So it’s the weekend

I really struggled getting up this morning, after lack of sleep last night. I had to drag myself out of bed. As well as tired and drained with so much focus going onto Spark Energy and getting them to sort out my messy account for gas and electric, I was so fed up, I could have easily stayed in bed all day. I have not felt like that for a long time.

So after getting up and counting my change to see if I could stretch to a drink out, I made myself go out.
The plan today was to go to Mansfield Museum. It’s free to go in and it’s not something I have hardly gone in before. Now I am living in Mansfield, I will make a habit of visiting every month, or two.
So I looked at all their displays, except for the children’s part. There were art work showing old Mansfield times. I looked at displays showing history of local mining and factories. There were small models of how some places may have looked one time and a room full of  photos taken by people.

From setting out of the house and coming back home for a late lunch, I was out for a couple of hours. I never had a cuppa out, so money saved. It was a struggle walking out today, as I felt tired and muscles slightly hurting. But at least my anxiety was better than it’s been for rest of this week.

Once home, I stayed in and played a couple of word games on my phone. Now I am listening to music.

I limited my time to half an hour Twitter. I have been letting my feeling known about Spark Energy there, as well as tweeting Ombudsman about them. I looked into if I was able to contact Ombudsman by post, if it ends up I take it that far. I am placing a personal bet with myself that I will end up doing this, because their emails remain short, standard and copied and pasted text in parts to me. It doesn’t feel that they are actually writing to me and they are not fully answering my emails. They think job done and over. But the job is not even half done and it certainly is not over when my account does not reflect the short time I have been with them, containing readings, that I have not given.
I have only checked my emails once this afternoon and have no intention of looking for rest of the night. It’s my time.

Tomorrow, I am avoiding Twitter full stop and I won’t be checking my emails. Mind you, the checking emails will be hard, as my focus tomorrow is to apply to a cleaning job I seen today and the other being a random email to a business near me, seeing if they are needing any cleaners and, telling them about me and attaching a CV. After that, then yeah, not going in my email account.

What’s your weekend like?

 

So update regarding issues with Spark Energy

If you have been following comments in this post, I am so glad they are down and out you will know an additional email was sent later in the evening on the 10th January, to inform them that while they are looking into the electric, they also need to be looking into the gas account as well. This was because I noticed a reading on my gas account for November, yet I did not join them with my gas until December. This reading is higher than I make my own reading as well. So another mistake I have noticed with my account, which still gives me no vote of confidence at all and possibly further unnecessary stress with this company.

The morning of the 10th January, I had to scan my tenancy agreement. So my morning was wasted doing that and learning how to send it all in one go, in an email. (A zip file, that I have never done before.)

I am hoping with the quietness of it all that they are seriously sorting this.

I have said to them that I expect compensation for this unnecessary stress, because I have said to them, come down and see the meter yourself and it will be sorted that very second, but you have not arranged anything. I provide what you want, but so far not correcting anything. Now I provide my tenancy agreement, but I have no faith.

I heard from Ofgem. It’s the Ombudsman that I will need to contact, when it comes to complaining. Spark Energy have until next month, when their 8 weeks is up and if it’s not sorted by then, it’s a complaint to Ombudsman. If I hear before from Spark Energy, but not sorted and they don’t plan to, I can write before.

This, as you know has affected my health, as I said in this post, Mental health can so easily slip.

I pay my way. It’s how I was brought up, to pay bills first. I find it very upsetting that I am treated like this. Especially when I have provided the proof.

I have had enough the past couple of years and this is supposed to be a fresh start. But with this discovery and issues now with Spark Energy, they have put an unnecessary cloud over my home. (Not forgetting the crap with other supplier, that took my landlord to sort.)

I will keep you updated on this, as I know more myself.

Mental health can so easily slip

With different stresses in life, anyone can easily take a knocking. But if you already struggle with your mental health, it can easily take a set back. I have considered being on a better path than I have ever been in the past, but I take this down to being more aware with myself. Despite knock backs, I consider myself ok, but I find I can still slip unexpectedly. My latest slip of stress really getting to me, due to Spark Energy is because I have not been on the ball in being aware of my mental health, because I have been so wrapped up with the issue that I consider a serious complaint. Supplying them with everything that they have asked, but not happy with what they receive. This morning, I have had to scan my tenancy agreement and send that to them in an email. I had to learn how to attach such a large file to an email. My headache got worse as I scanned the pages. My time being wasted yet again I am thinking and also thinking, any more issues? Will they accept the agreement? Because after all, they not happy so far. All would be so simple if they just came out to read meters but they do have the photographic evidence, including photographic evidence of initial reading.

