How words can shift a child’s self-image

I came across this video last year, which I have wanted to share for some time here.

Chen Miller is a teacher in Israel and in this video she talks about how words can shift a child’s self-image.

It doesn’t matter whether we are teachers, childminder, or a parent, if we come across children and interact with them, it is important how we choose our words.

Please watch this video and listen to Chen Miller’s wise words. The link will take you directly to the video, on YouTube.

My very personal posts of 2016, that started off this blog.

If it wasn’t for offloading and using this blog as part of my therapy to accept what happened to me, then I probably would not have started this blog. Writing this blog has helped me to move forward and some things that were really troubling me, to let go of the guilt that I should not have had to start with.
Most of these following posts all have a trigger warning of some kind, stated at the beginning of the post.

 

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

Talking therapies

As you know from reading this blog, I have had counselling in the past, the last two sets of sessions being very helpful for me.
This was because after the counsellor who I had for my first of theses two sessions, identifying my childhood past being the cause of how I was now.
Since these sessions have ended, I have been writing this blog as my continuing therapeutic way of dealing with things, as well as other things, like learning something new, remembering to give self-love.

I recommend talking therapy to anyone who is struggling. Talking therapy can work alone, or alongside antidepressants from your doctor, depending on the individual.

I recently learnt that someone closer to me was not doing well as I thought. After this person asked for advice, which I gave, I could see there was a bit more to it then the person was letting on, so I asked further. The person wouldn’t answer this question, as was concerned how I would feel ashamed of them, of their response.
I reassured that person, that I am sure you have done nothing to be ashamed of and that the advice I gave before would not help alone, as I could see whatever this issue was needed to be addressed. This would mean if they felt they could not be open with me, then to speak to a counsellor where you will not need to feel worried about being judged, because they are there to listen.
On answering further questions about what to expect in counselling sessions to reassure this person, because they have never seen a counsellor before, I printed off the necessary information, so they could self-refer. I hope this person does follow it through, because I know this person would benefit from it so much.

If you are feeling the need to talk to someone and have no one, or not confident in speaking to a friend, or family member, then please do speak to a counsellor. They are not there to judge, they are there to help.

I do recommend talking therapy, because you are in a neutral place where you do not need to worry about upsetting, or worrying a friend or relative, so you can unburden yourself. A place where you also won’t feel judged.

For more information on talking therapies, please visit this page at Mental Health Foundation.

 

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

Recovery is not a destination

A reminder post for us all, that I would like to re-share from Courage Coaching.

Courage Coaching

I wanted to write a quick post on the topic of recovery. I have embraced and accepted my own journey of recovery but not without many difficult years of wanting to see big changes, too soon..

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I know there are a lot of you battling with the struggles of mental health daily and wishing that you could achieve more.

I also know how disheartened you must feel when you don’t seem to reach your destination of being ”recovered”…This is where the problem lies..Recovery isn’t a destination..it is an ongoing, changing process with ups and downs..

Recovery doesn’t mean you will reach a day where you are recovered completely.What it DOES mean is that you will reach a point in your life where every struggle is much smaller and you will be able to feel better on more days than usual. If you suffered child abuse or neglect, you will most…

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Learning more about myself

As you know from my blog posts so far, I have talked about my difficult childhood, that affected how I was today.
Counselling I had before Christmas and for a short time in the New Year has really brought me a long way, than any other counselling I have had before. This was because they got me to delve more into my childhood, when I started talking about it, by asking questions. Some questions I had to really think about, before I could answer.
The tools the counsellors gave me, along with my own self-learning along the way, I have felt calmer than I have ever been.

You will know in past posts that I have shadowed physiotherapists and this year a healthcare assistant, as I decide my new career path.

I plan next to have experience in the mental health, to see if this could be a route I’d like to take.
I found out recently though, that I would not be able to shadow healthcare assistants, because of confidentiality, etc… (I did expect this, so it came to no surprise.) But they were able to give me further details and they forwarded on my details with my permission to the appropriate person for volunteering in mental health. I see this person in just over a couple of weeks time, to discuss volunteering opportunities.

