Weird… Strange…

I have been classed weird, or strange over the years. These times are rare when they happen and when they do, it’s usually by people who don’t know me at all.

Regardless that this can still hurt when I hear this. I don’t care what they think, when they don’t know me.

I don’t automatically let anyone in. I have to know you first, then slowly the walls will go down. Depending on how much I trust you, or how much you are involved in my life will depend on whether I partly let you in, or fully let you in.

But if you do something that knocks that trust away, then the walls quickly go up and are not likely to come down for you.

When you see someone who you think is weird, or strange, rather than think that say hello and see what happens. Chances are you will get an hello back, with a smile. You don’t know their background that makes them like that. For me, I had fear of dad growing up. I was bullied at school from late junior school age and all through comprehensive. So I don’t give trust easily. I stand back and observe you, seeing what you are like. You are either going to be a person who I think may be ok. Or you may be some I don’t want to know, or don’t feel comfortable around, because how you come across. I am more cautious of men, then women, because I have been in an abusive relationship and then another relationship who years later after splitting up with him, found out what a person he was like that he was hiding and so I will never go out with a man. But if I have a man just as a friend, then it means I have trusted you as a friend. But regardless of trust, I would still never go out with a man. Being single is the way I will go. I would never be intimate again. The idea makes me sick. I have done more as a single person, than in a relationship.

So next time you are thinking someone is strange, or weird. Rather than call them up front, or behind their backs, ask yourself why that might be? Say hello because you want to be a friend, otherwise walk away and leave that person alone. They have enough to possibly contend with.

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

Quiet

I like to have quiet, but as you know I have been watching a lot of dvd’s for some time now.
Most times, watching dvd’s has been from afternoon, to quiet late. But because I have been having some quieter evenings; dvd’s not going into the late evening, or not at all, I am noticing how my hamster, Daz, comes out in his surroundings, (his cage,) slightly earlier than he would before. And this I have noticed is because its been quiet. So Daz likes quiet too.

I will leave you with a couple of photos of Daz, that I have shared before.


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

Mum’s words

I thought I already talked about how I value my mum’s words here. But looking through my posts it seems not and so it must have been a thought whether to write this, or not here. Or it might have been that I mentioned this when commenting at another bloggers blog. I can’t remember. But I certainly cannot see anywhere where I have written it here on my blog, in the last 3 months.

Its also a difficult post for me to write. Given the situation now.

Anyway… I value mum’s words. I always have.
Mum writes poetry. Well used to. This has now stopped since she was sectioned last year and her writing now is squiggles of what looks like in the pattern of writing, or when words are formed, its scrambled, when I visit her at the care home.

Mum would always get me reading her poems after she had written them. But in the last few year’s, mum would get me reading them during her creation, as well as when she had finished for my opnions. Mum knew I wasn’t for poetry at that time. But reading hers was a different matter. Sometimes her poems would reflect God and so she would sometimes warn me prior. I would still read, but giving any further input than they were alright, I felt it wasn’t my place to do on those type of poems. But the other poems that were about anything else, I would, if mum wanted opinions. But I would like what I read and say they were alright, or good and anything else that I enjoyed about them.
Some of mum’s poems became humorous in the last few years

Some of my friends reading this blog, have read some of my mum’s poems and they have loved them too.
The care team that used to come to mum’s bungalow until she had to be sectioned would end up reading my mum’s poems. They enjoyed, but they were also fascinated in how she would be able to create these poems. Some poems, just like that. Spontaneous.

My mum’s creative side is definitely poems. But mum had one time sketched in a younger years, that one time she kept. There’s only one now that exists, that she did not throw away and that’s a sketch of her mum. The others she sketched were of some actors. One I remember being Adam West.
They were brilliant and I am not saying that cos she’s my mum. They were brilliant.

I take after mum for sketching. But sketching people I cannot do and its not my thing.
And I can’t do poems like my mum. (Although had written two I think, for a person I once loved. The only time I was inspired.)

Mum has also made beautiful handmade cards and got that much into it, that she made more than me. Mum stopped because of her hands. I gave her suggestions for alternate ways, to show she did not need to give up her hobby. But she did.

Now mum’s words are nearly gone, I value mum’s words even more and her poems.

But last year, before mum became sectioned, a particular notebook of poems that mum had written and had promised to me, she had sent to some nuns. I was speechless. All I could do was nod and smile, while inside I was breaking further. I was in tears when I left, to go to work. Mum always spoke of that when I would get this notebook, I could get them published if I wanted. When she wasn’t around. I said I would like to see them published, while you are alive.

Not long after mum became sectioned, a nun had written to my mum to thank her for the poem book and money. I am not going to say how much she gave to them here. But it was a lot and first I knew of this. Mum did not mention that part to me and it was the hugest amount of money she has given away, in her vulnerable state.

Not so long ago, I written to the nuns, asking for mum’s notebook of poems back. Explaining what has been going on with my mum and how she became sectioned not long after and so mum has never seen this letter of thanks from them.  And why I would like mum’s poem book back and what the notebook looked like.

I thought I’d would have left this too late. But I learnt that I hadn’t, when receiving a reply back from one of the Sister’s.

It turns out mum sent 3 notebooks of poems and the money was still there, untouched. They were hoping to find a way to get in touch some way with mum, or next of kin in what to do. Mum had said in a letter that they could publish her poems. But they were not able to do anything with these books, or money, so they were glad to hear from me.

I replies back and said I was surprised to hear of 3 poem notebooks being sent because of not finding any in mum’s belongings, as I expected mum had thrown them away, as she said she would when rewriting into the notebook I was aware of and described to them. I also understood if they felt uncomfortable keeping the money now, knowing the circumstances, but I was just after her notebook of poems, so to hear there be more, even more the precious. But if they were to hand the money back, it would go in mum’s purse, because right now, until I become deputy, means mum doesn’t have any money.

I will be travelling down soon, to meet up with one Sister, on an arranged day to pick up the 3 notebooks of poems, as well as possibility, the money.

I am feeling emotional, knowing I will be holding my mum’s poems, soon.


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

Wood carving

Now I may have asthma as an adult, but I do like the idea of one day wood carving.
I have always had an interest from a very young age (from late infant, or early junior school age) of wood carving. I put that down to always seeing my Uncle Joe at work in his shed, carving away.
I would have liked to have watched him longer than I did as a kid, just at the entrance of the shed door, while he was carving inside and asking questions about it. But I did not want to interupt him at his work, or feel I was getting in the way. Especially, because of dangerous machinery and sharp tools. It’s strange, but from a young age, I was very aware that they were dangerous to use, if not used right.

My uncle made beautiful carvings on tables and chairs he made, of mid tone, to dark shades of wood. He was always in there, when me and mum visited them both. (Family on mum’s side.)

My first taster of handling wood was first, or second year in comprehensive school. I remember I made just a simple plain wooden box. But couldn’t take it home. That was the only time I made something from wood and wood work was only for a very short time. (One school term.) A taster. No woodwork class was taught in any other year.

My idea of wood carving is doing it the traditional way of using hand tools. Just like my uncle Joe.

And just like this person, who made this lovely wooden carving:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W_jaHdj0kyc

As I mentioned in a couple of posts, I bought a Dremel multi-tool, for engraving some of mum’s belongings. But I know this could be used for crafting too. But I am not likely to go that route for this tool, as my heart and love is for using hand tools, for wood carving.

Are you a wood carver, or make things out of wood?

Now whether you as a wood crafter and use a traditional hand tool, or a multi-tool, like a Dremel, when it comes to making things out of wood, I would love to hear from you.
Please share what you have made in this post, in the comments below.
Maybe you share your woodwork on your blog? If you do, then please talk about what you have made and share a blog post, to one of your makings.

Anything to do with making something from wood, I would love to hear.


Please note, this blog is coming to an end. Further details can be found here, including link to my new blog.


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated.

My feelings – part 12

If I could stay in bed for I don’t know how many days and sulk it out I would. But I get up.

It’s important I get up, as I have my morning job to go to. The only job that feels secure right now.

The evening one that isn’t, with how that job makes me feel already, now makes it even more harder to be arsed to go to.
I sent an email to them, the day after bank holiday saying exactly how I feel about this since our team meeting. I feel better for doing that, even if nothing comes of it in the end.

I have always gave more than my 100% in a job, from ever since I left school and worked, but with how things once again go for me, I just wonder why bloody bother?

Why bother chasing for dreams, that end up being dreams still?

Regardless how I feel, I have my regular weekly chats with my neighbour, over a cuppa. Or we are out walking. Sometimes our meet ups maybe twice a week, even if I am just sat outside the flat a bit.

I don’t want mum in the care home she is currently in and I won’t be at rest until she is somewhere different. Preferably one of her choices of two places once discussed years ago, as I will mention in an upcoming post soon.


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

Life currently now

I feel what I want in life, as a start to make things better has just slipped away, hence I can only focus on the day in hand. Looking ahead does not feel bearable to look at. I can only cope with today. It’s painful to look any further ahead than that.

For at least 4 years, I will live where I currently live. I am not happy about this and it doesn’t bear thinking. But for at least 4 years, staying where I am, will be easier than moving during this time, due to certain circumstances. Hopefully after then, maybe my dream of owning my own home can be a achieved, when time comes ready to move. But again, putting my heart and effort into this as I once did before, is not bearable. I save. Yes. That’s it. But for what I save for and looking how far away I am from my target, I don’t do now. I find it unbearable. I will just save.

Although I am on the council waiting list still, due to Coronavirus, means that is at a standstill. But I have been asking myself, do I want to move even into a council flat right now, that looks the same as the one I am in now? And, do I want to move from where I currently know what goes off, both good and bad, to possibly somewhere that could be worse? (I am thinking what my neighbour I am pals with has had to contend with over the years here, as the only council property in this block. They have it worse than me.)
I am thinking that right now, unless I was ideal for a bungalow, which I am not, then I don’t think I want to move right now on that basis with them.
The only thing that would possibly change it, if a particular flat comes up, which is rare when it does and popular, that then, I would apply and look, if I was lucky.

I have this not so reassuring thing going on in my evening job, as I mentioned in my Chit-chat August post. So unless our boss can reassuringly say to me, that something will be worked out to keep me on my current hours to clean, or to clean afternoons, I won’t be waiting otherwise to find out.

Then I have my new responsibility to come and that’s being deputy, when it happens.

Blogging I can always see me doing currently. But blogging will eventually end here at WordPress and off back to Blogger I will go. So my future updates from the New Year will be there.

My new blog is already visible as you know.

https://lizsonwardjourney.blogspot.com/

So to find out what goes on in my life and anything else I blog about, you will need to follow there.

I will only be on WordPress when reading and commenting on blogs I follow.

So day by day is all I can do. Today only. Not tomorrow, or later.


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

Chit-chat August

With me having a break near end of August, (although I did pop in a little,) meant this post was being aired later than planned. But here it is.


July feels it’s gone in a blink of an eye, for me.

So what’s for August, for me to talk about?
Do share yours, in the comments, below.

I watched the following dvd’s :

  • Queen- Live At Wembley
  • Re-watched Some mothers do ‘ave’ em
  • Re-watched Peter Rabbit
  • Moonlight and Valentino
  • Miss You Already
  • Super 8
  • Pay It Forward
  • Terminator Salvation
  • Terminator Genisys
  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
  • 21 and Over
  • Hunter Killer
  • No Looking Back
  • Bon Jovi Greatest Hits The Ultimate Collection
  • Take That The Circus Live

Painted my bedroom as planned for this year. Just the walls and ceiling in white, like the rest of my flat. It feels rather bright in there and cheered me up its done.

Read the following books;

  • “Mysterious Britain,” by Homer Sykes
  • “The Peak District,” by Rob Talbot and Robin Whiteman.
  • “Foul Deeds & Suspicious Deaths in & Around Mansfield,” by Geoffrey Sadler

First two books lent to me by one neighbour and the last book lent by another neighbour.

I bought a Dremel multi-tool kit, as mentioned in one of my, ‘It’s a weekend’ posts, to engrave mum’s name on certain items. It does more than just engrave, but this was main reason I bought one and getting a particular one, that was cordless. It’s the Dremel 8220, for anyone thats interested.

Having a practice on one side of my wooden chopping board  I use for hot pans only. I practised engraving my name, Elizabeth Fisher.

Engraving my name on a wooden ch

The top line, I written my name with pencil as a guide before engraving, holding the Dremel like a pen as advised in the instruction manual. After doing just that, one of my fingers was aching.
I then tried the detailers grip attachment and found using this was better than I thought, as I thought I wouldn’t get on with this attachment. I had no ache after engraving my name for a second time either. (See the second line.) I engraved my name freely this time, without using pencil as a guide and all in capital letters. There is definitely improvement on the second one. I shall stick with capital letters, when engraving my mum’s name on any of her belongings.

Realised I hadn’t answered number 6 of Fibbing Friday, the day after I posted, so put my answer in for that one.

I seen my mum a couple of times in August. As usual, it’s obvious mum is happy to see me and knows me, as well as names of some other people I mentioned in conversation. But I see the difference each visit for the worse. It’s early days and time will tell in the months ahead, of what my mum’s mental health will be like.

I rebelled when it came to budgeting groceries this month. I did this because of the month I had and the future I’m aiming for, just slipping away further, regarding buying a house.
I was going to have ice lollies and dairy-free ice-cream as much as I wanted and whatever else tickled my tastebuds.

I finally got to see another work colleague in my morning job, who I communicate regular with, since being in this job. So that was nice and to put a name, to a face.

And in my evening job, after what came out in the team meeting, means when I thought my year couldn’t get any worse it could do. I am not waiting to see if it happens, for me to be out work, so I will be looking for another job. Its nothing related to what I talked about before. Its something completely different and it could affect us all and if it did, then that means no for me, as I am not giving up my morning job for them. But as it was said in meeting, its just talk, but knowing who and what this is about and what has happened so far, they will possibly get what they want, leaving my boss taking possibly crap and picking up the pieces. So unless my boss can actually say I am not expected to clean in a morning for them, I will carry on looking for an alternative job.

So with knowing this, my budget will have to be my usual strict way of doing until I am in either a new job first, or if still there, where I work, did stop these others from getting what they want.

I have seen nothing more of the grasshopper, since this post, An interesting morning.

I have removed the like button off this blog. I did this over two weeks ago. A decision not made lightly as this decision, has been going on my mind  since last year for that. I have no intention of putting it back. You can thank ‘stalker’ for that. Or the repetitive liker of the same post person, whichever you like to use descriptive for this person.
I thank ‘stalker’ for helping me with this decision, because I don’t need the like button on my blog. I find chatting with my valued readers here, is far better. Better quality. (For anyone who doesn’t know what I am on about when it comes to ‘stalker,’ ‘repetitive liker of same post,’ then you haven’t been reading past posts. So answers there and not to be discussed in this post, thank you.)

The only place you will be able to see and click the like button, is if you are reading via the reader. So if you do click the like via this way, I won’t be alerted by it and I won’t be observing who is clicking the like, via this way. Just so you know.

I also announced that this blog would be coming to an end. So if you missed that, then details can be found in this post, This blog is coming to an end

I have a new badge for work, to make more clearer that I need to lipread. This badge is larger and so more clearer.
The previous badge I not long ago shared here of a different design, I should have got that in the larger size, than I had bought. But I came across this badge below, so I thought I would buy that instead. I shall buy one, or two more of these later from the Etsy seller, now I know its easier seen by other people, without them squinting, or feeling the need to come up close to read.

Badge says I need to lipread with a face mask in the middle. Background is bright yellow and writing in

End of August, which was Bank Holiday Monday for us in the UK, meant I was off work still in both jobs. I went a walk out with my neighbour, which some of the route I had not walked before. So seen more of my local area. Weather was dry and when in the woods, I felt inspired to take a couple of photos. I have shared these on my new blog, https://lizsonwardjourney.blogspot.com/ so you will need to take a look there, to view them.


Please note:

As announced here, This blog is coming to an end Details of new blog can be found there.


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

It’s the weekend

This weekend will be at slow pace and what ever may happen, kind of weekend.

I have written this weekend post in advance, due to issues still, trying to blog at times, my own posts. (I blame that on the happiness engineers, with their enforced changes.) This issue has only got worse since them doing stuff here and there, slowly bringing in the enforced new editor, ‘block editor’.

So, since post, Will I stay, or will I go? (Blogging), it wasn’t long, reading the official scrapping of classic editor. So, I can see me definitely moving and it could be sooner than later. (I have updated ‘Will I stay, or will I go?’ post, accordingly. So although originally I said I wouldn’t announce anything until the New Year, I have announced as you know here, in this post, This blog is coming to an end.

So today, if weather is nice, I will go for a walk, with a neighbour.

If that has happened, once back home, I will relax.
I may colour, or paint my nails later.

Tomorrow, I don’t know what I am doing, as I write this, than it’s a lazy, relaxing day.

Enjoy your weekend. 🙂


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

If you are going to ask someone how they are…

If you are going to ask someone how they are, or in my case, I was asked how my mum was, then do make sure you stay and listen to their answer.

I mentioned this on another blog about where I was asked recently by one particular person at work, how my mum was. But when I started to say, I was left talking to myself. I may as well have just faced the wall and had a chat with that!

It’s not the first time this same person has done this, along with another noticable trait she likes to do.

Well no more. My walls are up with this person.

So if you ever in a situation you know someone is in difficulty and you just happen to ask how they are, or how a family member is, please, stay and listen to them. What’s the point asking, if you are just not going to listen and talk to the next person that comes in the room.

The person you leave and did not finish the conversation with, could be really struggling. Or by not listening and walking away, makes you look uncaring as well as bloody rude.


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

Will I stay, or will I go? (Blogging)

Firstly, I will start saying, that I am not seeking an answer from anyone here regarding, the will I stay, or will I go? question. Only I can make this decision and a decision I can make for myself, thank you.

As you know, I have not been happy for some time with WordPress. The biggest upset that I have not felt any differently about since, was when they introduced their new editor for writing posts on our dashboard.
I am still using the one they plan to scrap, so I have not had to go back to the one they say they will keep going, when my current one is gone. Which by the way they haven’t said forever. There still is the question after the deadline, whether they will keep that one, or not. So there is still that question whether I would end up leaving anyway.

So, with that and the other stuff that WordPress will not do to make life easier for a blogger, which doesn’t matter if you pay for your blog, or not, it would still affect me, I am planning on sitting back and observing. Especially with some go slow times I have been having here I have noticed, which at first I blamed my internet for. But I don’t think it was always my internet, because if I went away and visited somewhere else, it was fine. But when I came back to WordPress, it wasn’t. So are they restricting things when it comes to the bloggers using a free blog? You will never know with WordPress. But WordPress are playing with things that as you say, ‘don’t fix what isn’t broken’

Now although I will be sitting back and observing, I will still be posting as planned. So not completely sitting back. But I will be observing my blog.

Between now and end of this year, posts will go ahead as planned, with exception when I have some blogging break time. But by next year, I will have made the decision whether I continue writing here, or writing elsewhere.

I plan to go back to Blogger and play about there soon. This time, setting up a new blog (and title), just in case I do.
I asked a couple of long standing readers and friends a while ago, their view of title I had chosen, should I write a new blog elsewhere. Now these two long standing readers and friends go way back, to my first ever blog I written. So thank you, Sarah and Ruth for your opinions.

Between now and end of the year, I won’t be saying anything more about this. It will be in the New Year, before I next do.

And should I go, then before I do, I would of course post one, or two more posts, before the blog ends. One being the announcement of new blog. If this does happen.

If nothing happens. Either way, I will update accordingly in the New Year.

Thank you for following and thank you for reading. Until next post.

POST UPDATE! on 19th August 2020

I more likely will be going since creating this post yesterday.


© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)