Blog post share: “It isn’t just #metoo”

Having once been in a relationship where a man once thought he could have sex when he wanted, learning mum had experienced similar experiences to me after that experience I had in that relationship and discovering another ex has abused a child 10 years earlier, when I learnt last he was jailed, which questions what was I during that time? I feel I need to share this blog post I discovered today.
This blog post will take you to a blog called, “Her Patchwork Heart” and it comes with trigger warnings, as the post discusses sexual assault many times. As hard as it is to read and hear about stories like this, it is important that we hear, because when we have been abused some way, we are scared to talk about it because we wonder if we will be believed. We can also be told it was our fault or to be quiet. But being quiet about it does lots of harm, on top of harm and damage already caused from being abused.
Victims are no longer going to stand in being quiet and are now speaking up. We won’t be made to be quiet or shut up! We might be moving forward in the right direction in speaking up about this, but someone out there may be still going through something similar and feeling the same; scared, not believed, told to be quiet. It needs to stop and people need to realise that you don’t own your partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, just because you go out with them, or are married to them. It does not give you the right to abuse.

Her Patchwork Heart

TW: sexual assault is mentioned many times in this post, so please keep yourself safe while reading.

Today, while on a date, I was told that perhaps my “timid” demeanor and my soft voice are the reasons I have had so many “odd” encounters with men, whereby they think it is okay to ambush me with kisses on the mouth or brazenly graze my breasts or slip a hand up my dress. I was told that this makes me seem like “easy prey”, like I’m the type of person that would stay quiet. And, you know what? I am. I am that quiet woman, conditioned to stay silent. When I was little and was coaxed into playing doctor under the bed it wasn’t him that got into trouble, it was me. I was made to feel bad and dirty. When grownups tricked me into touching their “private parts” I was…

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Post share: “My battle cry: Ignorance is not an excuse,” by A Kinder Way.

Ignorance is no excuse. It is time to learn to gain an understanding, if you don’t know about someone’s mental health. Ignorance can damage.
Learn more here, why ignorance is no excuse.

A Kinder Way


I have had OCD for 14 years. Throughout those 14 years, I’ve been supported, understood and believed by many people in my life.  I’ve been shown a great deal of love and patience. I’ve seen effort and kindness, compassion and an incredible amount of care. To those people…thank you….from the bottom of my heart. THANK YOU.

The thing is…I’ve also felt a lot of negative things about my diagnosis.

I’ve felt embarrassed and ashamed.

I’ve felt burdened and scared.

I’ve felt guilty and sad.

I’ve felt overwhelmed, confused, angry and frustrated.

I’ve been dismissed and ignored and even felt betrayed a time or two.

This year I’ve made a commitment to myself and my health.

I will no longer allow myself to be treated negatively over something I have no control over.

I will no longer accept ignorance as an excuse for any lack of understanding about my diagnosis from the…

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Chit-chat – October


I received my certificate for Health Care (Foundation) with BSY, near the end of September, which I received ‘High Merit’ for. As for my other home study; pet sitting course, I took a break from studying to feel refreshed after the effort I put in with the two courses at BSY, now finished as you know, except for still sticking my head in books to help with my theory test and learning to drive. By the way, if you have not already seen this post; Theory test; attempt 2, I passed and my driving lessons are in November.

My hand

I have nothing to report about my hand much, as I am having a problem trying to get an appointment at the moment with the doctor, to see about results. I still have pain, but it has eased a bit, but it can still catch me out. I still use my pain-killing gel and take paracetamol. I have limited to how I use my hand, like making sure I don’t put any exertion on it, which I think has helped too in reducing pain.

My tooth

My tooth that has been a long wait for to have extracted, is on the 17th October.
When I have been taking paracetamol, it has not only helped my hand, it has also helped to reduce the pain on this too. It is very tender to touch around the right hand side of my face, near my nose. The pain or discomfort seems to transfer to my cheek bone at times too. I will be glad when it comes out. I have felt nausea at times this past fortnight and I am wondering if it’s the abscess that is making me feel like this.


PIP assessment is this week and I am hoping this time they don’t cancel, because if I arrive there to find it has like last time, I will write a written complaint. Not that I will forget the last time at this weeks assessment, as I shall raise it there at the appropriate moment.

The job front

I will be glued to my email inbox to see if I hear from either of the cleaning jobs I applied for. One of them does not have a closing date, but the other does, which was last Friday. If I am lucky to hear from them, 48 hours before interview day, then the interview will fall this Friday.

