Car driving lessons update

Two driving lessons this week as my instructors wasn’t well last week and how I felt myself, it was also a blessing for me, as I would have struggled with last hour of my lesson possibly with a bad cold I had. I just slept that weekend because of it. My first lesson was yesterday and the other is later today. Yesterday was better than my last lesson and although I knew I did better, the same anxiety was still there and low confidence in what I am doing, but this time having control of my feet to where I wasn’t panicking with them. But regardless, I am still enjoying my lessons.
I am thinking about whether to continue with manual lessons down the line though and instead change to automatic. Or if I manage to continue with manual lessons and pass, I will more likely drive an automatic. As a deaf person, I can’t hear when my car is telling me to change-up in a gear. I cannot feel the difference either. There is something that has been pointed out to me, that will tell me when to go up in a gear, but it still leaves me with knowing about when to drop down in gears.
The bite I feel when the car is stationary, I do not feel now as I move the car and I am now stalling the car. Although it has been pointed out that everyone does this and it take time to master this, I still wonder if after some more lessons in a manual car to start seeking lessons again in an automatic car.

Recent thoughts

I have only spoken out loud to one person, (my mum) about what I am about to say now here and that I have been doing some thinking of moving to Derby one day. This is because unlike where I currently live, should I apply for a disabled bus pass in the future, the process is simple and it costs nothing. But it is not just because of that, also I have felt and wondered by just going to another area, just for that feeling of a complete fresh start. Anxiety has held me back many times in the past though.
As a deaf blogger one time, when I talked about the application I filled in and the difficulties with it because on the form it does not allow my audiologist to fill it in and so I have to go to my doctor which results in paying him the time to fill in the appropriate part of the form to prove my hearing loss. The trouble is, my doctor does not have my up-to-date hearing loss details, because at the end of the day it is my audiologist I see. Many of my deaf friends and deaf readers when I  used to write my deaf blog, who lived in other areas, informed me that the process I have to go through to prove my hearing loss, it doesn’t happen where they live. One blogger, contacted me personally and said where he lives, it used to happen and advised me who to contact to challenge them, as he did and he got it changed.
Many years later, I decided to do what I was advised, talking to a fresh-faced person about the matter and feeling confident something would get done. This was last year, back in March. Earlier this year, I emailed for an update and since voted that person in. But I have heard nothing. What was the point in me voting if you are like everyone else and don’t care? That’s what it feels like as I am kept in the dark. I feel ignored, which was also what I added in another email recently and waiting to hear.
As it is the General Election today, I won’t be voting who I was originally voting for, that this party recommended, as I will vote for someone who did help me one time on a different matter.

On the same disability matter regarding my hearing loss at work, I am coming across some same issues that I get every year. Now although nothing has been said verbal yet, fresh papers have gone up regarding certain training and my name is on them even though I have done them online, where I am allowed to do them. But as my name keeps coming up regardless, I won’t be surprised if they ignore the conversation and try it again and so I have contacted the same person at work who helped me before. I hope to hear from her later when she is back.

Those that know me well will know that I hate coming to work as it fills me with anxiety and dread. When I am out into another job, it won’t come quick enough, which comes to my next topic in this post. I have seen a cleaning job of 32 hours per week and although nights is not something I really wanted to do again, there is nothing stopping me and I cannot stop thinking about it, so I have applied. Wish me luck. 🙂

On the subject of moving to possibly moving somewhere new, are there readers here that have done it? I am particular interested in those who live on their own like me and have done this.

Car driving lessons update

Creating my own flash cards has helped me to get my head around with the first four I was having issues remembering, when it came to moving the car. (This post will explain more, if you missed it to what I am on about.) Because I got my head around it, I decided I would have a go at changing gears. This was just back and forth from first and second gear to start with, while driving up and down the same road where I have been having my lessons. I also started using my indicators, after my instructor decided it was time I go on a different road. So I got thrown into it without any warning, giving me no choice but to continue doing what I was asked to do.
Driving on a different part of the road, using my mirrors, signal, manoeuvre, changing the gears now and again, meant I was now passing other road users. I drove over the same roads each time and I was going in a circular route. Each time I was getting better with my braking and clutch and also my steering. The anxiety levels also went back down, as I progressed better. My instructor said to me I have done well today and that I have gone further today than I probably think. Which is true. Although I was doing it, it’s not sinking in just how well I’m doing it. I don’t feel confident in parts in what I am doing. But I do know this confidence thing will improve, if it’s anything like before.
Next week, I will be doing the same things as today, but something a little more in-depth.
My instructor said he put me out there, cos he knew I would do it. I said to him, had I’d been given a choice, I would have said no, so by doing what he did, it helped. I may have been all high with anxiety to start with, but in the end it was better and I still enjoyed it. I am looking forward to my next lesson too. My instructor wrote down the process for me in regards to when I change gears and now this joins my other paper on my kitchen cupboard, along with flash cards I’ve created, so I can look at them anytime and anywhere. My instructor also wrote down regarding speed verses gears, to give an understanding of speed in each gear, which would help should I ever forget what gear I am in.


Random thoughts

Once I have passed and one day own a car, will it give me a better job?

A better job as in more hours where I would like to work, when it comes to hunting for a new job? A job where I am appreciated for the work I do?

When I have passed my test and ready to own my own car, I wonder if I still want that automatic car, or will I be happy to continue driving a manual car?

Just random thoughts. 🙂

My driving lessons

As I write this, I have had two driving lessons so far. The first one was about three weeks ago and my second one was today. Each lesson is two hours long, as I believe I will learn better this way than anything less.
My first lesson I wasn’t as nervous as I’d thought I’d be and my anxiety was a no-show. (I felt proud of that.) While the car was stationary, I was learning all the basics and safety in and out of the car. learning a lot of new things and I found it interesting. At one point my instructor asked me something, to see if I knew, with me subconsciously picking some things up in the past as a passenger, or that I learnt before starting these lessons and then we went through it together after. I then got to put some of these in practise, like setting up my seat, steering wheel and mirrors for example, before trying out the clutch and the accelerator while remaining stationary still.
I found the clutch hard work and I was struggling to press it all the way down. My toes were just bending back, so under the instruction of my instructor, I changed my foot position so that my toes and ball of my foot were both on instead. It made it better, but still hard work. I was wearing my ankle boots which are comfy and they are flat, so I was wearing the right shoe comfort wise, but because of no foot strength and my boots being soft soled and so my toes just going back when I pressed down, it made it look like my toes did not come to the end of my boots. But they were. So trainers were recommended next time, to see if it would help.
The accelerator I seemed a natural at in applying the right pressure to get the needle of the tachometer to a certain position that my instructor asked me to and then taking it to another a position and straight back down to previous. After my first lesson, I could not wait for my next one.

My second lesson was today and this time I wore my trainers. When it was my turn to be behind the steering wheel, after setting it up accordingly, (with only help on my centre mirror,) I wanted to try the clutch to see if wearing my trainers would make it better for me this time. Thankfully, it was and I felt reassured knowing that, because today I was actually going drive the car for the first time. I did have a couple of high anxiety moments and I nearly forgot to breathe with one of them which we laughed about as I was driving. But I drove up and down the same patch each time, feeling better than before with my anxiety, although I wasn’t feeling confident with myself, I could see I was getting better in parts. But it wasn’t until the end of my lesson for reflection on todays lesson and what I would like to expect and do on my next one, that my instructor made me realise how much I came on than I felt. He explained to me that to say it was only my second lesson and today being first time actually driving the car, that I am practically driving the car myself with no prompt from him. The only bit I get muddled up with is at the beginning he said and he noticed if I remembered one then after a while I forget something else. Otherwise I am fine and going in the right direction with everything else. So to help me, because I was going to create flash cards for myself for this bit, to get it in my head, he wrote me this. Instruction instructor wrote down to hopefully help me remember

I am getting muddled up with doing a couple of things in the first four steps and when I remember one my brain forgets another. This will go on my cupboard in the kitchen, so I can look at it when I am in there making a cuppa etc.. something I learnt from my GCSE English days as an adult, when I went back to see if I could get a higher grade. Those days there were lots of post-it-notes on my cupboard doors to memorise for it and since then, I have put this learning method into practise when I did maths and now for my driving lessons.

Chit Chat

Here is our first chit-chat, which replaces Virtual Coffee I used to do. This is chat without the cake, etc… Unless you want to of course. 🙂

Finishing off mum’s present

I finally finished off mum’s book, a present that I was working on and hoping to give her for Christmas, but with other matters at that time, it got side-tracked. So now, the aim was to finish it for Mother’s Day, which I did. 🙂 Mum loved her present.

As I was printing the photos from our holiday together, I could see there was some sort of warning for the wireless connection on it, but the first one printed off ok then afterwards, I spent a stressful 45 minutes of where I was trying to work out why it would not print. Even re-starting from scratch with the printer connections did not do anything, so in the end, I now print using the usb lead. I had that much of a bloody headache with it, I thought I was going to be sick.


Pansies I were growing inside have all died on me, except for this one. (Since this photo was taken, it is looking even more perky.)


The spring bulbs I have outside are mostly all shooting through. The problem I have though, is not knowing what they are, because my black permanent marker has come off all my pots. (So much for the permanent bit.) I have a rough idea what they are and I am hoping to transfer them soon to their permanent places.

I finally sorted out my final trellis planter, by putting up the artificial hedging up, mounting it on bricks and then filling it up with compost. I have transferred a pot that contained several crocuses into, separating them into smaller groups. I transferred them, as the pot they were currently in was too small for the amount that was in there. I am hoping they will look happier now.
I also filled my three plastic trellis planters with remaining compost and, sown my Sweet Peas in them. My red rose-bush I bought in memory of my aunt, is doing well in its pot. 🙂

Prep work, before I start to learn to drive.

As well as sticking my head in my books, I booked my eye test, before getting myself some spectacles that will go darker when the sun is out, for when I drive. I find that bright daylight, as well as sun can dazzle me, which is something I have mostly experienced.
My eye test was three months early, so it meant I had to pay, as at the moment I receive part help. But I do not mind, because the last thing I wanted to do was to arrange to have some made on my current prescription, only to have new specs later. It was a good job in the end, because my eyes had changed again. This meant me updating all my spectacles I wear for different situations, which I have three types now, counting these tinted pair I now want. My other two specs are one a clear pair and the other a blue-tinted pair. The blue-tinted pair I use for reading and the clear for things like crochet, or sometimes when watching tv.
I have heard mixed reviews when it comes to the spectacles that react to sunlight, which are both positive and negative. I hope I do get on with them, because knowing how bright daylight at times can dazzle me, along with when the sun shines does concern me if I am going to drive.

While at opticians, I also asked after I had my eye test to check if I had to wear the glasses to meet the required standards. I don’t have to wear them I found, but like they said, I shall wear them because of it helping my eyes in the long run. But I just wanted to know for  the Provisional License application form I was filling in.

The day before, I sorted out the part of someone signing my photo, to prove it was me and so after my query regarding the above at the opticians, I got the necessary paperwork together, that I needed to send, along with my payment. It will take up to three weeks, or possibly longer, before I receive my Provisional License and then I can book my driving lessons. 😀 (See this post; “One step ahead, too far” and you will know why I put ‘then’ in bold text, if you ended up missing it.


My least favourite topic of conversation, even if actually going to the dentist is a little easier than it used to be. But I had an x-ray not long back to see how my tooth was getting on since the operation I had on it about 6 months ago, or slightly more.

I try not to focus on my tooth, but sometimes I cannot help but feel anxious because it has been going on for a long with issues on this tooth. (A lot longer than this blog.) But now, I hope to be able to relax a bit more now. The x-ray results are showing that new bone is growing and there is no sign of infection. But there is still more bone growth to happen, to fill the empty void around my tooth, so while this is still happening, there is still that risk of infection. So now, after this recent appointment, I go again in 6 months time for a check-up, unless I feel I need to come in before. So I was relieved after this conversation with the dentist, knowing all is well so far, because every time I was feeling something going on with my tooth, it was always back of mind, even though what I was feeling was down to my tooth healing. Also, depending on what I was eating, it would have been that doing it, because the tooth is not completely surrounded with new bone yet. So I do have to be careful how I still eat. But at least I am not experiencing discomfort as I did in the early stages, which I am lucky, because it could have gone on longer.

My mental health course is now finished

I sent off my final paper last week, for my mental health course. It was a tough paper to finish, but nothing I did not know already. It just needed careful planning and making notes before writing it up in draft. Then I typed it up, making sure that my final question had the right word count. Once I did have the right word count, it was re-checking it all again before printing and including appropriate paper with it. Making sure appropriate details were filled out correctly.
It will take now up to four weeks, before I know my final result of this course and receive my certificates.

One step ahead, too far.

As you know, I will one day soon be having driving lessons in an automatic car. I have been looking up things I need to know since last year on cars, so I can be prepared as I can be.

Todays post is a little ramble, as I wanted to share something with you that might make you smirk. I wanted you to have a laugh on my behalf, because I have laughed about it myself.
Recently, I was looking in my diary, thinking I better book a couple of lessons. I chose a couple of dates so I could have two driving lessons of that week and I was not far off from booking them. Then I realised and called myself a plonker, following by laughing at myself, because I realised I had not sorted out my Provisional licence yet. So I was one step a little too far and possibly a little eager. 😀 So first, the all important paperwork to wait for and get that filled, before doing the above. 🙂