Glad I don’t have children
One time, I always wanted my own child, or maybe adopt. But after the last relationship I was in, I knew it wasn’t going to happen. (I wasn’t going to waste my years in another relationship to not go somewhere.) I later learnt by accident via Google, that he turned out to be jailed after abusing a child, as my long term readers will know from when I blogged anout it here. So with the disgust of knowing that, which created my own triggers from past as well as new ones at that time of discovery, I swore blind no one would touch me again, as well as definitely staying single. Which that remains.
But with how things have been with my mum and how I am from the effects of it, I am so glad I don’t have children. What I have felt in my childhood and as an adult, would now be repeated and passed on in some form. I wouldn’t want to put them through it.
Lows and highs for today
I can only foucus only on a day at a time. Each day is a mental struggle. If I try to focus on anything more than a day, even for the positive things, I just find it overwhelming.
I have had a few little highs this morning, that just perked my morning a little.
After my morning job was done, I chose to walk through the nature reserve, as I was going to my local supermarket and there is way off the reserve that brings you to it. On my travel through the reserve, I seen a heron and oh my, I was really close. I have seen a heron before, but not as close as I was today. I wasn’t able to get a photo unfortunately, as it flew off.
My other pick me up was while I was in the supermarket. I came across an apple pie that was actually vegan and it wasn’t expensive. Which makes a change. It was under £2. I am going to be enjoying this with dairy-free custard today and tomorrow.
© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.
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