When time doesn’t heal all wounds

A blog post share.

#Speak

After you go through something painful, people love to give you advice. And one of the most common pieces of advice is the infamous expression “just give it time.” With time, the hurt and suffering you are experiencing will gradually decrease until one day it’s gone for good. And yes, I know this phrase may hold true for various situations. But when it comes to recovering from an abusive relationship, it’s a different matter entirely.

An abusive relationship strips away everything you thought you knew about human nature and the world. With abuse, you experience someone you love transform into a monster before your eyes – they degrade you, hurt you, put you down, threaten you, over and over and over again. Experiencing this kind of trauma leaves a very real and very profound mark on a person. It makes you question your previous beliefs that people are genuinely good…

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Book review: “Positive Outcomes for Dissociative Survivors – Emotional Resource Guide,” by Carolyn Spring.

This book brings a number of articles and concepts that are designed to help people learn how to take back control over their traumatised emotional and bodily states. This is through understanding concepts such as the back brain and the front brain, the window of tolerance and the trauma traffic light.

Contents of this book:

  • Introduction
  • Coping with crisis
  • Emergency box
  • Managing triggers
  • Body sensations
  • Managing flashbacks
  • The trauma traffic light
  • The window of tolerance
  • Emergency cards
  • Alphabet of emotions
  • Safety kit: Emotional thermometer
  • Mental Health Act 1983

This 57 page guide-book, I bought from Amazon and it is for those who experience frequent states of debilitating, even life-threatening distress and is also a resource for those who work with this client group.

The book advises on its contents page to take care when reading, as some content may be triggering.

I like how this book explained the ‘back brain’ and the ‘front brain’ and, how and why we respond the way we do. Even more so, due to our past trauma we may have experienced.
I also was reminded by reading this book, that how I react to my triggers is not my fault and to not give myself self-hate because of it, as this does help either.

When being triggered, it gives tips on how I could get my front brain to switch back online, after a trigger.

About the author

Carolyn Spring is an author as well as being Director of PODS (Positive Outcomes for Dissociative Survivors) and its charity framework START (Survivors Trauma and Abuse Recovery Trust). PODS works to make recovery from dissociative disorders a reality through training, informing and supporting.
Carolyn Spring is also Editor of ‘Multiple Parts,’ a magazine/journal produced three times a year for PODS and also spends a large proportion of her time training at PODS’ many events throughout the UK.
She developed Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) as a result of prolonged and extreme childhood abuse, but believes passionately in recovery and the dignity and respect that is due to all human beings, but especially those who have been abused as children.

Childhood retreat

When ‘Beauty and the Beast’ aired on British TV, I absolutely loved it, when I was a kid. Staring Ron Perlman, as Vincent and Linda Hamilton, as Catherine, watching it was an escape from the world of bullies and things that sometimes went on at home. The trouble was, it was only on one day a week, which wasn’t enough for me. I would escape into my own world, when it was time for bed and imagine being there with them, giving myself a new name and creating new stories. It was my safe world, because this was a safe world for all the different characters that lived there, below the city streets. Each of them with a past story, before they came to live there, where they felt safe and loved. Having a purpose.
I watched every single one, except for the very last one, or the one also before that. I was absolutely gutted I missed the ending, which I recorded and did not catch the end. It obviously started late, because I always used to put an extra ten minutes past the finishing time. I kept looking in the papers each week, wondering why it was not on and wondering when it would be on again, not realising it had completely finished altogether. It wasn’t until I was an adult and having access to the internet and Googling it, that I had learnt it had completely finished and how it ended.
For some years now, (but I don’t know how long exactly,) I own the whole episodes on DVD’s. As a late-deafened adult, I totally rely on subtitles to watch anything, so when I ordered the DVD set from Amazon which the DVD’s are import, I made sure it said that they had subtitles. Which it did. But when it came to playing them on my all-region DVD player, I only found that the subtitles were only on the extras, not on the series itself. I was disappointed, but because I needed the escape again, I kept them and watched them all. But watching only, as I could not follow the conversations and the character, Vincent is not a person you can even lip-read for a start.

