Why I am back early from my blogging break

I have enjoyed my blogging break, but I have also partly missed it. While way, I have had a lot of ‘me time,’ just doing what I want to do, on my own. I have also enjoyed spending time with a couple of family members on days I have seen them.

I have some stressful times as you know, and while I have been away from blogging I have had some ups and downs. But most of these have been ups, as I shared in my first post back from my blogging break.
I have dealt with these ups and downs in ways that are suitable for me, to get it out of my system, which two of them being doodles and sharpie drawings.

I came back earlier to blogging than planned because I wanted a distraction from earlier that day. For two hours, I had to talk a lot about negative stuff with someone from Welfare Rights who was helping me with my PIP application. Like many others who are or were on DLA originally, regardless if you had it for life, we all have to go onto PIP. But if you want it, you have to apply for it. Luckily the person who is helping me with my PIP is the same person who helped me with my DLA. But regardless I am having help with filling it in, it does not make the process any easier.
Talking about all the negativity of your disability, so it is filled in properly on the form to get across to them looking at it on how your disability affects you is hard work. I cried at one point while talking about the negative effects of my hearing loss, saying how easier just being on my own can be, so I can just be me and take my hearing aids out.  Comparing to before when I applied for DLA and now for the PIP, there is a lot more down on paper. I was there for two hours. To say the PIP form is thinner than the DLA form I remember, there is still a lot of writing had to go into it.

Originally my DLA was just for my hearing loss, (although other things were mentioned, but not important then.) Now I have to talk about my depression and anxiety.

Although I left the place where I met up with Welfare Rights person better than during my session, I did start to feel tearful again while eating lunch in town. A place where I was going to have originally lunch in was very busy, so I went to another cafe very near by. I felt a little edgy where I choose to sit, with the cafe being in the centre of the shopping centre and choosing to sit on a seat around the edge. I should have really sat somewhere more in the middle, then I may have felt less edgy.
Before going home, I thought I’d pop into HMV and buy a couple of CD’s to hopefully cheer me up a bit. I bought Ed Sheeran, ‘Divide’ and Anastacia, ‘Ultimate Collection.’
It took towards the evening though, when I was working with my colleague, before my mood picked up much better.

There will always be an introvert in me

There will always be an introvert in me and I like that. That is me. It’s not going to change completely, as it has been there all my life. Don’t get me wrong, because you are not an introvert yourself, I enjoy other people’s company, but when I am out a lot, spreading myself here, spreading myself there and appearing spreading myself regular in one place that I don’t feel I can spread myself in another, then my introvert wants to come out to play, big time.
The more I am pushed to join in with something, or go somewhere, then also rebel will like to play too. (Although rebel below, is not looking like a rebel.)

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Rebel likes to sit with arms over chest and refuses to move off the settee, with the curtains closed.

I need my space to energise, to be me and to switch off. If I don’t, I can explode with the pressure and you don’t really want to see me when I am like that.

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I also can burn out if I don’t have the time to myself, to enjoy quiet time alone.

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So if you know an introvert who needs to prepare how they spread themselves and also for their quality me-time, then let them have it. They are not being shy, or selfish they need to re-charge.

I love this page I found today with illustrations that show what it is like in an introverts head.

Update on my mental health and wellbeing

This morning, I seen my doctor to review my antidepressant which I currently take every other day. I discussed with him how I felt near the beginning after a couple of weeks at starting to take them at this dosage. I then explained how last month has been especially not good, due to grief of losing my aunt on new years eve and how it was also difficult the last 48 hours before she passed away, because we had a few occasions expecting her to pass away, only to hold on for another day.
I also explained that the whole of last month nearly, was dominated by a very bad cold and that I still have a sore muscle from all the coughing I did still.

So, at the moment, because of the above and how at the moment I feel I am up and down with my emotions, we decided it was best not to lower my antidepressant any further and to keep it at the dosage I am currently on. I am to go back in and see him in four months time and we will discuss how I am doing then, and what we will do next. In the meantime, between now and then, should I ever feel any worse, not to hesitate to make an appointment.

As for my sore rib, sometimes it can take longer, as I am experiencing, so all I can do is go with the flow, taking it easy and rest when needed. Eventually the discomfort will finally go.

I also let him know about me being allergic to the Cetraben cream and so it would need coming of my repeat prescription. I mentioned I did not need any alternative, as I will continue with what I was using before, along with another I am finding even better.