my life will depend on whether I partly let you in, or fully let you in.

But if you do something that knocks that trust away, then the walls quickly go up and are not likely to come down for you.

When you see someone who you think is weird, or strange, rather than think that say hello and see what happens. Chances are you will get an hello back, with a smile. You don’t know their background that makes them like that. For me, I had fear of dad growing up. I was bullied at school from late junior school age and all through comprehensive. So I don’t give trust easily. I stand back and observe you, seeing what you are like. You are either going to be a person who I think may be ok. Or you may be some I don’t want to know, or don’t feel comfortable around, because how you come across. I am more cautious of men, then women, because I have been in an abusive relationship and then another relationship who years later after splitting up with him, found out what a person he was like that he was hiding and so I will never go out with a man. But if I have a man just as a friend, then it means I have trusted you as a friend. But regardless of trust, I would still never go out with a man. Being single is the way I will go. I would never be intimate again. The idea makes me sick. I have done more as a single person, than in a relationship.

So next time you are thinking someone is strange, or weird. Rather than call them up front, or behind their backs, ask yourself why that might be? Say hello because you want to be a friend, otherwise walk away and leave that person alone. They have enough to possibly contend with.

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

A quick thank you

A quick thank you to those already following my new blog, Liz’s Onward Journey at https://lizsonwardjourney.blogspot.com/

I really appreciate you following me at my new blog. So thank you. Also thank you for commenting there too.

The latest posts that are there, are chit-chat posts and the weekend posts I write, along with others I feel compelled to write at the time. So if you like to keep up to date with me and my life, then that’s where I will be.

Here, there are no posts until 30th September where I will just be announcing of a blogging break and other details regarding posts to come. The posts to come here, after my blogging break, are posts already scheduled in December. Then thats it. The end here.

For further information what I plan to do with this blog and regarding the new one, you will find details in the sticky post. This sticky post always stays at the top, regardless of new posts.

Quotes/mantras

Started off as quotes, but I think they have become my mantras.

It is what it is.

It is what it is – What my friend Sarah gave me last year and I have been using this saying ever since.
I didn’t think at the beginning just how powerful these words would become to me. Thank you, Sarah.

No looking back.

No looking back – My mantra I have been using more of this year.

I have had other quotes that have helped me get through difficult times, but these two are what I now currently use the most.
I know these will go into next year, hence I used my mantra for my bi-line of my new blog.

I will write these on my whiteboard, in place of what I had before.

What are your quotes/mantras?


My new blog:

https://lizsonwardjourney.blogspot.com


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

Quiet

I like to have quiet, but as you know I have been watching a lot of dvd’s for some time now.
Most times, watching dvd’s has been from afternoon, to quiet late. But because I have been having some quieter evenings; dvd’s not going into the late evening, or not at all, I am noticing how my hamster, Daz, comes out in his surroundings, (his cage,) slightly earlier than he would before. And this I have noticed is because its been quiet. So Daz likes quiet too.

I will leave you with a couple of photos of Daz, that I have shared before.


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

Blog post re-share: Dear WordPress

My feelings exactly.

This, That, and The Other

I just sent this screed below to the “too bad, so sad” response I got from the Happiness Engineers at WordPress. I know it won’t do any good, and that I’m shouting into deaf ears, but I had to get it off my chest. If you’re a fan of the block editor, if you don’t use or don’t care about the hassle that the block editor is causing for those of us who blog using our smartphones, or if you are just sick and tired of  bloggers like me whining about being forced to use it, feel free to skip this post. I won’t be offended.

Dear WordPress,

I’m having trouble wrapping my head around WordPress’ strategy. You say that the classic editor available on the plugin in the Business Plan is the same one that is available at the wp-admin site. And you say that it was “built with…

View original post 554 more words

Mum’s words

I thought I already talked about how I value my mum’s words here. But looking through my posts it seems not and so it must have been a thought whether to write this, or not here. Or it might have been that I mentioned this when commenting at another bloggers blog. I can’t remember. But I certainly cannot see anywhere where I have written it here on my blog, in the last 3 months.

Its also a difficult post for me to write. Given the situation now.

Anyway… I value mum’s words. I always have.
Mum writes poetry. Well used to. This has now stopped since she was sectioned last year and her writing now is squiggles of what looks like in the pattern of writing, or when words are formed, its scrambled, when I visit her at the care home.

