I don’t seem with it

The last few weeks have been mentally and physically draining. You will have probably picked that up in my posts as you read them, even when I did not say it.

I talked about how I was so Craving quietness.
I was craving it badly that final week at work and after a week off, for the first time ever, I did not want to go back. Now I love work still, so don’t get me wrong. At work that has been a little trouble going on, which I cannot go into and I won’ go into detail. It’s not directly at me and it’s not my employer causing it. But what has been going off, has affected the atmosphere due to this incident. It wasn’t quiet at work and the tension in the atmosphere was high and there still is tension. I dreaded going back after the quiet week I craved and my mood was very dark Monday. My mood is a little better but not much.

As I have been learning and as I mentioned here, I am a ‘Highly Sensitive Person’ (HSP) I discovered. With how I have been the last few weeks with the slight difficulty in the moving process, the tiredness both physically and mentally, I am really picking this up at work and it is affecting me. Yesterday, I found I was struggling walking at times, feeling like my legs were going to go from under me. My muscles not wanting to hold me up. This is one of the effects of stress. Not had this for a long time, to that extent and I am hoping my body does not do more of this.

Today, I am a little tearful, after calling into my bank and I have decided to call into a cafe before going home for a drink and then I will be sitting down with my bank details, checking where I went wrong and correcting my workings. I called into the bank because I noticed my standing order for my rent was returned. Looking at my balance, it looked like there was sufficient funds and I was fuming that it had been returned. After the bank looked into it, it turned out a payment elsewhere I made was put first (which that’s fine) and standing order returned, as there would have been insufficient funds. Thankfully no charges. I am usually very good when it comes to my own money, making sure I have sufficient funds and I thought I had made a note of this in my folder, so when I am home, I will be seeing if I did make a note of this other payment or not. And then I will be just having my quiet. I thought I was with it now, but obviously not.

My mood is not also helping with my sensitivity to sound I am having. I have finally got round to emailing my audiologist yesterday, so hopefully, I will hear of an appointment soon with a particular audiologist.

A lot of self-care

Since these two posts, “A slow start” and “I just wanted to give you an update, after my earlier post today,” I have been giving myself more self-care than normal.
It took about a week for the tiredness to go completely. Originally, I thought it was disappearing before but I go out on a good morning and a few hours later, the tiredness would creep up again.

Self care has varied each day to what I do and I have been giving myself self-care, for over a week now.
Mostly I have been reading, with some DVD’s in between. There have been a couple of occasions where I have baked. One was apple crumble and the other baking shortbread.
I have had extra soaks in the bath and some slow walks out on the odd days.

All this week has been my annual leave from work.
Today, was going to be a PJ day. But that changed by lunchtime. As I write at this point in my post, the anxiety and adrenaline rush has just gone thankfully. This was due to me getting washed, dressed and out the door to the flat I was viewing. I had just under a couple of hours to get there. I am now spending the rest of my time at home​ doing nothing, other than watch a film and cook something else to eat, with only so much of my lunch I had to leave being edible when I came back.

As for the flat I seen, when I arrived there, like other flats like it, outside not maintained much, but inside, the flat itself nice. Also, making my way up to the flat, my asthma was not affected, as the corridor was not dusty, or musty, like another flat of similar style I seen. The flat is a bit smaller than I imagined, but doable. I am currently thinking about it, but considering and I have sent a further email of query about their fees, as well as something else in addition to my questions I had in the flat.
The bloke who shown me around from the estate agents was knowledgeable, pleasant and not pushy as I looked around deciding on it. I have not use these estate agents before, but they have left a good impression with me.
The view from the flat is lovely, considering where it is. I feel I am in a different place to where it actually is. My mum would probably have a different view and if I took it and she gets negative, the first thing I shall say is, “Who lives here?”