A change of heart with my mum

As you know with I choose not to… and If you followed last night’s post… it was getting more of a tense time and I was considering cutting ties with my mum completely. But as I calm down further, I am having a slight change of heart. But there is still going to have to be some changes, on both sides.

I’m not going to be her carer. I’m going to be her daughter. I will help top up her phone when I do see her. But that’s it. Nothing else.

From now, until November time, I won’t personally see her, as I still feel I need time away to calm, heal and concentrate on me. But I will allow my mum to text on the first of each month only.

I think mum needs a taste of what it is like, without a daughter. Maybe mum will discover how much she had depended on me.

I hope that from the short temporary break of not seeing her, that mum learns something from this. I hope mum takes more care of herself.

As for me, taking this step back from not being a carer, to just a daughter, as much as I wanted to help, I will know by not doing the caring role, it will be better for me long term. Hopefully, better all round, between me and mum too.

Also, because of the step back I am doing, means more time for me, making sure I do what I want to do and time for me as part of my self-care.

You have to remember, I have been a carer to some degree, since my teens. I’m now 43. So I think I very much deserve time out and keeping distance for a few months. It has only been this year where I have felt I have had some kind of support when it came to my mum.
But as I was still the one who seen her more than anyone else, it has been me that has seen the changes and bore the brunt of it.

When the time comes to seeing my mum in November and our first day meeting up goes ok, the plan will be to only see my mum either once a week, or once every fortnight, from then on. I won’t do anything more than once a week.

I will keep you updated and once again, thank you for your support. Xx

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated.

Advertisements

Investing in my walking

As I have mentioned in a few of my blog posts and via other people’s blog’s, that when it comes to walking, I’ve never failed on this.
Yes, on some days when I’m very tired, getting the up and go in me to walk can be a little difficult at times, but some how, I still manage to get myself out there and walk.

I had the urge to run one time, which lasted some good months, as you know, but I’ve never got round to the running part, regardless of me buying the gear to run in. I don’t think it will happen now, but I will never say never, because you never know. But I know the walking will always happen.
The running gear has not been wasted though.
My trainers I have walked in plenty and due to foot pain I had at one point in my left foot, these trainers were essential around that time. I also had to ease off the walking a little, to give my foot a chance to settle. But I am now back to my usual walking.
My jogging bottoms I wear in, or out the house. To wear out as casuals feels strange though, as I have not worn jogging bottoms all day before to walk out in since my 20’s. Only time I wore jogging bottoms were when I went to Pilates class, but soon as I was back home, I’d change into something else.
The only bottoms I have worn in the home, were a pair to lounge in, for when I really wanted to relax in, which were a Christmas present from a friend. They are really soft and comfy.
My cap I have not worn yet, but when the sun’s out blazin hot, then it will come in handy to protect my head while out walking. But this will be strange, as I have not worn a cap for a while.
The one t-shirt I bought for running in, I wear as any of my other tops of mine. So again, not wasted.
My running belt will probably come in handy one day, so not getting rid just yet.
And not forgetting my Garmin Forerunner 30 watch. I still use it to track my walks. But I probably would not buy another tracker type watch, if anything went wrong with this one down the line and just use Google instead for whenever I am interested in distance walked.

So my investment in walking, is a pair of lace up walking boots, which I bought during the short time I was in a second cleaning job.

Ecco Lace up walking boots in black and grey
Ecco walking boots

These boots are from Ecco. (My second pair of Ecco shoes.)
These lace-up walking boots will give me stability for my ankles and ideal on most terrains, where I don’t need to worry about whether they get muddy, or scuffed, compared to my other boots.
These boots will also come in handy for future volunteer work with my local conservation group I joined, this year. They will also come in handy for when I am around that nature reserve on my own, as well as new walks I may take myself on, elsewhere.

These walking boots are light and comfy on first impressions while at first trialing them inside my home for over a week. But time will tell when I am out there.
I hope I find down the line, that I am happy with these, as I was with my first pair of shoes. My first time walking out in them, at Sherwood Forest, I forgot I had them on at one point, so all seems well with them.

Black Ecco boots
My Ecco boots for walking in town (My first pair.)

 

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

Book review: The self-care revolution, by Suzy Reading.

Through doing different Google searches related to self-care, after realising slowly I have been slipping up at times and so open to fresh ideas, I came across this book, “The self-care revolution,” by Suzy Reading.
I did further searches on this book, then looked at the reviews for the book and liked what I seen.
I even seen an article about the “vitality wheel,” through researching this book. The article was an interview with Suzy Reading for this book and she explained how the “vitality wheel” works. I knew even more this book felt like it was going to be useful for me, along with making my own “vitality wheel,” with it being a visual thing. (I will share my “vitality wheel” and anything else I take from this book, in a later post.)
I bought this book from The Works, as it was a few pounds cheaper there.