Mum would always get me reading her poems after she had written them. But in the last few year’s, mum would get me reading them during her creation, as well as when she had finished for my opnions. Mum knew I wasn’t for poetry at that time. But reading hers was a different matter. Sometimes her poems would reflect God and so she would sometimes warn me prior. I would still read, but giving any further input than they were alright, I felt it wasn’t my place to do on those type of poems. But the other poems that were about anything else, I would, if mum wanted opinions. But I would like what I read and say they were alright, or good and anything else that I enjoyed about them.
Some of mum’s poems became humorous in the last few years

Some of my friends reading this blog, have read some of my mum’s poems and they have loved them too.
The care team that used to come to mum’s bungalow until she had to be sectioned would end up reading my mum’s poems. They enjoyed, but they were also fascinated in how she would be able to create these poems. Some poems, just like that. Spontaneous.

My mum’s creative side is definitely poems. But mum had one time sketched in a younger years, that one time she kept. There’s only one now that exists, that she did not throw away and that’s a sketch of her mum. The others she sketched were of some actors. One I remember being Adam West.
They were brilliant and I am not saying that cos she’s my mum. They were brilliant.

I take after mum for sketching. But sketching people I cannot do and its not my thing.
And I can’t do poems like my mum. (Although had written two I think, for a person I once loved. The only time I was inspired.)

Mum has also made beautiful handmade cards and got that much into it, that she made more than me. Mum stopped because of her hands. I gave her suggestions for alternate ways, to show she did not need to give up her hobby. But she did.

Now mum’s words are nearly gone, I value mum’s words even more and her poems.

But last year, before mum became sectioned, a particular notebook of poems that mum had written and had promised to me, she had sent to some nuns. I was speechless. All I could do was nod and smile, while inside I was breaking further. I was in tears when I left, to go to work. Mum always spoke of that when I would get this notebook, I could get them published if I wanted. When she wasn’t around. I said I would like to see them published, while you are alive.

Not long after mum became sectioned, a nun had written to my mum to thank her for the poem book and money. I am not going to say how much she gave to them here. But it was a lot and first I knew of this. Mum did not mention that part to me and it was the hugest amount of money she has given away, in her vulnerable state.

Not so long ago, I written to the nuns, asking for mum’s notebook of poems back. Explaining what has been going on with my mum and how she became sectioned not long after and so mum has never seen this letter of thanks from them.  And why I would like mum’s poem book back and what the notebook looked like.

I thought I’d would have left this too late. But I learnt that I hadn’t, when receiving a reply back from one of the Sister’s.

It turns out mum sent 3 notebooks of poems and the money was still there, untouched. They were hoping to find a way to get in touch some way with mum, or next of kin in what to do. Mum had said in a letter that they could publish her poems. But they were not able to do anything with these books, or money, so they were glad to hear from me.

I replies back and said I was surprised to hear of 3 poem notebooks being sent because of not finding any in mum’s belongings, as I expected mum had thrown them away, as she said she would when rewriting into the notebook I was aware of and described to them. I also understood if they felt uncomfortable keeping the money now, knowing the circumstances, but I was just after her notebook of poems, so to hear there be more, even more the precious. But if they were to hand the money back, it would go in mum’s purse, because right now, until I become deputy, means mum doesn’t have any money.

I will be travelling down soon, to meet up with one Sister, on an arranged day to pick up the 3 notebooks of poems, as well as possibility, the money.

I am feeling emotional, knowing I will be holding my mum’s poems, soon.


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

Wood carving

Now I may have asthma as an adult, but I do like the idea of one day wood carving.
I have always had an interest from a very young age (from late infant, or early junior school age) of wood carving. I put that down to always seeing my Uncle Joe at work in his shed, carving away.
I would have liked to have watched him longer than I did as a kid, just at the entrance of the shed door, while he was carving inside and asking questions about it. But I did not want to interupt him at his work, or feel I was getting in the way. Especially, because of dangerous machinery and sharp tools. It’s strange, but from a young age, I was very aware that they were dangerous to use, if not used right.

My uncle made beautiful carvings on tables and chairs he made, of mid tone, to dark shades of wood. He was always in there, when me and mum visited them both. (Family on mum’s side.)

My first taster of handling wood was first, or second year in comprehensive school. I remember I made just a simple plain wooden box. But couldn’t take it home. That was the only time I made something from wood and wood work was only for a very short time. (One school term.) A taster. No woodwork class was taught in any other year.

My idea of wood carving is doing it the traditional way of using hand tools. Just like my uncle Joe.