A reminder was left for me by Katie, in the comments of this post; I am so glad they are down and out. Thank you, Katie.

I also seen this post on Katie’s blog; “Mental strength.” This post I could relate with how I am again and it also serves as a reminder for me.

I have noticed, but not fully acknowledge the small things, like pots mounting up and left till next day. Something I would not normally do, as I like a clean sink for mornings. But this is what has been happening this week.

The air has been blue in my flat, as in I mean swearing kind of blue. Swearing in general, when talking about my frustration with Spark Energy, swearing at myself.

I am hoping today, as I acknowledge this and be more aware again that this now calms down. It’s my mental health and my responsibility to get myself back and not let the idiots at Spark Energy who only care about their pay packet and not sorting customers needs quickly and appropriately.

I am so glad they are down and out.

Remember when I blogged about my move to where I live currently and how for two weeks, the supplier I was contacting during that time, (once I knew it was them,) left me two weeks without heating? In the end, you will remember that it took my landlord to sort that out for me.
Well, I shall name and shame them. It was Economy Energy that failed me due to no customer service what so ever. Last week, they were under Ofgem, but I learnt yesterday, they ceased trading. I am so happy to hear this, because now don’t ever have to worry about coming across them again, should and when I one day move again.
But unfortunately, when it comes to the utility provider I moved to, which is Spark Energy, before all the above happened with other above provider, I am now having issues with them too.
I am not having problems with the gas meter that I moved across from Economy Energy, which I moved over to them because first impressions seamt ok. It’s now the electric. The electric meter I have been with them since day one I have been in this flat. They have regular monthly meter readings. But I am noticing that they have only ever used one reading and the rest have been estimates. I have heard different excuses to the same complaint, by different staff. I am not happy. I don’t trust these now and I have lost faith. I even provided photos of my meter capturing both my readings rate 1 and rate 2, making sure that reference number on meter was visible too, so they know I am taking my meter and no one else’s and they said it wasn’t clear. So a follow-up email continued where I said what part is not clear for you? Did you zoom in the photo if required, stating how I have shown these to someone else and they can see them and not seen my meter. I told them if they don’t accept those photos, then they can send someone out to read it. I also said I would be contacting Ofgem. I then received a reply from someone different, who said thank you to those readings and my updated bill is now attached. But looking at bill, they still did not use my readings. So another email followed and now I have a new different answer.

I have stated very clearly to Spark Energy that I am not happy, I don’t trust them and I have no faith in them. I want this dealt with by a supervisor and only by that one person to completely deal with this issue, because I am sick and tired of hearing different excuses to my same problem. Which they still not using that latest reading.
I have also raised something else about my account that I am now questioning. Why are there readings before 1st October 2018, when my tenancy did not start until 1st October 2018? I also stated that I did not move in until 22nd October 2018. Again, what they know already, when I first contacted them, letting them know I am the new tenant.

I have emailed Ofgem about everything that has been said between me and Spark Energy, along with how happy I am to hear Economy Energy are no longer around, telling them of my experience with them.
I also added in the email to Ofgem that whose idea was it that we have to put up with the utility provider first already there at the property I move into, until transfer has taken place of my preferred supplier? It should go back to how it was before, where you could take your supplier straight across with you, then I would not have to the crap experience I am having, that is unnecessarily stressful.

Here is the new report from Independent: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/economy-energy-bankrupt-bust-administration-customers-limbo-gas-electricity-supplier-ofgem-a8717776.html%3famp

To say no

Learning to say no to something, can be the hardest thing to do. It was only a few years ago that I was able to say no to things, confidently. No did not come often in those years, because there were not many things to say no to. My first memory of confidently saying no, was at my last job. The past year, I can’t remember if I needed to say no to anything. But feeling forgetful is something that has been happening a lot this year. (But that might be another story.)

This year, since living where I am, I have come across some situations that I have said no to.
The first was to my neighbour downstairs, but I it wasn’t a complete no, as I met halfway. He asked if I would like to join him and a couple of his friends for a dinner at a local pub very near where we live. I said no to the dinner part, as budget-wise at the time, there was a possibility I would not be able to afford a dinner. But even if I could, I decided later to myself, that the dinner part would still be a no. But I would come a little later to join them over drinks. (Mine being the soft drinks, for readers that don’t know about me not drinking alcohol.) So when he knows when they will go, then I will know. That’s unless of course things have changed for him, because he has no money at the moment. All I shall say, it’s all because of Universal Credit. A system that still looks shit and leaves people in shit.

The next no was at my current workplace. I decided I wasn’t joining in their Secret Santa with the atmosphere and what I was observing and with the odd one, I have suspicions that would they be grateful what they receive anyway. So I shall be observing this one with interest.

