Merry Christmas to my blogging family and friends

I just wanted to leave a post to wish you all a Merry Christmas and Best Wishes for the New Year.

Thank you for your wishes and not forgetting me while I have been taking my blogging break. I will see you in the New Year. x

Snowman holding a present with a house and Christmas tree in the background. A snowy scene. With the words Merry Christmas.

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Chit-chat – catch up. (Final post for 2017.)

D.I.Y. Retreats

Since last post I written on a D.I.Y. retreat, I plan to create another one sometime before December. My next ones after will be the New year sometime and when ever I feel I need to do one, which will be at least every couple of months.
I know creating these compared to just having time-out, I really benefit from these because of creating a schedule of some kind. Knowing the benefits I get from doing these will come in handy when there are times I cannot afford a holiday, or simply on a day trip.

Tooth out

I had my tooth out finally, a couple of days later from when I unfortunately learnt of my cousin and her husband’s death. I made sure that I did nothing on the day my tooth was removed as advised, but also the day after. I allowed myself to sleep when needed. The tooth came out successfully, but I continued taking my paracetamol as I did have some discomfort from it. I was surprised that I did not feel self-conscious about this missing tooth, compared to the tooth itself, which I was. I go back later for impression to be taken and then back to a later appointment for fitting of this false tooth.

Linkedin

I have closed my Linkedin account as I felt my opinions using this remained the same, after trying it. In no way did I feel Linkedin helped me towards searching, or getting a job. Suggestions of jobs were mostly nothing I was after and when they were, they were not anywhere near me. I know I want to move, but the distance of some of these jobs were impossible. Searching for jobs I used my usual ways and at no point did I need to use Linkedin. As for job I did get, see below.

Job update

I heard from one of the two jobs I last applied for and I went for a job interview, which went well and they were impressed with me. There were more to be interviewed though that day and on another day the following week, but they did say when I would know by, whether I got the job or not.
They made my interview accessible to me, by making sure they spoke to me while facing me and not covering their mouths and I felt comfortable with them and hopeful that my disability would not be an issue with them. I learnt the day I was expecting to know, in the evening and I got the job. This is such a relief for me. The next step was filling in a form with medical details and I am awaiting on a further email to confirm when I can actually put my notice in. So when I am back to blogging next year, I should be able to give you a quick update on how things are in the new job.
Again, like with my job before, I won’t be exactly saying in detail where I am working, other than it’s another cleaning job. It’s in the next town from me and I hope that if another position ever came free in a morning, that I would also be able to apply for that too and build up my hours. Until then, I need to be flexible and cover mornings when required, so my pet business plans are on hold. But I don’t mind this and I still plan to continue with my pet study course, as it could still be useful in the future.

My hand

As you know when I last gave an update about my hand, I did not get all my results back. This meant I only knew about my blood test, but not the x-ray.
I continue to take my vitamin D supplement, which I will continue to do until spring arrives.
I have finally received my x-ray results back and everything is fine, so I did not need any follow-up appointment. I still have some discomfort, but it is much better than it was and it doesn’t cause much of a problem.

Volunteering

I still and will continue to volunteer for Ashfield Play forum, while I can, but I have called it a day at LEAP (REBOOT.) I decided to finish earlier than planned from due to  family bereavement. But also, if I can, I plan to get involved in any way I can to help in regards to bringing down the speed limit on the road, that killed them. I have written to the person concerned at a Parish Council, who has been trying for the last 14 years to bring the speed limit down, so it’s all the same, as it varies at different parts of this road.

Driving lessons

I have my further driving lessons to come, since passing theory and hopefully I will have more news on how I got on with this, next year.

Last post of 2017

This will be my last post of 2017 and I will see you all in the New Year.

I need to take time out and get my head together. During this time, I will rarely be checking for any comments on my blog, but when I do, I will publish and reply at times.
As for my emails, I am not going to be available there much. I don’t know how often I will check them, so please bear with me. (I will be activating some kind of automatic away announcement.) As for my close friends who I see personally, I suggest you message me via Facebook, for a quicker response.

Christmas

My Christmas tree I still plan to put up, which it is going up in memory of my aunt Mona. These who have followed my blog for some time will know it did not go up last year, as it was a very difficult time prior and leading up to her passing away on New Years Eve. When New Years Eve approaches, it may be difficult again, on top of the above and bring unexpected emotions, but it will remain lit day and night when I am at home.

Stay safe everyone and I will see you some time next year.