And just like this person, who made this lovely wooden carving:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W_jaHdj0kyc

As I mentioned in a couple of posts, I bought a Dremel multi-tool, for engraving some of mum’s belongings. But I know this could be used for crafting too. But I am not likely to go that route for this tool, as my heart and love is for using hand tools, for wood carving.

Are you a wood carver, or make things out of wood?

Now whether you as a wood crafter and use a traditional hand tool, or a multi-tool, like a Dremel, when it comes to making things out of wood, I would love to hear from you.
Please share what you have made in this post, in the comments below.
Maybe you share your woodwork on your blog? If you do, then please talk about what you have made and share a blog post, to one of your makings.

Anything to do with making something from wood, I would love to hear.


Please note, this blog is coming to an end. Further details can be found here, including link to my new blog.


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated.

Now on block editor

Now on block editor. 😢

I hope to update accordingly on my mum in Chit-chat September post. If I do have any update. But until then, I have lots of scheduled posts through till end of December.

Any new posts I was planning on writing in between, are not going to happen here now. So Chit-chat September and onwards, the weekend posts I write and, Fibbing Friday, when I join in and whatever else I write will now be at my new blog, on blogger. So if you want to be kept up to date, I will see you there with those.

For link to new blog, you will have to see my sticky post. (The post that stays at the top, regardless of new posts.)

I am not wanting my mum to be at current care home

After me visiting the current care home several times, I have come to the decision I no longer want my mum at this care home. I have already made my feelings known to the social worker, that I would like the original care homes suggested to be sought and my mum to go in one of them.

I didn’t want to move my mum originally as you knew, as she looked settled, but after now visiting numerous times, I am not comfortable with this care home, in looking after her now.

As well as the communication remaining poor via email, no one really communicates with you when you visit. Messages are not being passed on, or they are not being dealt with. One latest communication issue is affecting mum getting some money she is entitled to, that I can act on now.

Here, is not like I have experienced at two other different care homes elsewhere , where I once visited aunties and the welcoming reception you got there every time. There is only one care staff member at this current care home that has communicated in a way that you feel comfortable at the care home you visit and the confidence in care. I don’t get that with anyone else and I don’t see him every time. There is no vibe with this place. There is no homely feeling. There is no fussing.

The one care staff I felt there was a connection with, asked questions about my mum, to get to know her, as well as me. No other staff member has done that and I feel more questions should be asked, that hasn’t been asked, like her religion. That’s important to mum, regardless how I feel about it. The care home remains a stranger to me.

Also, I am concerned if mum is receiving sufficient fluids. In all the visits to this care home, where I spent the afternoon there, it was only the first time mum was offered a drink and that was because they made me one.

I wonder also if mum’s bedroom windows are left open all night. It’s getting colder some nights now.

I now want my mum moved and to be in one of the suggested care homes that mum once spoke of some years ago to me, that I mentioned to the social worker originally.
I won’t feel at rest, until mum is out of this one.

It turns out my neighbour who I am really close with, her mum was in one of these care homes and she was happy with the care mum received. She recommends either of these care homes, with them under same company.

But through latest email conversation yesterday with social worker, the care homes in question are very busy and she wondered if mum would settle in one of those and so suggested two others, but still left it with me if I still want mum in one of the care homes mum wanted.

Both the care homes suggested are ones mum has said no to in the past. We know both care homes in some way, as aunties have been in both, but one of the care homes me and my mum do know personally better and that’s because my mum’s sister was in there, until she passed away.
Now this care home I would be comfortable my mum being in, because they looked after my auntie (mum’s sister) very well and fussed over her.
I always felt welcomed from day one and you felt like the care home and the staff in it were like your extended family.
Even months in, I still witnessed care staff asking questions to get to know my auntie.

Now compared to when me and, mum one time had care home discussions before mum became mentally unwell and now, I do agree with the social worker from observations I have seen with my mum at current care home, that a busy environment is not going to help my mum feel settled. I have seen how my mum has reacted when in her bedroom, when all of a sudden, its got noisy outside. Mum looks aggitated slightly by it. So I am going to have to go against mum’s wishes and go with the social workers suggestion of care home that my mum’s sister was in, as knowing that my mum’s preferred care home is busy and I wondered myself if it was busy, would in the current situation, not ideal for mum. 

It will be a couple of weeks before social worker can start acting on it, as she is on annual leave. But I hope once back she kick starts it asap.


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)