This one is not actually saying a no, but I knew in my head this year, for my mum’s birthday, that this time I would just put money in her card. I have taken her out for meals in the past, whether cafe, or a pub. This has been either just me and her, or another friend joining in where he has also treated her. But I knew this time I wasn’t doing this, with wanting quite a lot of quietness.

I said no to something recently that I wasn’t expecting. Although I said no confidently, I did not like saying no on this occasion, as I was saying no to my uncle. Again, it was a no because I just want quiet time and it will happen before my hearing aids are sorted, so it will only cause me anxiety with the noise and what ever else that’s with me at that time.
My uncle was planning on arranging a family meal out, but he wanted me and my mum to join them. This could be counting 6, or 7 in total to this meal. That’s including me in the total.
For now, it’s too much to sit with a group, in what will be a busy pub, where we are all having our pre-Christmas get together.

I will probably be asked about this later, from my cousin. (My uncles daughter.) But it will still be a no.

The atmosphere

The atmosphere at work seems to be there still and again, at end of shift, someone does not seem to have their sense of humour, so she snapped and left me feeling upset. Not that she probably noticed, as I kept quiet after that and left her to it still muttering, while I watched, before leaving the room. (Before, on  another occasion, it was me that snapped, because I was sick of being dragged into the other thing that has caused this atmosphere, that I cannot go into.) Along with how I am feeling as a HSP and also the sensitivity to sounds I am having at the moment, that did not also help.

As I mentioned in comments on another post, that something went off at work causing now what is an atmosphere. As a HSP, I struggled with this and I talked in earlier posts how I craved my week off for quietness, which I had.
Also prior to my week off and coming back, I decided to take myself away from it by sitting somewhere else, till time for work. If I did not do this, I made sure that I arrived at work enough to put my tabard on and my safety shoes, so that by the time I’d done that, it wouldn’t be long before time to start. Doing this, helped me to not pick up all this atmosphere, which I felt closely I would feel the need to be off work sick otherwise, if I didn’t.

Slowly, the past week, I have been rejoining. But I can tell it’s still there and after tonight, I am upset. But I am reminding myself that she is upset for whatever her own personal reasons, whether be it work issues, or what started the atmosphere as a whole for all of us and that I am sensitive to all this, down to me being HSP.
I remind myself as I am at home tonight feeling upset, that this will pass. That I love my job and it’s just the atmosphere that is spoiling it.
But next week and onwards, I plan to be there just to work and only speak when it’s to do with work. If I am earlier than expected, I will go back to sitting by myself, only speaking to certain colleagues individually during shift, in passing. I don’t want to be dragged into this atmosphere. I have had enough. I am there for work, nothing else.

I don’t seem with it

The last few weeks have been mentally and physically draining. You will have probably picked that up in my posts as you read them, even when I did not say it.

I talked about how I was so Craving quietness.
I was craving it badly that final week at work and after a week off, for the first time ever, I did not want to go back. Now I love work still, so don’t get me wrong. At work that has been a little trouble going on, which I cannot go into and I won’ go into detail. It’s not directly at me and it’s not my employer causing it. But what has been going off, has affected the atmosphere due to this incident. It wasn’t quiet at work and the tension in the atmosphere was high and there still is tension. I dreaded going back after the quiet week I craved and my mood was very dark Monday. My mood is a little better but not much.

As I have been learning and as I mentioned here, I am a ‘Highly Sensitive Person’ (HSP) I discovered. With how I have been the last few weeks with the slight difficulty in the moving process, the tiredness both physically and mentally, I am really picking this up at work and it is affecting me. Yesterday, I found I was struggling walking at times, feeling like my legs were going to go from under me. My muscles not wanting to hold me up. This is one of the effects of stress. Not had this for a long time, to that extent and I am hoping my body does not do more of this.

Today, I am a little tearful, after calling into my bank and I have decided to call into a cafe before going home for a drink and then I will be sitting down with my bank details, checking where I went wrong and correcting my workings. I called into the bank because I noticed my standing order for my rent was returned. Looking at my balance, it looked like there was sufficient funds and I was fuming that it had been returned. After the bank looked into it, it turned out a payment elsewhere I made was put first (which that’s fine) and standing order returned, as there would have been insufficient funds. Thankfully no charges. I am usually very good when it comes to my own money, making sure I have sufficient funds and I thought I had made a note of this in my folder, so when I am home, I will be seeing if I did make a note of this other payment or not. And then I will be just having my quiet. I thought I was with it now, but obviously not.

My mood is not also helping with my sensitivity to sound I am having. I have finally got round to emailing my audiologist yesterday, so hopefully, I will hear of an appointment soon with a particular audiologist.