Double heartbreak

As you know from my last post, I had heartbreak on the Sunday when discovering two family members died. A friend came to take me down to where flowers had already been laid, so I could see for myself what I had read. I can’t believe I won’t be seeing their smiles no more. That is what I will remember first about them; their smiles. I used to stay over when I was a kid, either at the weekend, or for a few weeks. I loved my time with them.

R.I.P. Sandra and Michael.

You were both taken too soon. You were not ready to go yet, as you had many more years to enjoy together.

“You were much-loved by me as you know and it comes as a shock to me and my mum; Doreen, that you have gone. You have been taken early. I find this so hard to take that you both won’t be around smiling. May you be together and smile down on the people you loved.

Love Elizabeth and Doreen Fisher”

flowers and note I left

Another D.I.Y. retreat. (With sadness.)

I had another D.I.Y. retreat, last Saturday to Sunday, to give myself some self-care and timeout after issues at work, the PIP assessment that I worked myself up over prior and in preparation for when I had my extraction on my tooth. I allowed myself access to technology this time, but it was limited and my mobile phone remained on, in case of emergencies.

My menu was how I originally planned it, before I knew I was going to do one and although I had a schedule for the two days, I did not plan it out into too much details as in regards to the time for everything.

Saturday schedule

  • Breakfast – 8.30am
  • Read a book for an hour or so. (10 mins on internet)
  • “Dance That Walk Cardio Party” DVD – 10.30am (an hour)
  • Lunch – 12.30
  • DVD: “Don’t be afraid of the dark,” followed by reflect and then relax with a book till dinner.
  • Dinner – 6.30pm
  • Relax in bath before bed, at 9pm. (I also used one of my face masks at this point, while in bath.)

Saturday menu

  • Cereals at breakfast
  • Lunchtime: Quorn balls with tinned tomatoes, tinned chickpeas and mixed veg. (Serve what I need and separate the rest into portions to freeze later when cool.)
  • Sardine sandwich at dinner

 

Sunday schedule

  • Breakfast – 8.30am (I stayed in bed till 9.30am, so breakfast was about 10am.)
  • Free time in, or out.
  • Lunch 12.30
  • DVD: “Exit Wounds.”

My Sunday schedule then stopped, because I was heartbroken. I seen on my timeline about a couple that died in Meden Vale, but names had not been announced. After looking online at my local paper, the names were announced; Sandra and Michael Dangerfield. They were apparently died at the scene, after a collision with a car. I am devastated. A good friend of mine took me to where flowers had already been laid, as in the news link above. I had to see for myself. There was a photo of them both with someone else. This confirmed for me they had both gone. They were taken too soon and I hope the investigation going on uncovers what happened there.

When I arrived home, I just spent a bit of time on Facebook, while having a scented candle lit and mugs of tea.

Sunday menu

  • Cereals at breakfast
  • Jacket potato with parsnip and veg, for lunch.
  • Just a scone I could stomach and a few mugs of tea, due to above mentioned.

 

 

PIP assessment

Yesterday’s post did not mention my PIP assessment I had, as I did not want to drag away from what I was feeling that night in the previous post. It was a long day for me yesterday, as I was up at 5.45am. I was going to get up at 6am, but when I woke up then, I thought I’d get up. I was surprised I wasn’t tired with lack of sleep, but obviously, by the end of the night, I was knackered and drained by the time of the work scenario.
I was up early, as I had to compensate setting out earlier than normal as mum was coming with me this time. So I wasn’t alone.
When we arrived in Nottingham and literally around the corner from the place of where the assessment would take hold, we had a hot drink and a little something to eat, till it was nearer to time for my appointment. I did not lose my way this time and for going the right way this time, I could see there was more options to visit till appointment time. The cafe we had chosen was Tuckers, which was opposite the Kitty Cafe. The staff were nice and welcoming and we actually went back there after my assessment for lunch, before making our way home.

As you will know, I have been worried about the PIP assessment due to not feeling that the form suits people with a hearing loss. Also from what I have read and heard from people affected directly with regards to it, in which people who are entitled, lose it. On top of that, as you know, the first time it was cancelled and I did not know until I arrived there, in which I found it was them who tried to phone me, even though my PIP form clearly stated to only use my mobile number for texting, as deaf. They also did not book my Lipspeaker. So I had every right to feel concerned about this appointment.

After signing myself in and meeting my Lipspeaker, the first call was the toilet for me, then we made our way downstairs to wait in a private waiting room outside the room where I would be assessed. While waiting for my turn to be assessed, it was a chat with my Lipspeaker to get to know one another with not meeting her before and for her to know how I would like her to help me, finding out if I knew any sign and if I wanted her to use that too.