Thought about this career for some time, but …

I have thought about this role for some time, especially the past year, but I always kept putting it off, because of a fear inside me. But the past month, I have felt more strongly about it, especially after how well I did my first piece of course work I’m doing.

I put this off because of my childhood past; the emotions I felt with my Mum at that time. I wondered if I would get unexpected flashbacks and if so, how would I react, especially if things came back that I’d forgotten.
Also, remembering the stuff my Mum used to talk about. As a child, I could not get my head around it, along with other things going on and so I did not cope very well. I would block it out and be in my own world, so I could block the pain I was feeling. I had no one to talk to as a child, regarding this, other than when I opened up to Dad a bit.

I knew that if I decided that this role was right for me, then I needed to return to this part of my childhood, so I could face it and talk about it with my Mum, if she was happy to do that. But not to discuss how it affected me, but to listen to her experience and anything else. That way, I felt if I could get past this, then I felt I would get past anything.

Facing my childhood past

Recently, but not planned, I got to listen to that kind of talk I could not handle before. The conversation started off after I was mentioning to my Mum about volunteering in mental health. The conversation seemed to naturally go from there. My Mum talked and I just listened and I surprised myself. All the fears I had before, that I was concerned about was not there. All the stuff that started coming out that I could not cope as a youngster through to my early 20’s, I found I did not bat an eyelid and I did not feel the pain I had as a child.  I did not feel uncomfortable. I learnt something new about myself, finding I now can cope with this.
My Mum was happy to carry on speaking about this and I encouraged her to talk more about it.

Passion

From the moment I started my mental health course, I knew the passion was there. When I received results of my first piece, finding I had done better than I thought, I felt even more passion and this possible job route seemed right for me.

Now I have my childhood past and learnt that everything is ok after all, I feel more reassured that when it comes to volunteering in this area, I know I will be ok and to enjoy the new experience of learning I will get from it.

 

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated.

I will never do school reunions…

(Content Warning: childhood bullying and mental health.)

School reunions I will never do, as all my years at Comprehensive school was a nightmare. From the moment I was there, I was excluded from groups. I experienced verbal bullying mainly, with one being just a push. But just because it was verbal, does not make it any better! Verbal can be just as bad, or worse! Not forgetting, issues I had at home, then experiencing this all through the years I was at my last school. Is it any wonder I did not look back!
With the bullying I experienced at school, because they did not give me a chance to get to know ME! meant I felt I could not be ME and GROW.

IN FACT! Bullying started in the final years of junior school, when I think about it. I remember in my dinner break, the head teacher came out with a cricket bat, stumps and ball. He wanted to play non-stop cricket with us. I was looking forward to this I remembered, but also I was dreading. Dreading because no one would want me on their team. (As usual, I would be the last one chosen.) Can you imagine how I felt? Well, I had to be on someones team. So picking me last, you STILL end up having me and I end up being in your team, whether we like it, or not.
A smug grin comes to me as I start to write the next part. It was my turn, the head teacher was bowling and I started hitting the ball and running back and forth. I don’t know how long this went on for, but it felt forever. I could not be knocked off for some time. Not only had I shocked myself, I also shocked the team I was on and the opposite team. All of them, that did not want me on their team.
I remember how my team, there were whispers of shock and they were impressed how good I was. This carried on for 5 minutes after, that I was aware of! I will never forget that smug feeling I had and thinking, but not saying, ‘shove that where the sun don’t shine.’ Remember they are impressed now, but before, no one wanted me on their team and this STILL continued all through the Comprehensive. (So they learnt nothing new and still did not want me.)

Bullying stopped, as I mentioned in another post when my Dad died. I don’t know how I got through these years of school. But I suppose it is like I have learnt through counselling for things I suffered at home, I am a survivor. That was what I had to do. Survive.

I only started to grow, after leaving school. But going into a relationship that turned out not to be great and experience abuse in that, did not help me grow as I thought I was doing. But, I did not put up with that first relationship. There was no way I was going to stay in that kind of relationship and I was lucky that I felt strong to walk out and not look back. But it wasn’t easy and I had to have some counselling for that alone.

But I am here and I am stronger than I was then. But, I would never go to school reunions. They don’t interest me and it is an area I am best avoiding. I would gain nothing out of it.

Related posts:

 

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated.