Cyber bullies, you need to STOP!

Bullies. I don’t care if you are sad, having problems at home, or whatever. I don’t care. At the end of the day it doesn’t give you an excuse to bully someone else.
Growing up hasn’t been easy for me. But I did not turn into a bully, so why should you?

Bullying and cyber bullying of any kind is not acceptable at all. It doesn’t matter who you are bullying and whether you know them, or not. It’s still NOT acceptable.
Do you realise the damage you cause?
Are you going to take responsibility for the damage caused by your bullying?

If you have a problem in your life, rather than bully someone, reach out to someone close to you for help and stop the bullying. If you have no one close to support you, then speak with a doctor about your feelings, or a counselor.
Even if you have no issues in your life, still STOP.

For my readers:

No, I am not being bullied, but there is someone I follow who I know is being bullied and it has been going on for some time.
I am not revealing who is being bullied and if you know, please don’t reveal. Your comment won’t be on show, if you do.

I know that the person who is being cyberbullied, reads my blog and so I don’t want this person to reveal it is them being bullied, because I don’t want them to be further bullied.

If you are being cyberbullied, then visiting the following link below, will give you advice on what you can do.

https://cyberbullying.org/response_cyberbullying_adults

 

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

 

Blog post re-share: From In The Classroom: Written for The Bullied Kid

As someone who has experienced the effects of bullying and coming across this post, I share in case there is a reader who is experiencing bullying right now. I hope you find these words comforting. I wish I had read something like this when I was younger.

The Written Addiction

I know right now that everything seems crucial.
Your friends, popularity, the kids in class, the things you do, the music you like, the jokes you tell, even the clothes you wear are things that revolve around a crowd.
Not everyone is the same, which is a good thing. But even when we are different, truth is we all just want to get along.

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A year ago, on 5th February…

I don’t know if you have realised, but I have only realised how my blog was one year old, on 5th February. It all started with my first post, Hello world.
When I first started writing this blog back then, I did not realise how long I would write this for. I did not have any long-term goals for it, other than this blog be therapeutic for me.
I have met some lovely supportive people via WordPress and who are mostly bloggers themselves. You have shown me what a supportive, lovely bunch you can all be, to say you have not met me personally and only know me through my blog. (Although there are friends who read this too and have met me, or know me personally in some way. Some are even from when I wrote my deaf blog.) Although I have said thank you before for following my blog, I thank you again.

I have expressed some triggering contents in my posts. A lot of them was at the beginning of my blog journey and for those who have read this blog from the beginning, will know certain things I had to do, to help me on my healing journey after counselling had finished. I also revealed bullying and the effects. (As if I did not have enough already in my childhood.)

This year, I revealed for the first time publicly, how one time I was raped some years ago. I shared this after #ITSNOTOK campaign. I felt such relief by sharing this, than I personally expected and weight off my shoulders. I suppose because I felt shame underneath, which I know I should not. It goes to show rape can happen anywhere and #ITSNOTOK.

I have learnt from feedback received, that this blog is a positive inspiration for you in lots of ways. I am happy to hear this and while I feel the need to write, I will continue. This blog covers a wide variety of things as I grow. It will still cover depression etc… whether I share my bad days, or news I learn from elsewhere, but also it will still cover my wellbeing at times and learning I do. There is also my garden that has caught interest with some readers last year. I do plan to share further this year, than I have already. So if you want to continue following the garden progress, then do keep reading.

 

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

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My very personal posts of 2016, that started off this blog.

If it wasn’t for offloading and using this blog as part of my therapy to accept what happened to me, then I probably would not have started this blog. Writing this blog has helped me to move forward and some things that were really troubling me, to let go of the guilt that I should not have had to start with.
Most of these following posts all have a trigger warning of some kind, stated at the beginning of the post.

• Hello world
• My counselling sessions – Part 1 of 2
• My counselling sessions – Part 2 of 2
• Learning to have a “can-do” attitude
• I needed to face it
• Childhood: Why did I not take the opportunity to leave?
• My escape from the world, as a child

 

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

Bullies! Do you think?

Bullies, do you think when you bully a person?
Whether you bully on your own, or in a group?
Do you think you are cool?
Do you feel good at the end of the day?
Can you sleep at night?
Do you think what you got out of it?
What did you get out of it?
Is your life that shit, you want to make someone else’s shit?

Do you think of the negative effect you have given, to that person you bullied?
Did you think how you knocked them down, whether they were already down and hurting before you started?
That person could already be having some sort of shit life, that you don’t see. A shit life at home.
Did you think? Did you?

Do you think how low they could go, like try to hurt or kill themselves?
Did you? How do you feel?
I hope you feel like shit, because people you bully don’t deserve that kind of shit.
It’s on your hands, if you push them that far.

So next time, think, before you act and choose the cooler option of being a friend, rather than a bully.

by Elizabeth Fisher

Copyright© 7th December 2016

 

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

#If depression were a choice

#If depression were a choice, I would not have witnessed as a child of the ups and very bad downs of my mum’s mental health. I would not have worried whether she would disappear again, like before.

If depression were a choice, after seeing how it affected me personally as a child and, also how it affects other people and their families, then I would not choose depression myself. Because after all, it is no fun.

If depression were a choice, I would not struggle to get out of bed some mornings, or sometimes worry about the day ahead.

If depression were a choice, I would not have wished at one time that I was dead and that I was of no use to this world.

If depression were a choice, then I would choose to not have depression. But unfortunately it is not that easy.

If depression were a choice, then I would not have needed the doctor, counsellor or my medication.

If depression were a choice, then my mind would choose to stop dwelling on things.

If the bad experiences of childhood (including bullying, if I did not have enough already,) and early adulthood had not happened, then I would be able to stop my brain having the memories of those days and re-living them.

Until you have been in my shoes, or other people’s shoes of people suffering mental health, then you do not know. So please do not judge.

What I experience to another person it is different. I know how my experiences affect me, but it does not mean I know fully how it affects the next person. I can only be there to support, or to just listen.

Receiving comments of the following I write below, that I have heard personally myself over the years, are not helpful at all.

• You can choose not to dwell on things
• It happened to you a long time ago and so you should put it behind you
• There’s no point living in the past
• Isn’t it time you moved on?

So until you have been in our shoes, suffered what we have suffered, you will not know how exactly how our past affects our mental health. So do not judge, but listen to our stories and try to understand how it affects us.

If depression were a choice, then I would choose not to have depression.

 

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

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Talking therapies

As you know from reading this blog, I have had counselling in the past, the last two sets of sessions being very helpful for me.
This was because after the counsellor who I had for my first of theses two sessions, identifying my childhood past being the cause of how I was now.
Since these sessions have ended, I have been writing this blog as my continuing therapeutic way of dealing with things, as well as other things, like learning something new, remembering to give self-love.

I recommend talking therapy to anyone who is struggling. Talking therapy can work alone, or alongside antidepressants from your doctor, depending on the individual.

I recently learnt that someone closer to me was not doing well as I thought. After this person asked for advice, which I gave, I could see there was a bit more to it then the person was letting on, so I asked further. The person wouldn’t answer this question, as was concerned how I would feel ashamed of them, of their response.
I reassured that person, that I am sure you have done nothing to be ashamed of and that the advice I gave before would not help alone, as I could see whatever this issue was needed to be addressed. This would mean if they felt they could not be open with me, then to speak to a counsellor where you will not need to feel worried about being judged, because they are there to listen.
On answering further questions about what to expect in counselling sessions to reassure this person, because they have never seen a counsellor before, I printed off the necessary information, so they could self-refer. I hope this person does follow it through, because I know this person would benefit from it so much.

If you are feeling the need to talk to someone and have no one, or not confident in speaking to a friend, or family member, then please do speak to a counsellor. They are not there to judge, they are there to help.

I do recommend talking therapy, because you are in a neutral place where you do not need to worry about upsetting, or worrying a friend or relative, so you can unburden yourself. A place where you also won’t feel judged.

For more information on talking therapies, please visit this page at Mental Health Foundation.

 

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)