Fast forward to the present, I bought a second external CD/DVD player for my laptop of a different model, so I could just play my American import DVD’s. Not only do I have ‘Beauty and the Beast,’ I have ‘Sue Thomas FBEye’ complete series too. (No problem with Sue Thomas though, the subs were available when watching them on my old DVD player.) When I played a ‘Beauty and the Beast’ DVD, to check it worked on this new external player ok, I could see there was an options for closed captions and so I clicked on it and before my eyes I seen subtitles pop up to what was being said at the time. (Theme music that starts at the beginning and the words of Vincent.) So I am expecting this will happen on every one now. I was so happy to see this and cried with tears of joy. This TV series means so much to me and I can’t see I will ever get bored with it. It’s my escape still, when I watch them, but the only difference is I won’t be creating new scenes and jump into that world when I go to bed at night, as I did when I was a kid.

Book review: “Untangled: A story of resilience, courage and triumph,” by Alexis Rose.

“Untangled: …” by Alexis Rose is her own true life story, recalling her life of unimaginable abuse and explicit threats. Alexis Rose repressed these memories of her past, until a family tragedy forced her to face what her life had been.

This book gives a note to the readers before the story starts, to warn how it could be triggering because of descriptions of sexual and physical abuse.

A history of abuse, torture and threats to maintain her silence or be killed, could no longer be denied.
This book is her story of facing the truth and risking the consequences of breaking the silence, to start a healing journey and to learn to live her life. Alexis Rose had to also learn to accept the effects of the trauma that echo through her daily life as PTSD.

Through reading this book, it shows just how our mind dissociates while being abused.
Dissociation is something I have experienced as you know from my blog posts. But to experience what Alexis Rose had all through her life, I could not imagine. This book certainly lives up to the title of resilience and it gives hope to other victims who have suffered trauma and abuse, that you can get through it too. This book helped me to understand more about PTSD and the way my own PTSD had effected me, when I was struggling with mine at the beginning of my counselling sessions, when it was raw to start off with and during, that I revealed to my counsellor.

When I got to page 204, I shed tears of relief as Alexis Rose found the missing link with her counsellor.

I have been following Alexis Rose’s blog, ‘Untangled’ for some time now, which you can find here at: https://atribeuntangled.com/blog/

Alexis also did an interview you may like to read at, Vilina Christoph.

The power and necessity of self expression in healing trauma — Emerging From The Dark Night

A well-written post that caught my eye this morning, that I would like to share with my readers. Please visit “Emerging From The Dark Night,” to read all of this post.

I woke late this morning to hear the tail end of a very powerful interview with an aboriginal writer and artist. Rhonda Collard Spratt who has recently written a book on the trauma of being one of the stolen generation, those precious young children who were forceably removed from family and community ‘for their own good’ by […]

via The power and necessity of self expression in healing trauma — Emerging From The Dark Night

Dissociation

What is dissociation?

Dissociation is a self-defense mechanism that the brain uses when it cannot handle the current situation, or when it is attempting to process something painful.

When this happens, the person begins to feel unreal, sometimes they feel as though they are watching themselves go through their day-to-day activities, other times it’s an entirely eerie feeling, as if their body does not belong to them.

Learn more here, at Mind.

PANIC ATTACK!

Knowing how awful panic attacks can be and reading this blog post regarding how a wonderful person helped one of my favourite bloggers, through her panic attack. I wanted to share this post on her behalf, even though I am taking a break from blogging currently. I could not ignore this post request.

The High Octane Shine Blog

PLEASE RE-POST THIS….I WANT IT SHARED AS WIDELY AS POSSIBLE.

(ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIVE IN THE NORTH-EAST OF ENGLAND.)

Here is my actual Facebook post which I want people to share…

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PLEASE LIKE AND SHARE THORUGHOUT THE NORTH-EAST AND BEYOND XXX

People of the North-East. Please help me track down my ‘angel of the north’ who helped me through my PANIC ATTACK at the Tyne Tunnel toll booths yesterday at approx. 1pm when I was en route to a meeting in South Shields.

You did everything *perfectly* to help get me through that horrendous experience, and I genuinely don’t know how I would have coped in that traumatic and terrifying situation without your AMAZING altruistic support.

PLEASE SHARE THIS POST AS WIDELY AS YOU CAN THROUGHOUT THE NORTH-EAST AS I WANT TO FIND THIS WOMAN AND PERSONALLY THANK HER!!!

I told my story about you and how you helped me…

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