Fibbing Friday- 13th September

I have decided to join in with Fibbing Friday today.
To see how to join in and what it is about, do visit Pensitivity101.

1. If flower seeds give us flowers and tomato seeds give us tomatoes, what does bird seed give us?

My answer: Lots of shit.

2. How do you make a cat flap?

My answer: (I hope you have seen the Felix advert one time.) Get your cat a pack of its favourite Felix treats, stick the cat outside and close the door, while you remain on the inside. Shake the Felix treats and your cat should come charging through the door, creating a hole for your cat flap.
Ask for a refund, if it doesn’t happen. Lol.

3. Why is Friday 13^th considered unlucky?

My answer: It was a job that the witches created, passing on their superstitions. They never realised how popular it would become though.

4. When is the Witching Hour?

My answer: Every hour you feel like it.

5. Are familiars always cats?

My answer: Yes by day. But in another form at night.

6. Where did McDonald’s originate?

My answer: From a farm.

7. What was the first thing Sleeping Beauty said when roused from sleep by her prince?

My answer: Eww. Your breath smells. Have a mint.

8. What’s the difference between a sink and a basin?

My answer: A sink holds a lot, while a basin holds a little. But if you are a witch, you may be able to create a sink hole and hold a hell of a lot more.

9. Why does the wind howl?

My answer: It has a lot to say.

10. Why do we say swinging the lead?

My answer: So the lead isn’t leading anymore.

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Fibbing Friday – 26th July

It’s Fibbing Friday. My, where has the week gone? It doesn’t feel long ago when I joined in before.

Fibbing Friday is a little different this week. But it’s still fibbing, so I don’t mind. Lol. To see why it is a little different and how to play if you are not familiar with Fibbing Friday, then just go on over to The Haunted Wordsmith, for today’s post and read more about it.

Today, it’s just me playing along.

1. What objects are closer in the rear view mirror?

My answer: Whoever is hiding in the seat, behind you.

2. What wouldn’t he do for love?

My answer: Suck toes.

3. What happened in the summer of ’69?

My answer: I am still waiting to find out what happened.

4. Why does everybody hurt?

My answer: Because we may have some idiots running our country.

5. Where exactly are you being rolled away to?

My answer: I don’t know. But I hope it’s nice, where ever it may be.

6. Why was is his last kiss?

My answer: His breath stunk? Or did he turn into a toad?

7.  What happened in 1814?

My answer: I don’t know, as it was way before my time.

8. What happened to the sun to make it a black hole?

My answer: Someone turned the light off.

9. Why was the cat in the cradle?

My answer: It wanted to try the new bed.

10. Who started the fire?

My answer: It wasn’t me.

11. What did the piano man play?

My answer: A tune?

12. Why was everyone on the downtown train?

My answer: They heard Trump was sacked.

13. Why was Billie Jean knocking on the door?

My answer: He lost his keys after getting drunk, but was that too pissed to realise that he was knocking on the wrong door.

14. Why was the rain purple?

My answer: Someone let the ink out! (Sing to the tune of who let the dogs out?)

15. What exactly took place in the house of the rising sun?

My answer: Oh! So that’s where the sun went.

16. Who let the dogs out?

My answer: I don’t know. But it wasn’t me.

17. Why did they trash the camp?

My answer: Because they were very noisy.

Fibbing Friday – 19th July

It’s Fibbing Friday and it has been a while with me taking a blogging  break. My mum is joining in with this, so our answers are below.

For how to play, please see The Haunted Wordsmith blog post.

1. Why is there an ‘e’ on the end of toe but not potato?

My answer: Without the ‘e,’ you will chop off my toe!
Mum’s answer: Because toes are for sucking, potato for eating. That’s why.

2. What did the lettuce say to the rabbit?

My answer: Hug me and eat the carrot.
Mum’s answer: Eat me quick.

3.  What is the best type of stick?

My answer: Whacking.
Mum’s answer: The one they hit your backside with.

4. Why are wheat crackers so tasty?

My answer: I don’t know. You either like them, or you don’t.
Mum’s answer: Because they have to be crackers to taste nice.

5. What happens at the rainbow factory on clear days?

My answer: Unicorns and fairies.
Mum’s answer: The rain decides to rest.

6. Which item of clothing is the most jealous?

My answer: Every item of clothing was jealous, but the undies, because no one came closer.
Mum’s answer: Green knickers, because there not on show.

7. How did a boat get in the middle of the desert?

My answer: It ran out of sea.
Mum’s answer: Because it decided it wanted a change.

8. What kind of dessert is best served in the desert?

My answer: I would love to say ice-cream, but I think I would get more than I bargained for. So it would have to be a cold drink that I could have with a lid on.
Mum’s answer: Sheep’s eyes.

9. What should an Englishman send an Australian for Christmas?

My answer: Snow.
Mum’s answer: Kangaroo.

10. What really happened in the Hellfire Caves?

My answer: First it was hot. Then it got steamy.
Mum’s answer: Spitting hell.

11. Why do ghosts exist?

My answer: Someone has to keep us on our toes.
Mum’s answer: They like to haunt you.

12. Where do everlasting gobstoppers come from?

My answer: From the land of quiet. Sshh!
Mum’s answer: Possibly from the sea.

13. Where do dreams come from?

My answer: I haven’t the foggiest.
Mum’s answer: From the deepest realm’s.

Fibbing Friday – 14th June

It’s Fibbing Friday time and again it’s me and my mum doing our Friday Fibbing. We have been laughing doing these. Each answering our questions separately and then coming together, to share our answers.
Mum is enjoying doing these, so I think you will see our Fibbing Friday as a regular thing here, while it continues.
These prompt suggestions are by The Haunted Wordsmith and her original post for today’s prompts can be found here.

1. Who was the first person to sail around the world?

My answer: I don’t know.
Mum’s answer: Tom, Dick, or Harry.

2. Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids?

My answer: Because they wanted something grand.
Mum’s answer: To hide in.

3.What is Ursa Major? 

My answer: A medal.
Mum’s answer: Robin Hoods Home.

4. Lady and the Tramp wasn’t about two dogs… what was it about?

My answer: Snow White and one of the dwarves.
Mum’s answer: The in-between bit.

5. What does “Law and Order” mean?

My answer: Rules to break.
Mum’s answer: When two drunks get under the law.

6. What does Hell look like?

My answer: Well… I have two versions; one was my last workplace, in the last 2 years being there. 😙
The other version is red and hot.

Mum’s answer: Two grizzly bears.

7. What do cars do when you’re at work?

My answer: Depending on how much they like their owners, I can imagine them playing one of either two songs; “Only the lonely,” or”I want to break free.”
Mum’s answer: Talk to each other.

8. What is the best song ever written?

My answer: Holy crap.
Mum’s answer: Between the lines.

9. What are gnomes looking for in your garden?

My answer: Looking for fish, while secretly spying on the squirrel.
Mum’s answer: To see if you’ve pulled up the weeds.

10. What is in fruitcake?

My answer: Any fruit you like.
Mum’s answer: Fruit cocktail and spice.

11. What are the Seven Deadly Sins?

My answer: Alcohol, chocolate, puddings, sugar, more chocolate, cake and more cake.
Mum’s answer: A week of jumps and groans.

12. Why were Cinderella’s slippers made of glass?

My answer: It was a dodgy tracking device.
Mum’s answer: Because they ran out of leather.

13. What is wind?

My answer: Me farting.
Mum’s answer: Something you part with when you can’t get up with air.

14. Why do cars have bike racks without bikes?

My answer: Because they want to look fit.
Mum’s answer: Because they want to run up the tracks themselves.

15. What is the secret meaning behind the Mickey Mouse Club?

My answer: It’s all the little mice in the woods, having a huddle.
Mum’s answer: Two mice traps full of tasty snacks.

I hope you enjoy this one, as you did last week. Look out for future posts of my mum joining in this, with me.

Fibbing Friday – 7th June prompt

It’s time for Fibbing Friday, by The Haunted Wordsmith.

I know you have been looking forward to this as much as me, because it is a rather special post today. It’s the first time my mum has participated in a blog post on here. So here we go. 😊

1. Why do cable companies offer so many channels no one watches?

My answer: It shows just how they have nothing to do.
Mum’s answer: Because no one can find their way.

2. Who invented lemon meringue pies?

My answer: Santa, because he missed the snow, when it was summer time.
Mum’s answer: The meringue man.

3. Why did people invent the sandwich?

My answer: It was a new way to smother people.
Mum’s answer: Because of the spread.

4. What was the stone age?

My answer: How to tell the age of a stone, or a pebble, by looking at the bumps, cracks and any other age related markings.
Mum’s answer: Two bits of rock.

5. Why do people grow more annoying as we age?

My answer: It’s a new form of fun, while playing a poker-face.
Mum’s answer: Because they want to catch up.

6. What is doomsday?

My answer: It depends where you are in life.
Mum’s answer: When you don’t get paid.

7. What do fish do all day?

My answer: They are secretly plotting.
Mum’s answer: Do a gobbly do.

8. Who are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse really?

My answer: I don’t have a clue.
Mum’s answer: Four bits of a puzzle.

9. How do you make a cake?

My answer: Throw everything in a bowl and mix. But don’t forget to throw some flour around, as it makes you look very  busy. Santa will also appreciate it, cos it’s the nearest thing to snow in summer.
Mum’s answer: Upside down.

10. What is the best ice-cream topping on a sundae?

My answer: More ice-cream. Yum. 😊
Mum’s answer: Two bit pieces.

11. What is your ideal style of home?

My answer: Furniture either side of the room, to give it a parting.
Mum’s answer: Two sheets to the wind.

12. What is the strangest hobby?

My answer: I don’t know. I’m not strange.
Mum’s answer: Riding a hobby horse.

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Fibbing Friday – 31st May prompt

I have been watching Beckie, over at Beckie’s Mental Mess participate in Fibbing Friday. You can see Beckie’s answers to yesterday’s Fibbing Friday here.
I have participated a couple of times and left my answers over on Beckie’s blog posts, but thought I would start doing it here, when I join in.

The Fibbing Friday prompts are created by Teresa, over at The Haunted Wordsmith.

Yesterday’s prompt questions can be found here at this post, over at The Haunted Wordsmith. But here are the questions and my answers below to this fun game.

I have started following The Haunted Wordsmith, to see future prompts that I hope to join in with.

What would a Friday be without a chance to do a little fibbing? Have fun and come up with the best whoppers you can to these questions:

1. What did the fan say? I can’t think of anything better than Beckie’s answer. 😊
2. What really kicks off summer? I can only think of Bryan Adams song, ‘Back in the summer of 69.’ Now what did happen? 🤔
3. Who rules the world? I definitely agree with Beckie. It’s certainly not Donald Trump.
4. What is the best thing to do to someone who snores? Give them the elbow. But make sure you quickly pretend you are asleep.
   Or, pinch their nose and see what happens. 😁
5. Who/what was your last unexpected house guest? A wasp.
6. How does a blanket keelp warm? It’s not the blanket keeping you warm. You have been deceived all these years. Instead, it’s you that’s keeping the blanket warm.
7. Why shouldn’t you snoop? You may be forced to keep a secret.
8. What is the worst thing that could happen to you? I can’t think of an answer.
9. What did the gopher and mole do when they met? Let’s hole up together. 😂
10. What lurks in your backyard? A squirrel, on a secret agenda.
11. What is the best way to torture someone? Now that could get me into trouble. Lol.

So if you would like to start joining in with Fibbing Friday, then don’t forget to follow The Haunted Wordsmith.