Nature Heals

I have been at my mum’s the past two nights, as I have been painting her bedroom walls and ceiling. I go home tonight and I shall do my own thing tomorrow, which will be a day at Southwell. So while at Southwell, I will no doubt look in Southwell Minster while there too.

This morning, while needing to do a couple of things, I also needed to be in nature, to refresh. So I went to Sutton Lawn. After calling in The Rumbles cafe and a wander around this park, I had a sit back on a bench I once sat on before and just take it all in for half an hour. This photo below, I taken from this very bench I sat at, a couple of years back, which I shared in a post.

Photo taken while still sat on bench

The photos below, I took today from the same spot and very near by, when I started making my way back in town.


Nature heals and I needed it this morning.

The need to walk

I like to walk.
I’m used to walking far, because in the past I had no choice but to walk in all weathers because I had no money for buses. (Before I was deaf and eligible for a bus pass.)
Walking helps me to get rid of any built-up tension and I feel good.
If I don’t walk like I usually do for some time, I find my legs tell me so. I still have times my joints tell me so when I am walking, but it’s worser for not. So I’m better off walking.
Walking keeps me physically and mentally fit as I can be. If I slack, I will know about it.

I’ve had the urge to run as you know and I still do, but I don’t seemed to have progressed to the running part yet, due to what’s been happening, but also motivation. But getting myself to walk, never fails me.

Some people don’t understand the need for me to walk, what ever the distance. I find these tend to be the ones who are either car drivers, or rely on lifts regular. Some of them have admitted they can’t be bothered to walk, especially after a shift at work. Sometimes I feel I can’t be bothered after a shift too, but I still walk home, except for one night per week, where I may have a ride on the bus back home.
If I start to be a regular passenger in a car and keep accepting lifts on a daily basis, I soon start to feel fidgety. I have to walk at some point in my day, whether it 30 minutes, or longer. I don’t care. I’m happy and I feel free when I am at least walking.
This freeness also stems from my childhood as I once blogged about here, in the past. I used to then, when old enough to be by myself, walk some distances in fields with my dog, just to escape my troubles from home and the bullying at school. I loved being out there with him, what ever the weather.

Walking will never get boring for me. šŸ™‚

Being a carer…

Being a carer is not easy…

It’s emotionally draining.

It’s physically draining.

But regardless, it can be rewarding.


Those that have been, or are caregivers to family members, or friends, will understand the above. As for my situation, while mum is in a mental health care place, I am dealing with her personal affairs, checking on her home, supporting her, while dealing with my own affairs and concerns.

It is just me. I am all mum has. I am her only daughter.

I am broken at times and bounce back. But I wonder how long I will last in this current situation, until me and mum are living together.

I am still trying to get an additional job to ease my financial situation.

I could list further worries, but this is more concerning my mum and that part is private to her.

Are you an unpaid carer?

Just wondering, especially if you live in the UK, are you an unpaid carer? Please do share your experiences.

I have been a carer on and off to some degree since my teens. All this has been unpaid, as a carer. I have just automatically done it. Neither of us have asked for help.
But since my mum took that overdose just three weeks ago, yesterday, I have
uppedĀ the care I give and as you know, the plan is to get mum to live with me in a council flat. So the council list I am on, has been updated accordingly and I had a form to fill in regarding my my mum’s needs, as you know. So after the council have dealt with the form accordingly, means the banding will get changed accordingly. Hopefully for the better.

I have looked into being paid as a carer, through advice of family members. But I am entitled to nothing, because mum’s DLA is low mobility. Mum needs to be on medium to high care on DLA to get this. No way will I expect mum to go through the hell’s of PIP, just for me to get carer allowance. So as I have said to my family that advised me to apply for carers allowance, I can’t get it, stating the reasons why, but nevertheless, I will manage. We will manage.
I know just by me and mum living together, I won’t struggle as I do now. If anytime social workers, or whoever responsible in mum’s care says for mum to apply for PIP, I will say mum is fine what she has. Mum is better being on DLA on little she has then lose it altogether because of the shambling with PIP where a person will just say mum is fine and then she lose what she had. I have not forgotten the stress of it and how it made me feel, when I applied. (I was on DLA for life originally, but had to apply for PIP, because I was in the criteria affected in the change of DLA to PIP.) I won’t put my mum through that. My mum would not cope with that process and, the effects it would cause from that don’t affect social workers and decision makers at the end of the day. They get to go home and play happy families. But it affects my mum and me, because I would get the brunt of seeing my mum’s aggitation and whatever else, as well as how my mum will be feeling and the unknowns of what is whirling around in her head. My priority is keeping mum safe and knowing she is well, while being independent as possible.

