Weird… Strange…

I have been classed weird, or strange over the years. These times are rare when they happen and when they do, it’s usually by people who don’t know me at all.

Regardless that this can still hurt when I hear this. I don’t care what they think, when they don’t know me.

I don’t automatically let anyone in. I have to know you first, then slowly the walls will go down. Depending on how much I trust you, or how much you are involved in my life will depend on whether I partly let you in, or fully let you in.

But if you do something that knocks that trust away, then the walls quickly go up and are not likely to come down for you.

When you see someone who you think is weird, or strange, rather than think that say hello and see what happens. Chances are you will get an hello back, with a smile. You don’t know their background that makes them like that. For me, I had fear of dad growing up. I was bullied at school from late junior school age and all through comprehensive. So I don’t give trust easily. I stand back and observe you, seeing what you are like. You are either going to be a person who I think may be ok. Or you may be some I don’t want to know, or don’t feel comfortable around, because how you come across. I am more cautious of men, then women, because I have been in an abusive relationship and then another relationship who years later after splitting up with him, found out what a person he was like that he was hiding and so I will never go out with a man. But if I have a man just as a friend, then it means I have trusted you as a friend. But regardless of trust, I would still never go out with a man. Being single is the way I will go. I would never be intimate again. The idea makes me sick. I have done more as a single person, than in a relationship.

So next time you are thinking someone is strange, or weird. Rather than call them up front, or behind their backs, ask yourself why that might be? Say hello because you want to be a friend, otherwise walk away and leave that person alone. They have enough to possibly contend with.

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

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Blog post share: “I am not offended,” by The Daily Annagram

In this post I share a blog post that I have not long started following. Her blog post is called, “I Am Not Offended” by The Daily Annagram.
While you there reading this post, which comes with a trigger warning, as it raises violence and assault, I recommend you read other blog posts from this wonderful blogger too and follow.

This post was written because of something she read, which if you visit this post, you will find out more. The particular words that have sparked this post; “mistakes,” which I can totally relate to and understand and so this post is powerfully written. As this blogger has said and I agree and I have put this short here, when someone assaults, rapes, hits someone, or threaten, you cannot say they were “mistakes.”

When time doesn’t heal all wounds

A blog post share.

#Speak

After you go through something painful, people love to give you advice. And one of the most common pieces of advice is the infamous expression “just give it time.” With time, the hurt and suffering you are experiencing will gradually decrease until one day it’s gone for good. And yes, I know this phrase may hold true for various situations. But when it comes to recovering from an abusive relationship, it’s a different matter entirely.

An abusive relationship strips away everything you thought you knew about human nature and the world. With abuse, you experience someone you love transform into a monster before your eyes – they degrade you, hurt you, put you down, threaten you, over and over and over again. Experiencing this kind of trauma leaves a very real and very profound mark on a person. It makes you question your previous beliefs that people are genuinely good…

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Book review: “Untangled: A story of resilience, courage and triumph,” by Alexis Rose.

“Untangled: …” by Alexis Rose is her own true life story, recalling her life of unimaginable abuse and explicit threats. Alexis Rose repressed these memories of her past, until a family tragedy forced her to face what her life had been.

This book gives a note to the readers before the story starts, to warn how it could be triggering because of descriptions of sexual and physical abuse.

A history of abuse, torture and threats to maintain her silence or be killed, could no longer be denied.
This book is her story of facing the truth and risking the consequences of breaking the silence, to start a healing journey and to learn to live her life. Alexis Rose had to also learn to accept the effects of the trauma that echo through her daily life as PTSD.

Through reading this book, it shows just how our mind dissociates while being abused.
Dissociation is something I have experienced as you know from my blog posts. But to experience what Alexis Rose had all through her life, I could not imagine. This book certainly lives up to the title of resilience and it gives hope to other victims who have suffered trauma and abuse, that you can get through it too. This book helped me to understand more about PTSD and the way my own PTSD had effected me, when I was struggling with mine at the beginning of my counselling sessions, when it was raw to start off with and during, that I revealed to my counsellor.

When I got to page 204, I shed tears of relief as Alexis Rose found the missing link with her counsellor.

I have been following Alexis Rose’s blog, ‘Untangled’ for some time now, which you can find here at: https://atribeuntangled.com/blog/

Alexis also did an interview you may like to read at, Vilina Christoph.