Another D.I.Y. retreat. (With sadness.)

I had another D.I.Y. retreat, last Saturday to Sunday, to give myself some self-care and timeout after issues at work, the PIP assessment that I worked myself up over prior and in preparation for when I had my extraction on my tooth. I allowed myself access to technology this time, but it was limited and my mobile phone remained on, in case of emergencies.

My menu was how I originally planned it, before I knew I was going to do one and although I had a schedule for the two days, I did not plan it out into too much details as in regards to the time for everything.

Saturday schedule

  • Breakfast – 8.30am
  • Read a book for an hour or so. (10 mins on internet)
  • “Dance That Walk Cardio Party” DVD – 10.30am (an hour)
  • Lunch – 12.30
  • DVD: “Don’t be afraid of the dark,” followed by reflect and then relax with a book till dinner.
  • Dinner – 6.30pm
  • Relax in bath before bed, at 9pm. (I also used one of my face masks at this point, while in bath.)

Saturday menu

  • Cereals at breakfast
  • Lunchtime: Quorn balls with tinned tomatoes, tinned chickpeas and mixed veg. (Serve what I need and separate the rest into portions to freeze later when cool.)
  • Sardine sandwich at dinner

 

Sunday schedule

  • Breakfast – 8.30am (I stayed in bed till 9.30am, so breakfast was about 10am.)
  • Free time in, or out.
  • Lunch 12.30
  • DVD: “Exit Wounds.”

My Sunday schedule then stopped, because I was heartbroken. I seen on my timeline about a couple that died in Meden Vale, but names had not been announced. After looking online at my local paper, the names were announced; Sandra and Michael Dangerfield. They were apparently died at the scene, after a collision with a car. I am devastated. A good friend of mine took me to where flowers had already been laid, as in the news link above. I had to see for myself. There was a photo of them both with someone else. This confirmed for me they had both gone. They were taken too soon and I hope the investigation going on uncovers what happened there.

When I arrived home, I just spent a bit of time on Facebook, while having a scented candle lit and mugs of tea.

Sunday menu

  • Cereals at breakfast
  • Jacket potato with parsnip and veg, for lunch.
  • Just a scone I could stomach and a few mugs of tea, due to above mentioned.

 

 

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Blog post share: Cool your Anger

Great post of ideas, for anger, when you are fed up or on edge. 🙂

Discovering Your Happiness

Below are some pointers on cooling your anger + ways to go about really calming our emotions when we are angry,

When You’re Arguing

  • Make it a priority to respond kindly/respectfully
  • Focus on breathing slowly + deeply
  • Politely excuse yourself from the area/room, get some space
  • Accept that you won’t get through to someone and inwardly wish them peace
  • Ask yourself if this is worth the energy
  • Notice you are angry, imagine yourself feeling forgiving
  • Put yourself in the other person’s shoes
  • breathe when you want to yell or raise your voice
  • Emulate how you think someone peaceful would respond

When You’re On Edge

  • Spray a calming smell
  • Pet an animal
  • Watch/Listen to a comedy
  • Go for a walk/run
  • Take a nap
  • Eat a delicious meal
  • Spend time in nature
  • Allow yourself to laugh
  • Make a joke or read one
  • Close your eyes, focus on being quiet
  • Write down your…

View original post 92 more words

Self Care Ideas for Bad Days

For those of us that have bad days. Let’s try these suggestions. 🙂

Discovering Your Happiness

It’s okay to have ‘off’ days 🙂 you are human + this is normal.

When we do feel this way, the below list could really help the way you feel.

  1. Take a bubble bath
  2. Read a good book
  3. Read a personal development book
  4. Read a fun magazine
  5. Have a solo dance party
  6. Listen to an inspirational podcast
  7. Paint your nails
  8. List 10 things you’re grateful for
  9. Play with a pet
  10. Try a guided meditation
  11. Play a board game
  12. Watch the clouds
  13. Stargaze outside
  14. Take three deep breaths
  15. Unfollow negative people on social media
  16. Unplug from technology for an hour
  17. Do a legs up the wall yoga pose (you just lie down on the floor next to the wall and put your legs up vertically on the wall)
  18. Take a cat nap
  19. Watch a funny movie or TV show
  20. Wear your pajamas all day
  21. Say positive affirmations
  22. Get dressed up for…

View original post 16 more words

Do I sound confused, not settled, or just full of options?

I am not happy at times and I can get frustrated, wanting a ‘get out card’ option to be in another job that I enjoy again and where I feel appreciated. It’s clear to me I don’t want to be where I am no more and I have never felt so sure, but I am not in a situation where I can just hand in my notice while I have no other job to go into.

I still have that mind frame where I just want to start afresh; to live in a new area. This gets more stronger when I feel low or depressed.
So if I was to be in a job I felt worthy of, would I still want to get out of the area completely?
I can’t completely answer this, other than if I was not in a job I felt that sucked out my self-esteem, my confidence, my energy and, where I don’t feel me and instead in a job where I felt valued, I know I would feel a completely different person and I would be happier. I know that I would feel that I had more of a balanced life; work I love, my alone time and around friends who I enjoy their company of. But whether that feeling of getting out of Nottinghamshire was still there, I am not sure.
If I could choose where I wanted to live exactly, Brighton comes to mind every time. But this seems an impossible task to achieve currently, because living there seems expensive, but also, how do you move so far away when you need a home. But to get a home, you need a job and vice versa.
The other area where I nearly moved to once, as you know, was Derby, after applying for a job. (But I had no luck with.) This area still stands. There is also another area I like, in Notts, but I am not willing to share with anyone yet what that one is. But it wouldn’t be far away.

I have shared with you in the past my feelings in different situations like work, the feeling of getting out. Also, new plans I hope to do that I felt set with and still do, but then I look again at the other options on top.

Do I come across to my readers as confused, not settled, or just full of options?

Which ever route I take, it is not going to happen quickly as I like and this frustrates me and it can make me feel low and depressed. I know I also feel unsettled and I wish I could permanently shake this off until I am somewhere I feel valued and playing my part.

A trigger that can still catch me out

A trigger that can still catch me out, is when I am accused of something I have not done, that is of a serious nature. I can quickly show my anger as the response I feel brewing inside of me is so strong. This is because of when I was a child, I was once accused by a close family member of taking money from a particular place that she had. Looking back on my very earlier blog posts where I talked about my childhood, I thought I had raised this there, but I don’t seemed to have. I can see why I chosen not to do it, to protect the person. I still am, hence using the word ‘close family member.’ But that person, knows how to this day that accusation has affected me. Who ever I shop for, it doesn’t matter, I will still always come back with a receipt. It’s my protection.

Now recently, another same situation cropped up at work. (Not to do with money, but instead a key.) It wasn’t aimed directly at me, just the department I work for which I will call A. The people throwing this accusation were where I get the key from, which I will call B. It was B’s fault, because from the week before when it was signed back in, at some point it went missing and they did not have anything to show in their book who had it. No one in A had it at the start of the week and it is not needed by us at the weekend. But no, like before, B like to blame A.

Now although I know it was not aimed directly at me, my response and how I felt inside was the same as it would have been, had I been accused. Like they did when this happened before. They decided it was someones fault I found later, from our department, but that person never had that key, because he wasn’t given that one and this person has the proof. But because I knew they were throwing the same trick as they did to me, it got me angry and pent-up. I let my department know what was going off and they were not happy to hear of this happening. (I hope they have done something about it.)
From telling them, I thought that as well as letting them know what was going on, that also it would undo all the pent-up anger I had inside me. Did it heck.

When I was home I focused on my cat, did mindfulness drinking of my tea and lit a scented candle, which after doing this, I was 90% better. I then decided to go to bed early, to switch off, but when I got up the next morning, my body was telling me about it from how I was the day before; painful joints, feeling tired and a little tense.
I went out to focus on my studies and I drank my latte mindfully. Eventually, I was mindfully better, but I still had to contend with my pains and tiredness for the rest of the day.

I know, through the help of my counselling I had that time, that I am now aware that these feelings I have when I hear of accusations like this, whether directly at me, or at A, are the same emotions I felt from my childhood. This, along with the injustice of it all.
My response has reminded me, that there are still times when I have some work to do, to try to ease these emotions less.
I have to remind myself that whether against me, or others in A, that for my own health, I have to try and keep this stress minimal as I can. By doing so, I won’t have the side effects afterwards in my body, where I am tired and having joint pain. But this is going to be hard, I know.

If you can relate and you have tips to share, that are different from what I am practising, then please share.