Book cover of the self-care revolution by Suzy Reading

This book is designed to help and restore your day-to-day energy reserves. Remember me mentioning the “vitality wheel” before?
In this book you will learn about creating your own “vitality wheel.” It’s a complete body and mind self-care toolkit.
The “vitality wheel” consists of eight parts, which the book separates into these eight parts individually as a chapter.

  • Sleep, rest relaxation and breathing
  • Movement and nutrition
  • Coping skills
  • Physical environment
  • Social connection
  • Mood boosters
  • Goal-setting and accomplishment
  • Values and purpose

The book can be started anywhere you like, so just pick the section you feel you need to focus on first and go from there. But I think when you first pick up this book, to read it through the first time, then go back to where you feel after.

As well as creating your own “vitality wheel,” it also suggests creating a journal. But you don’t have to, as the author of this book wants you to pick out what is right for you.

Over time, you may need to update your “vitality wheel,” because our needs change. So this book will always become a referencing tool to refer back to and remind you.

I have felt this book has replaced past books I found handy, because I find this visually more appealing and easy to read. I have learnt a lot more new things, from this book too.

The author tells a bit about herself at the beginning and how she came about creating this book. It then goes into the introduction of self-care, followed by the “vitality wheel.” After that, each chapter is for each part of the “vitality wheel.”
After the chapters associated with each part of the wheel, it goes on about your self-care toolkit, reminding you how it’s not selfish to practice self-care. Then a reminder of what to do next, in the following chapter, giving examples of what you could have as your self-care toolkit.

There are mantras and affirmations you can try, as well as a few yoga poses for each part of the “vitality wheel.” Again, the author reminds you to choose what you feel is right for you.

This book is certainly something I recommend and it’s a book to refer back to as your needs change in the future.

If you liked this post, then look out for a further post on Saturday when I share my vitality wheel that I have created for myself. I will also be sharing my wellness journal in that post too.

 

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

#WellnessWednesday – Some of my scents I find soothing and relaxing

dav

These are just some of my different scents in the photo above, that I find soothing, that helps me relax:

  • Yardley rose perfume
  • The Original Champneys Health Spa – Summer Dream Rewarding Body Lotion
  • Relaxing lavender and coconut oil hydrating spritz
  • Relaxing lavender temple balm

 

As well as the above, I also like my scented candles, or scented oil in my diffuser.

And I find the smell and taste of Earl Grey tea comforting too.

What scents do you like, that feel soothing and relaxing?

 

© Elizabeth Fisher and My Wellbeing and Learning Journey.

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Wellbeing and Learning Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (But Guest Posts that feature on my blog are not allowed at all to be duplicated, as that is their copyright.)

Blog post re-share: “43 Self-Care Practices for the Highly Sensitive Person,” Renee Shuman

A blog post I came across today and thought I would share: “43 self-care practices for the highly sensitive person,” you will find over at “Will Folic For Food.” Click on link below, to take you to the post. It’s a couple of years old this post, but I still feel it’s useful.

https://www.willfrolicforfood.com/blog/2017/04/43-self-care-practices-for-the-highly-sensitive-person.html?format=amp

Blog post re-share: Why Those of us That Can, Must Fight — The Bipolar Writer Mental Health Blog

I would like to share this post with my readers, from The Bipolar Writer Mental Health Blog.

I also agree with the first commenter in that blog post too, by Alanpenrose5654.

Do take a read of this blog post and the comments. Also, if you are not already following this blog, I totally recommend you do.

I hope that all of us in the mental illness blogging community have the same goals–to end the stigma surrounding mental illness. I believe that to keep the fight going and maybe educate those that have never walked a day in our shoes, it is imperative to share your story. We are all unique, and though we may share similar symptoms of our collective illnesses, it is how you deal and your past that might help future mental illness sufferers.

via Why Those of us That Can, Must Fight — The Bipolar Writer Mental Health Blog

Blog post re-share: You Are Amazing

It’s so easy to overlook yourself and this post serves as a good reminder for us. 🙂

Letitgocoach

I’m truly enjoying the November Soul Reset.

Day Three is talking about gratitude, but not just the proverbial list. It asked me to thank myself.

To say ‘thank you’ to me for being me.

Consider the last time you felt thankful for yourself. Really genuinely. Not because someone told you to. But because it just dawned on you. It just dawned on you that you are pretty amazing. ~SC Lourie

This is rather profound. When I think back of all the things I’ve been through, I tend to thank God, and that someone who stood by me during the storm. I cannot recall if I’ve ever said, “Thank you Barb.” 

I encourage you to take a quiet moment with you. Sit with a warm cuppa, and thank you for being there for you. When you think of who you love most in this world let it be you. You…

View original post 3 more words