Share your views as an unpaid carer.

It amazes me how exhausting it can be

As I mentioned in the comments of this post,Ā Hopefully all is fine, my mum has lost her bed on the mental health unit today, because she will be in hospital for a further five days.
Tests have shown mum has flu and because she was on a mental health ward prior, like any ward, it’s about not spreading it, so mum is on the hospital ward accordingly as she gets over this.
It’s antibiotics and oxygen through the nose still and when she is discharged, it will be back to the mental health team to find her a bed in a mental health unit.
As I said in the comments on the above post, she’s been laughing and joking still and I have been laughing and joking back.

I have also had a day of fatigue again. Not as bad as before. Felt worse first thing and crappy, which then eased off. But still tired. I said to mum I wouldn’t be there tomorrow. Instead, I am staying at home until I go to work, leaving the home slightly earlier, so I can pick up my prescription from the chemist on the way.
I have warned my mum also that if I am not there Friday, then not to panic, as I will have chosen to stay at home again. But regardless how I am Saturday, I will see her. IĀ can’t believe how this is knocking me out.Ā 

I am hoping with mum discharged, that it doesn’t affect the form I filled for why mum needs to live with me. I guess this is still all valid, because of the short time being there.
I hope also there is no set back with my mum’s mental health. But going by today,Ā  it doesn’t seem the case.

Mum was worried about my tiredness. I reassured it would be much easier when we are both in the same place. But I also told her how the effect on me when discovering she had overdosed, did not hit me till later, because prior to that, I was just on autopilot sorting out her affairs, as well as my own. So I have only just getting my head around that.

I dread to think what could have happened, if I did not choose to check on mum that day. Had I not, then I would have been waiting for mum to arrive at mine, for lunch, which would have been another two days later. But I try not to think about it, because mum is here and I did luckily go.

Thank you to you all, that have left me supportive comments over posts, since all this happened.

Hopefully all is fine

Today, when I went to see mum, I found she wasn’t there at the mental health unit. Instead, mum was sent to A&E. Mum had a fall in the early hours, but she was ok from that. They sent my mum instead because of her being chesty and having a temperature. Not because of her fall. They said they sent me an email early in the morning. (This email never arrived until the evening.) So after looking for mum on A&E to see if she was still there, or on a ward, I found her to be on an emergency assessment unit.
Mum will be there for a day, or two, to be observed, while on oxygen and antibiotics. The nurse thinks this could be linked to her overdose and the time she was unconscious. If all is fine in this day or two, them mum will be back in the mental health unit.

Mum was happy and joking and I was joking back. Me and mum were certainly both on form today, compared to yesterday. (SeeĀ Today was a hard day) I am hoping all will be fine and that this is just a precaution.

You are not a burden

Depending on your circumstances, you may feel a burden to others. This could be because of a mental health, or physical health issue.

But you are not a burden.

My mum doesn’t want to be a burden. She had expressed this to me and staff members. But hopefully, by listening to me and the staff members on the ward where she is, that my mum realises that she won’t be.

From what mum told me recently, a staff member that had spoken to her, to put a long conversation short, she said, “… Mum was there for me and now it was time for me to be there for her…”

I said to mum, “By being with me, I won’t worry as much as I would have, if you were still living on your own.
I need you close to know you are ok. To support you when required, while you continue to be as independent as possible.
I want you to feel safe.”

I have had a couple say that it’s a big then by getting my mum to live with me. I am in no way offended by that comment. But when I was told by A&E staff that my mum was very unwell and to be prepared I could lose her, this decision of me and mum to live together was not a hard decision to make. In fact I did not need to think about it.

If my mum one day has to go back to her bungalow, before the time comes to us living together, I will be feeling very uneasy. I will be scared that my mum could do it again.
Mum has promised she won’t take an overdose again, because she knows how much it has hurt me. My mum can see how much it has hurt me. But the mental health team, like me, as they talk to her, need to know that when it gets difficult again, that she doesn’t try it again. There will be more talking by the different mental health team members in some way, while her medication is adjusted. The mental health team can see my mum will be better with me, then on her own. Mum has admitted that going back to her bungalow, she is not thrilled on, even though one point my mum wasn’t thrilled about staying in, after admitting her overdose.

When a family member wants to help some way, or for you to live with them for what ever reason. You are not a burden.

You may be reading this and in a position yourself where a family member has asked you to live with them and you are thinking you don’t want to be a burden to them. I would like to say that you would not be a burden, because you will be a much-loved family member. To them, you gave them support. You were there in their time of difficulties. You gave them joy and so all they want is to support you and help you in what ever way.

You are not a burden.


Related posts: