Do I sound confused, not settled, or just full of options?

I am not happy at times and I can get frustrated, wanting a ‘get out card’ option to be in another job that I enjoy again and where I feel appreciated. It’s clear to me I don’t want to be where I am no more and I have never felt so sure, but I am not in a situation where I can just hand in my notice while I have no other job to go into.

I still have that mind frame where I just want to start afresh; to live in a new area. This gets more stronger when I feel low or depressed.
So if I was to be in a job I felt worthy of, would I still want to get out of the area completely?
I can’t completely answer this, other than if I was not in a job I felt that sucked out my self-esteem, my confidence, my energy and, where I don’t feel me and instead in a job where I felt valued, I know I would feel a completely different person and I would be happier. I know that I would feel that I had more of a balanced life; work I love, my alone time and around friends who I enjoy their company of. But whether that feeling of getting out of Nottinghamshire was still there, I am not sure.
If I could choose where I wanted to live exactly, Brighton comes to mind every time. But this seems an impossible task to achieve currently, because living there seems expensive, but also, how do you move so far away when you need a home. But to get a home, you need a job and vice versa.
The other area where I nearly moved to once, as you know, was Derby, after applying for a job. (But I had no luck with.) This area still stands. There is also another area I like, in Notts, but I am not willing to share with anyone yet what that one is. But it wouldn’t be far away.

I have shared with you in the past my feelings in different situations like work, the feeling of getting out. Also, new plans I hope to do that I felt set with and still do, but then I look again at the other options on top.

Do I come across to my readers as confused, not settled, or just full of options?

Which ever route I take, it is not going to happen quickly as I like and this frustrates me and it can make me feel low and depressed. I know I also feel unsettled and I wish I could permanently shake this off until I am somewhere I feel valued and playing my part.

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I will always love the guitar, but I do not have the mindset to learn how to play, or the motivation.

I revealed here sometime back, how I have been learning and enjoying playing the acoustic guitar. Since a lesson where I could not wait to get out, I have gone from regular practising, to since then, only practising a couple of times since. The last few months now where I have not practised at all and so I have put it back in its own guitar bag, to keep the dust off.


I have now decided to sell my guitar because I just don’t have the right mindset, or motivation to play it. But I will always love the guitar and hearing the guitar. It saddens me that I have not been on it, but I know this won’t be enough to get back on it. I have put it on a back seat because of studies, which will go on a year or more. As well as this, I am learning a new hobby, which is crochet and I will probably learn a couple of more hobbies. I am loving the crochet and feel my brain has been exercised as I learn how to do the stitches.

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If I do decide to learn to drive, then this will be another distraction where I will always put the guitar on the back seat, so to speak. It will be nice knowing that hopefully soon, it will go to a good home, where someone will enjoy and appreciate it.

Bedtime and Health Revamp

Sleep

Although I have not revealed here, over the past few months I have been having bad sleep problems. Some were lasting the odd days to a few days, where I had insufficient quality of  sleep. I put my lack of sleep down due to the upset with the dentist experience I had and maybe worrying about it.
Lack of sleep makes me feel tired, grouchy on myself and it can make me feel low, or fed up. My motivations levels can drop and I can eventually start to eat unhealthily, which you will remember in one of my earlier posts, I did reveal me slipping up in that area and I have again, today. So I need to get myself sorted here and remind myself why I do this and the benefits for me.

Those who I chat with via Facebook quite regular, may find that I will not be on at night most times now, because I want that hour or two away from any bright screen, to allow myself to settle for bed. I have already been doing it at times and I have noticed the difference on those days. (I will also stop myself going on very late at night there, or browsing the web in general on bad sleep days and find my alternative that will be better to aid sleep.) I will answer any FB messages in the morning if I have time. If it is important and you know my mobile number, then it advisable to text and I will answer back when I can.

Rash

On top of this, my contact dermatitis I had under control has started flaring up and a rash has now started going up my lower part of my arms. So I am trying to control this.

My hands, I have started treating them with Betnovate again and I did put some on my arms once, but decided to stop doing this there, because originally it was for my hands and if I was to put it elsewhere on my body I would really need to see my doctor first.
My mum said, I ought to go back to my doctor after seeing it. But I can not just yet, because with my hands, I had been using a different cream and hand wash to my usual and I think this is what has done it. I have thrown it away and carried on using fully what I usually use and although it is very early days, I can see it is starting to look better and it is starting to be less irritating.
As for my arms, I did go back to my previous wash powder, so it could be this, but also the rash on my arms and possibly my hands as well, that I could be suffering from heat rash. (I had it round my neck last week.) I have noticed when I have felt hot and especially with having a cold since middle of last week, (that I am getting over,) my rash got worse when I was hot. To cool down my arms and resist me from scratching, I am using aloe gel, but I also put Tea Tree on today and I have found this especially good on first application. The downside is the smell. I have also read Witch Hazel is good for this, so I think this is something to consider for the future.

Nightwear: Bye bye fleecy pyjamas

As I seem to be having problems with heat rash, I have decided to get rid of my fleecy pyjamas and fleecy dressing gown. This was after reading up how wearing fleecy pyjamas in bed although cosy, it does not allow air to circulate and so when you are sleeping, you could be getting overheated. So I have treated myself to a few new cotton ones, a couple of them being brushed cotton to make it feel cosy.

I will miss my fleecy nightwear, but the heat rash as bad as I am having now, I am trying anything to combat it. It is not pleasant as you will know, if you have suffered it yourself.

 

Failing, after doing all this and it is not any better, I will go back to my doctor.

Teaching Mum healthy eating

My Mum has had some bad eating habits for a while now, as well as myself, there has also been another friend that has given my Mum advice on healthy eating.
One bad habit of my Mum’s is having ready-made meals instead of cooking from fresh. Eating ready-made meals can have hidden salt and sugar you would not believe, unless you read the food labels.

Anyone can eat healthy

All it takes is motivation

Motivation is the hard one, but it can be achieved and when you see the results that you want, then motivation becomes even easier.

My Mum recently has discovered she is borderline diabetic. I have said to my Mum if she starts to look after herself and stick with it, she can reverse this.

If you live on your own like I do and my Mum, then sometimes cooking for one can un-motivate you. But you can change this feeling by cooking something new and experimenting with food.

Forget diets, as they restrict what you can eat and are only temporary. Instead, think long-term and reap the benefits.

Readers of this blog and my old one I used to write and family and friends will know I no longer take blood-pressure tablets through healthy eating. I am so proud of this result, because I never thought I would see that happen. As well as this, I no longer feel tired as I did and I have extra energy. I have also lost weight gradually too.

I write down a menu plan for the week ahead, before my current one runs out and shop for what I need for that week if needed. I have a whiteboard on my kitchen wall with Monday to Sunday on it which displays my weekly food menu. (My mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks not included on this.) By having this whiteboard visible on the wall, I am able to see what I am eating that week and it helps to keep me motivated.

My weakness is sweets and so I am best not to buy this in advance and have in the home. If it is not there, then I cannot have it. But also if I have a craving, like chocolate for example, the chances of me going out to buy it, is nil. But had it been in the house already, then I would have been tucking in.

My Mum already has the tools to eat correctly, she just has to find the motivation to do it and the confidence to shop for the right things.
I feel my Mum is starting to listen after this result from her doctor and I have given her new advice, along with what I have mentioned before and I have sat down with her to prepare her first menu for the week ahead. There will be no doubt that I will support my Mum with any other advice she needs in the weeks, or months ahead, as she starts her healthy eating journey.

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