The assessment

When it was time to go in the room, I pointed to the chair for my mum to sit at and I sat next to her, facing my Lipspeaker and the woman who was to be assessing me. After the formalities were out-of-the-way, in which I decided I wanted to see if I could lipread and hear the assessor first and if not, then I would look at my Lipspeaker, for her to repeat what she had said.
I found the assessor had a tone of voice that was right for me, but there were times after trying to lipread her for a while that I did end up using the Lipspeaker to get it repeated. When my mum spoke to add her part, I relied on the Lipspeaker to tell me what she had said every time, as she was sat a little further back from me and I can’t lipread sideways on, on top that I don’t hear my mum as well now.
Some questions were a repeat that were already on the PIP form and some were new. This gave me a chance to add, or amend anything by doing this. Every time the assessor spoke to me, she always looked at me directly so I could see her face. She never covered it and when she asked some certain questions about my hearing loss, I felt with this and making sure she always looked at me when she spoke that she had awareness. I have read how some assessors have not been helpful and done tests that were not acceptable towards deaf, but I have never received anything in the assessment room that was not acceptable. She only asked questions, nothing else.
My assessment was under an hour and although it was relaxing in the room, I wasn’t fully relaxed because of questions I would know that would possibly come, when it came to talking about my depression and anxiety. I thought more questions were going to be asked than that with regards to my depression, so just when I thought I may not hold it  together on the subject she asked me, it was on to a different topic.
I did have tears in my eyes after a particular question about how I feel and why. I don’t know if it may have been obvious to her. It’s not nice saying how you truly feel in front of your own mum, that you wish you were dead and that I have thought these thoughts, I just not acted on them. I just instead wished that when I went to bed to sleep at night, that I did not wake up the next day.

My opinions after my own PIP assessment

As I have mentioned, staff are pleasant and so is the assessor. The environment was relaxing and welcoming, even though I was not relaxed. The assessor always looked at me when she asked me questions and never ever covered here face. She even used some sign herself when she spoke, which was nice. I have the confidence that what I said, is down on those notes, but because of how I feel about the PIP application process, I still wonder whether I will get it. The waiting will be long, because of the back log, so it will be many weeks before I know anything, so until then my DLA continues, till they make their mind up at DPW.

Hoping 2

Last time I written a post about hope, was just over a month ago and I hope again. I am feeling desperate after another work night and as I write this, I am trying to calm my anxiety down. I am upset, feeling nausea and I can feel a migraine coming on, so as soon as I air this, I am off to bed. I shall let my cat sleep with me, as I know she senses my upset. She was upset from what she picked up, but is happy on my lap as I write this now.

I am hoping I can get through the next 2 days at work, then it is a long weekend. A very long one, due to having my tooth out next week.

I am hoping to get through tomorrow morning, when I visit someone who would like a small favour. Then I am hoping I get through my shift, later that day, and the next day, as already mentioned.
I would like to phone in sick, but this would be awkward to do, I think on so many levels. Not me. Them.

I am hoping I can be myself on Friday, because I have a job interview.
I am thankful I have this interview alone, but I am hoping (and desperate for this job.) My mum says to try to not get my hopes up, but I can’t help it and I am desperate. I really need this break. If I am unlucky to get this job, I would apply again if it ever came up. I would not give up. But I am hoping I will get this. I don’t know what I would do if I did not.

That’s my hoping for now.

A bit of Vitamin D continued

I decided after the previous post; ‘A bit of Vitamin D’, to take supplements. This was after from further reading on other websites after the one I shared at the end of that post.
It influenced me because of knowing how it is getting at that time of the year when we won’t be seeing much sun and for me to have had it already, I thought I would take the recommended dose of 10 micrograms. Although I eat food that contains it, I’m not getting enough obviously and at times I have slacked in this area with some of the foods it recommends for vitamin D, so this is why I changed my mind. But I am only taking it from now till end of winter, as by when the weather comes round nice again, hopefully I will get it from the sun and with the food as well hopefully stay at a good level. But I may have to bear in mind I may be one of those that has to take it in autumn and winter again.
I went to Holland and Barrett and bought the appropriate dosage. They only cost £3.59 for 100 tablets, so I don’t think that is a bad price.

Further reading :

Guidelines on vitamin D, will take you NHS Choices website

Holland and Barrett Vitamin D3 Tablets 10ug