To stay where I am at the moment

As you know from my last chit-chat, I had extra worry when I heard my rent was going up, while making my way to my PIP assessment. The extra worry on top of losing PIP, made me feel sick. After chatting with the person who manages the property on behalf of the landlord, I felt happier and a little reassured. So it has taken a little pressure off. As tempting as I want to move from the area now, I did not want to do it while I have my cat Miley. So as I continue to live here for how ever long I have Miley, I don’t want to move until I am ready to downsize, because the type of property I would want, I would not be allowed a cat. But if it turns out I did not get anywhere with this job and I heard from the other one which is local, then moving out of the area would be rather a stupid idea, as I could walk to it and so if this happened, then I would downsize to a property in my local area, if possible, when the time came. Wherever my next move would be in the future, I will be picky.

Finding the balance

The urge to move out of my area, I don’t think helped with how I was through other stresses I had, that I have blogged about in past posts, that affected my moods and how I was feeling. Although I still have the urge to live in another area, it is not as strong as it was. I think if I am in a better job, everything would follow on ok and everything else would balance out. I have seen this, while I am lucky for it to be calm at my workplace and making sure I have my time out moments like I did on my D.I.Y. retreat.

I also learnt after my retreat, that I need to make sure I don’t drink too many lattes when out and about, (unless it is the decaf kind) because know that having more caffeinated drinks than I usually would when out, does not help my anxiety.
Looking back after my D.I.Y. retreat, I am aware before leading up to that, that I was drinking a lot of lattes more than normal which became my comforter drink. When I felt tired, down and stressed, I would make my way out for that smooth latte from my favourite place. I can remember that every sip I drank, I enjoyed, but I also remember how I felt comforted, which replaced sweet food. Either not good, when you have too much. I am surprised I did no give myself a migraine, (or bad headache) and nausea with how many I had a week. So now, when I go out, latte I still have, but depending on how many I have already that day, or that week, it may not always be my first choice.

I have taken timeout this weekend. Not a set schedule like the D.I.Y. retreat, but still doing something.
Saturday morning, after feeding Miley and having my breakfast, I read a book, then I went out to a coffee and cake morning that a local shop was having to raise money for Macmillan. I met my mum there and while there, I browsed the handmade gifts in the store. I bought something for myself and the other was towards a Christmas present, to go with something else I bought earlier on in the year. Me and my mum then walked back to mine and chatted back at mine for a couple of hours over further decaf tea and decaf coffee.
When my mum decided she was going to leave, to make her way back home, I decided to make my way to Nottingham for a bit. This was to do some Christmas shopping while I had the money, while soaking up the atmosphere. I was just down there for a couple of hours, before coming back home to have my dinner, then I relaxed with book.
Sunday, after my breakfast and feeding Miley, I continued reading my book while the washer was on. Basically just having a lazy day and nothing else planned.

Book review: “The Little Book of Mindfulness,” by Dr Patrizia Collard.

“The Little Book of Mindfulness,” by Dr Patrizia Collard is a “little” book, measuring only 15cm by 11cm. It has 96 pages of what hopes to be inspiration for the reader, of simple 5 to 10 minute practices of mindfulness.
I have read all the book for inspiration and although I have not practised any yet, there are many I am familiar with and if you have, or do Yoga, or Pilates yourself, then you will be familiar with some of the suggestions in this book too. But it is still perfect reminder.
What about the ones that I have given me new inspiration?
One example was ‘mindful eating,’ examining the food you are about to eat, looking at it like you have never seen it before, like a raisin for example. Holding it in the palm of your hand and noticing the difference in size, colour, form, weight and shape. Observing the ridges and the texture of the surface, so your vision can really have a feast on this. There are other suggestions while holding this fruit, before it leads onto smelling it, then tasting it and observing at that point as you chew the flavours, the change of consistency of the raisin and what you may notice completely new to you.

The contents of this book:

  • Introduction
  • Being in the now
  • Accept and respond
  • Making your mind up
  • Simply be
  • Mindful eating
  • Gratitude and compassion
  • Everyday mindfulness
  • Acknowledgments


Related post: 

Doodle and Mindfulness 

You may also like reading this post:

How do you Meditate,” over at

Doodle and Mindfulness

I have bought four books recently, from Amazon. Two of them are doodling books and the other two are mindfulness books, although doodling books fall under mindfulness too. (My opinion.)

My doodle books.


My mindfulness books.


I am going to be in doodle heaven, but although they are not meant to be, I may find a challenge at times. But all good to get me inspired and my brain in a different mental gear.

The mindfulness books in the last photo will be a challenge too, as one gets me thinking and the other a motivation to try what is in the book. The book, “Start where you are,” from flicking through, will give me some self-awareness, maybe help with self-esteem, because of this book being a self-reflection type book.

The coming months ahead, as I dip in and out of these books will be interesting.